| SBL 2004 WEEK 4 SUNDAY, JUNE 20 THE K-Y COURT AT ASS BANG FIELDHOUSE THE SHORT BUS ALL-STARS 9 JUKEBOX HERO 10 (11 INNINGS) after a slow first four innings...wait, no. after an anemic first four innings. no, that's not it, either. after an impotent first four innings which saw a grand total of one run one a grand total of one hit, a solo homerun by lenny crist of all people, the heroes and all-stars finally got things....um....up....and actually put on a great first game of the week. after the floodgates had opened and the heroes to a one-run lead, short bus bounced back in the top of the fifth with a solo homer of their own, this time coming off the tiny little fingertips of chris mclaughlin. fast foward to, following a handful of lead changes, the bottom of the ninth with the all-stars holding onto a 6-3 lead and the heroes looking to make a furious late-game charge. three consecutive extra-base hits by heroes addam stainbrook, seth salcedo and lenny crist pull the yellow mesh army to within one, then after misses by kevin "stud" frankovich (rookie phenom) and stainbrook, young salcedo steps up and calmly drills a two-bagger to knot the game at 6 and force extra innings, in the top of the tenth, short bus seemingly puts the game out of reach with a lee nespor three-run homer with no outs, but then fail to score again. the door left open, jukebox storms back yet again as lenny crist drills another huge homer after consecutive doubles by stud and stain. onto the eleventh. weisberg hits a single to start things off, then tips in a ted gilliland miss and things are looking good again. but, as always, short-bus chokes with the game on the line, and neither man manages to cross the plate. in the home half of the inning, salcedo bangs a single to get things started and is driven in by stainbrook two batters later. final score, 10-9. crist's 6 for 10, 2 homer, 6 rbi game and stainbrook's 4 double plays paced the heroes (2-5), while short bus was led by ted gilliland's 8 for 12 effort. weisberg added 3 double plays. XDEATHX WSAC 7 THE SERBIAN JEW DOUBLE BLUFFS 12 after a scrum that managed (one game into the day) to piss of the nearest neighbor, visiting xdeathx came out a 'swingin, crossing the plate three times in the first before a tomko double play stifled the early offense. the three-run inning was highlighted by a jon biddle 360 degree self-assist from the triple line following a missed double that caromed off the fingertips of bluff captain matt mcclelland. the bluffs couldn't answer in either of the first two innings and, for the first time in three weeks, looked rattled. the purple people eaters found their groove in the third, finally plating runs in true serbian jew fashion, putting 5 on the board on the shoulders of tomko's three-run homer and run-scoring triple. in the top of the fourth, however, xdeathx answered the call with billy picciotto hitting his own rbi collecting homer/triple combo, and the score stood at 7-5 after five, slightly in favor of jon biddle's troops. that would be the last x would score as the bluffs defense took over with 5 double plays in the final 5 innings, including a huge put-back by young aryn christman in the 8th. all totaled the bluffs failed to turn a d.p. only once the entire game. tomko finished the game with an impressive 8 for 10, 4 homer, 11 rbi, 5 double play line. shelly goodpastor contributed a 7 for 10 performance. for xdeathx (4-3), picciotto drove in 4 and jon biddle tipped in 6 double plays. TEAM DONKEY PUNCH 15 HOOSIER DADDY 2 (6 INNINGS) i told you hoosier daddy was primed for a fall. after pulling off miraculous win after miraculous win thru 3 weeks to grab the league's top spot, hoosier daddy finally found themselves on the other side of the coin, the "can't make shit" side. brandon mckendry, after vowing seconds earlier to break jon biddle's single-game homerun record, looked prophetic as he calmly drilled a homer in his first at-bat of the game. unfortunately it was a solo homer, and the homer the back-from-injury/suspension jared clayton had made in the top of the first was of the two-run variety and accounted for only half of punches first stanza run total. and it was mckendry's only hit of the game, and his inability to make shots was infectious for team daddy. with clayton dominating inside defensively and all members of donkey punch stroking clutch shots and plating runs every inning, the game was out of hand fast and, mercifully, the game was called after 6. returning in monster fashion, j.c. hit 6 of 11 with 3 dingers and 7 runs batted in with an assist and 4 double plays. kurt rodemoyer also hit 6 of 11 shots and, wouldn't you know it, pat lackey also hit 6 of 11 shots. now thats team consistency. donkey punch climbed to 5-2 while hoosier daddy couldn't keep pace with the bluffs for first in the sbl and dropped to 5-2. PJ & THE LADIES 15 THE SHORT BUS ALL-STARS 2 sitting at 1-5 and facing a week without either team captain pj nespor or team leader big rando knight and only 2 roster players attending, pj & the ladies needed help in a big way. and that help came in the form of kevin "stud" frankovich, claimed off the waiver wire minutes before game time and snatched from under the nose of hoosier daddy captain and cousin of the stud bryan frank. the pickup was huge as the elder frankovich busted loose for 6 homers and 8 runs batted in on 8 of 13 shooting. as if that weren't enough, stud also tipped in an assist and 4 double plays. with their new giant playing giantly, ladies lenny crist and greg lackey needed only to hold serve, and did so, both having solid outings and not hurting their team. the all-stars, meanwhile, in a game they needed real fuckin' bad, continued to suck major ass. a chris mclaughlin homer in the first and a ted gilliland homer in the last were the endcaps on an 8-inning scoreless streak in which they garnered only 5 hits. weisberg's 5 double plays were the only stat of note for 2-7 short bus. the ladies climbed out of the cellar with a 2-6 record. JUKEBOX HERO 6 THE SERBIAN JEW DOUBLE BLUFFS 26 (6 INNINGS) with a hero squad consisting of all three lackey brothers and serbian jew double bluffs captain big mac mcclelland opting to start addam stainbrook and the triad of h.s. honies katie kelly, aryn christman and shelly goodpastor over himself and nate tomko, the game looked to be a hotly contested matchup. until the first shot, anyway. the bluffs, after giving up 2 in the top of the first, hit their first 6 shots of the inning and 8 of their first nine to build a 7-2 lead after one. in that first inning, goodpastor nailed homers of the two and three-run varieties, a theme which would stick for the entire game. as the aryn christman-led defense clamped down, limiting the heroes to three hits over the final five frames (one of which, a dennis lackey grand slam, actually worked out better for them as you'll read in a second), shelly continued to rain homer after homer. in the top of the sixth, shelly had nailed 5 homers and looked unstoppable, or nearly so. her only weakness in her quest for the single-game longball record seemed to be the lackey brothers inability to score runs, until fuzzyhead dennis's unlikely grand salami closed the lead to under 12, preventing the mercy rule and giving her a final inning oppurtunity to break the record. in the bottom of the 6th, shelly needed all three homers to claim the record. in the history of the sbl, only one person had hit three homers in an inning. now, there are two. and now, there is a new single-game homerun recordholder. shelly's unbelieveable 10 for 12 game also shattered another sbl single-game record. her 19 runs batted in were 4 more than the previous best, shared by jared clayton and andy esenwein. also for the double bluffs, who won their 6th in a row and stand alone atop the sbl at 7-1, aryn christman hit 7 of 11 shots with 2 double plays, and katie kelly and addam stainbrook posted identical 6 for 11 nites. mcclelland and tomko did not participate in the 20-run shellacking. the best lackey on jukebox hero was dennis, who batted in 5 runs. 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