| CLAYTON'S BIG FAT GAY BASEKETBALL TEAM pre-draft: i was extremely close to signing with jared clayton, but decided it would have been unfair to put the 2 best players in the same uniform. failing to nail down his first bid, couple with the news that he would be given a break and be allowed to take a 2003 teammate with his first pick, clayton decided to forego his option to take someone prior to selection sunday. pick 2: i thought jared was gonna bust in his pants when i told him he could have elysa farrell with his first pick. kinda like shelly, but not quite as good with actual desire to play for jared, elysa is a phenomenal pick for CBFGBT here. she get's on base, and not even clayton can love solo homers if that's all he hits. pick 4: clayton taking jamie moroco here would have been a huge shocker if it hadn't come directly on the heels of pj nespor taking esewein. jamie gives jared 2 great shooters to bat ahead of him, meaning solo homers are now three-run jobbers. but how does jamie feel about playing for this team? pick 13: kurt rodemoyer was going to end up on this team, but did he have to go this early? while a solid all-around player who actually went from solid to near-brilliant in the postseason, it's unlikely he would have gone to any other team higher that 23. pick 16: greg lackey, taken in round 4, is little known. he probably has goofy hair, and we're imagining is somewhere in between the quiet laid back pat lackey and overcaffienated dennis lackey. whatever he is, he didn't last and was sent to the ladies along with gavala for dennis lackey, who was then traded for nolan vujovic and pat lackey in one of the most lopsided trades in any sport ever. pick 25: jason biddle was a terrific pick for clayton here. he's got skills, the i bat a high percentage skills that clayton likes. and he would have gone within the next five picks, guaranteed. while he will be in pittsburgh this summer, he'll only be in pittsburgh this summer, so it's not like he won't be able to show up regularly if he so chooses. pick 28: marcy yonkey, the mandatory take the girlfriend pick. pick 40: jen gavala, the mandatory take the person everyone loves so you can trade her for someone you want. and clayton did, basically giving her up for vujovic and pat lackey. pick 45: adam fabian, if he attended regularly, would be a top-10 pick. he's got decent all-around game and eveyone either loves him or loves to antagonize him. a good addition to any team. post-draft: mark metro. like swogger, only with more tattoos and athletic ability. grade: A elysa and jamie were tremendous selections at 2 and 4, as was jason biddle at 25. but the real meat of this draft was essentially getting pat lackey and nolan vujovic with picks 16 and 40, and i peronally hope pat comes back and burns hoosier daddy for dealing him in such a one-sides trade. the only thing keeping clayton from an A+ was his somewhat premature selection of k-unit. all in all, jared did exactly what he could to keep pace with mclelland and co., who have a team that may be the best ever. |
| XDEATHXWSACX pre-draft: jon biddle spent much of the pre-draft period with the intent of tabbing shelly goodpastor for his squad. however, there was plenty of intent but not enough initiative, and biddle piddled around long enough for mclelland and nespor to swoop in and swipe the league's premiere leadoff hitter out from under his nose. after the dissapointment of losing shelly, biddle had to decide between kip corbett and billy weisberg, both of whom were animate about signing with biddle. kip was choses, a slightly less talented player that billy (not knocking his abilities in any way), but an overall better fit. pick 8: no suprise here as biddle took the sundance to his butch in ben "big whitey" elliott. used sparingly as a memeber of the vcm last year, ben has things to prove to the league, and more importantly, ted gilliland. look for ben to have an all-star season, and if he does, this pick could be one of the best in the draft. pick 9: back to back picks allowed biddle to get two players he wanted in elliott and jason betts. 3 selections, 3 smokers, 3 great guys who can play and will show up. pick 20: billy picciotto goes in round 3 to xdeathx, giving them even more depth. perhaps the most talented rookie in the draft, picciotto could be an all-star. but talk is that the he's a bit off a hothead and might not adjust well to the sbl's style. that, of course, being making fun of people till they cry, humping, and humping some more. pick 21: dank elly goes at 21, possibly the first bad move made by biddle. he seems like a good enough guy, he smokes, and he can probably play a little ball, but everyone who knew this kid was already on the team. he could have gone a few rounds later. pick 27: ween farmartino, still a fan fave depsite snubbing the league all of last season, give biddle a hot high school chick with experience and a deadly middle homer shot. it's a miracle she was around this late. big bonus points for getting the weenises namesake here. pick 32: anne carine, just to get a court. 