| first-annual challenge match "you fucked my cuzzin: big rando vs. big whitey" august 15, 2004 ass clown outdoor arena special stipulation: losing captain gets his head shaved TEAM BIG RANDO 3 TEAM BEN ELLIOTT 2 with a chance to both win the game for his team and save his lucious, flowing locks of hair with one shot, ben elliott watched his middle homer attempt miss badly, then grabbed a smoke and sat quietly in a chair at mid-court ad his hair was removed by sbl president nate tomko, sbl assistant to the traveling secretary matt mcclelland and winning captain big rando knight. though his team was, on paper, inferior to the opposition, master strategist big whitey was able to keep his squad in the game through a series of brilliant and breathtaking maneuvers.... ah, hell, who am i kidding? battyani's only hit of the game was a solo homer, and cassie pyle and sean hood just happened to drop through their only double of the game in the same inning. team rando, meanwhile, wasn't fairing much better. kassy brown (yes, kassy brown) and rando hit back-to-back solo shots in the third, and for most of the game that looked to be enough. luckily for the entire crowd on hand, team elliott got a few lucky scores to make it interesting, albeit low-scoring. when team big rando needed runs late in the game, they got a spark in the form of pj nespor, who showed up just in time to aid his ladies teammate. he tipped in a big double play in the eighth, then drove home knight in the top of the ninth for the winning run. for team rando, the big man himself was tops with 4 hits in 11 at-bats with a double play. cassie pyle collected 3 hits for team big/white. BACK |