| 2005 TEAM BY TEAM DRAFT RECAP AND GRADES |
| PJ & THE LADIES predraft: sbl hall of famer billy weisberg, after 4 grueling seasons on team he didn't want to be on with little to no chance of winning a championship, finally stepped up to become a captain in 2005. it surprised no one when weisberg landed fellow hall of famer and sbl president (and roommate) nate tomko during the predraft phase. while tomko and weisberg won't be the offensive connection of, say, a frankovich and mcclelland, their defense will be a site to behold. with the "no pass" rule being erradicated a month ago, the mental bond these two share on the court will now come in handy, and a lot of no-look, behind the back, off the backboard passes can be expected. this team should average over 8 double plays a game between them. in addition to defense, tomko gives wiesberg one of the top offenses in the game. nate has the ability to both hit for average an go outside, a package few others in the sbl can match. in addition, not having to be his teams biggest (or only) gun should take some pressure off of the jewish one and allow him to finally reach his potential. pick 7 & 8: it was only when these back-to-back picks rolled around did the evil really come out. as weisberg stepped up and began writing his picks on the board, big rando knight and pj nespor stormed into the room, sporting their brand new pj & the ladies jersey's. tomko and weisberg removed their outer layer of clothing to reveal their pj & the ladies jerseys as well, and the greatest buttfucking in sbl history was finally out in the open. for months, weisberg, tomko, knight and nespor had been convincing the rest of the league that neither pj or rando would be around for the summer, allowing team weisberg to snatch them up at the end of the first round. after years of fighting amongst themselves, rando and pj forming a bitter fued with president tomko and chief of staff weisberg, the 4 biggest names in league history were finally on the same side. shortly after the pick, a dog married a cat and hell reached a chilly 32 degrees farenheit. pick 21: seth salcedo, who many consider the perfect lady, went with the final pick of round 3. with weisberg having sewn up his nucleus of tomko, nespor and knight (all 3 of which will indeed be here all summer), he was able to spend a few picks on role players who will add to the semen-sweet flavor of pj & the ladies. salcedo, who doesn't do much besides shoot singles and piss off ted, fit this team perfectly. pick 22: aryn christman went with the second pick of the ladies back to backers. while nobody would argue that pj&l will have their best team ever this season, the addition of christman gives them a solid leadoff hitter, something they had been missing up to that point. neither knight, nespor or weisberg have the average to fill that void, and tomko has proven time and time again he's not the same player batting in the 1-hole. a very smart pickup here, thought it's rumoured the ladies had their hearts set on elysa farrell and may still be looking for a trade. pick 35: with erin hayden falling to team frankovich one pick earlier, the ladies settled on former lady and equal hottie katie burger at pick 35. burger brings a nasty middle triple shot to the table, but that isn't why she was drafted. oh, you know why. pick 35: with longtime anti-lady nate tomko already in their collective, the ladies decided to suck former nemesis adam fabian in as well. fabes, who has been a regular for years...regular no-show, that is... burn!.. should see a few more games this season since he'll be rooming with pj, who will surely drug him, throw him in the trunk, and drive him from butler to sharon quite a bit. fabes actually has a decent all-around game, and should give the ladies another joker to throw into the mix should they come up one or four short. pick 49: abby carroll, who had pledged her allegiance to the ladies two nights prior, went off the board at 49. i don't know how well she can play, but every version of the ladies could use some actual ladies. pick 50: "jared clayton, perhaps one of the best players ever to play in the sbl lasting all the way until pick 50? what's going on?" here's how it went down: president tomko, knowing he would be a lady, removed clayton from the draft board, citing that "if he played, clayton would want to be his own captain". fair enough, thought the sbl, and went 49 picks without giving clayton so much as a thought as they continually crossed names off the draft board and added them to their roster. when the ladies final pick rolled around, weisberg simply took the draft board off the wall and turned it around to reveal jared clayton's name on the back. president tomko pointed out the word "over" in the bottom right corner of the board...visible to the trained eye.. and the ladies had once again screwed the sbl. those wanting to file complaints about the ladies drafting should consult either sbl president tomko or senior chief of staff wiesberg with any problems. haha! grade: B- like lackey's draft, i'm torn on this one. one part of me feels bad for betraying the sbl like we did, but another justs wants to feel good for finally being a lady and doing what ladies do. i'm going to give us a B- for this. based solely on the players we landed, we would obviously get an A+, but considering that knight, nespor and clayton all came via less than honest means, i have to take our grade down a peg or two. in all fairness, however, we did bolster our roster with some solid pickups the right way. christman, salcedo, fabes, burger and abby all represent what pj&l is about: hot bitches and screwing off. i think the ladies will have a good year. they're not head and shoulders above everyone else like the bluffs of 2004 because three of their top 4 are too similair in playing style to be able to dominate. they will, however, end up with 12 to 14 wins and be a serious threat to bring the left-eye back to the nearest communist country. and for those who think we've stacked our team by adding clayton, relax. we have no intentions of ever seeing clayton in lady red. that move was strictly for show. |