2 hot high school girls in a row for xdeathx. pick 38: big pants jesus? when you're happy with your team and want to make people laugh, why not? pick 46: sean hood will be happy to know he went 43 picks later this season that last and a full 8 picks after b.p.j. despite his backstabbing-induced split from the sbl last season, it's rumored he could return this year. unfortunately, he's more in buffet-busting shape than baseketball shape, and the chance of him getting punk'd down if he shows up say he probably won't be around. grade: B- while there aren't any picks that i seriously question (big timers early, amusing players late), i just can't help but look at this draft and feel uneasy. betts, elliott and kip give biddle exactly 4 players that can honeslty be counted on to show up week in and week out ready to play. the rest of his draft is either unproven or seemigly done with baseketball. to put it simply, if this were pj & the ladies, i'd give them an A. if you want to win and draft this team, you |
| THE SERBIAN JEW DOUBLE BLUFFS pre- draft: matt mclellands double bluffs got off to a good start by signing myself, then continued rolling by throwing it's first three draft picks at pj nespor for shelly goodpastor. the trio of goodpastor, tomko and mac give this team three players who should all bat around .600 for the year, rendering the draft nearly meaningless in terms of finding top-notch players. going in without a pick in the first four rounds but needing only a few holes to fill, the SJDB's draft went as follows: pick 23: addam stainbrook, a terrific defensive player with some issues at the plate, was the top choice of mcclelland. while he intends on going to the military this summer, his plans hinder on him graduating from high school. a source close to the situation says this is unlikely. if he's around, the double bluffs will be as solid on defense as the are on offense. pick 30: jon olsavsky, a former player of the year, was a fabulous choice at this juncture. while he is moving to virginia within the nest few days, nothing is ever certain with catdaddy. as he put it when asked about his playing this season, "stranger things have happened". picks 35, 37, 39: a trifecta of basketball playin' high school girls in kara dolci, aryn christman and katie kelley. while only freshman, all three have crazy basketball skills that had them starting on sharon's high school team. while it's been proven that basketball players don't always make baseketball players and high school girls are very hit or miss, the fact that these girls are acquaintances of both goodpastor and myself make them nice selections here. pick 41: danielle hennon, a better than you'd expect honey intricate ties to the sbl's top brass would be a solid 4th player on most teams. she's a 9th player on this team, showing just how deep they really are. pick 43: tony merolillo of the esenwein faction goes to the bluffs with their final pick. a fireplug of 16 year old with whom i've developed a nice athletic repoire with thanks to many backyard football games gives this team another good 3-level player to plug into it's offense. grade: A this team was built with one purpose: winning. mclelland, myself, shelly and jon o are arguably 4 of the top 5 players in the league. while we won't be on the court at the same time due to salary cap restricitons, having one come off the bench to fill in without missing a beat is nice, especially since i'm almost guranteed to miss games due to work, jon is sketchy at best, and shelly has proven she's good for no more that 2/3's of an sbl season. the league should be collectively bitch-slapped for letting jon fall to 30. hennon and the high school triad give this team the fly honey flava that all sbl teams should strive for, and merolillo and stainbrook are great athletes who, if nothing else, will be the third men in on defense to compliment matt and i. if a downside to this draft could be pointed out, it's that 6 of the 7 players taken have either never played or there's a distinct possibility they won't be able to play. but when you only need one out of 6 to show up to give you what on paper seems to be the best team in the sbl, you can let that fact slide. |
| 2004 TEAM BY TEAM DRAFT RECAP |