pvr2005b

18) ARYN CHRISTMAN (28)- another in the long line of underused serbian jew double bluffs that will likely see a significant increase in playing time in 2005, aryn should continue to be the best defensive female in the league. (7 d.p.'s last season, previous record for a chica: 1) in addition to her stellar game down low, aryn hit for .525 last year, good for second among all sbl rooks.
      PJ NESPOR (28)- oddly, rod thunder had always had a problem with his attendance, logging only 13 games played last season, an interesting number for someone so closely tied to the league. while he's a decent player capable of going off every now and again for a big game, he certainly can't afford to miss that many games in a season if he expects to be a perrenial all-star as he should. at any rate, if he's not a captain there's no frieaking way he'll go later than 10 in any draft ever, cause everyone loves him.
20) JAMIE MOROCO (27.5)- it's hard to figure out if jamie is slipping as the years go by, or is it just the league continuing to improve as she maintains her steady course? once an all-star who seemed destined to reach the upper echilon of sbl glory, jamie now often finds herself a role player, a situation she surely can't be happy with. it's probable her 2004 surroundings had a negative effect on her game and, given the right teammates, could return to her former "deadeye" self and become one of the best leadoff hitters in the game once again.
21) LENNY CRIST (27)- the hooked one put together his finest overall season by far in 2004, recording career highs in homers (12), runs batted in (39) and psyche-outs (12), as well as a .319 average, well above his career mark. his problems with the league brass seem to be behind him, and after getting a taste of what a good season is last year, look for crist to want more in '05. or, he'll just dick around all year. either way.
22) KIP CORBETT (26.5)- kip apparantly forgot how to request off work on sunday afternoons last year, but as a player used to seeing 9 innings a game who was suddenly used sparingly, that's not really a surprise. though he did make the all-star game by cracking a weak sharon roster, 2004 was definately the worst of kip's 3 seasons in the league. rumor has it the pasty one may not be around all that often this summer. personally, i don't want to see one of the great players of our time go out on a poor season, so here's hoping he returns.
      PAT LACKEY (26.5)- maybe my system is flawed, but this seems way too low for a player of pat's calibur. i'll look into tweaking this bad boy next season. *UPDATE* pat has recently informed the sbl offices that he will be maintaining residence in pittsburgh this summer, but he planned on returning on the weekends for baseketball.
24) BEN "BIG WHITEY" ELLIOTT (26)- 2003 season: ben is seldom used, but shows no real talent when he does get into games as a mamber of the v.c.m. 2004 season: injuries hamper ben all year, but once again, he shows nothing of note when he does play. 2004 fall classic: ben becomes a man possessed, as if his body became inhabited by the spirits of trey and matt themselves. was his performance in the classic just one extremely lucky day, or has ben finally broken out as we've always expected? hmmm...
25) TED GILLILAND (25.5)- teddy ballgame may be one of the most underrated players in the league. he's capable of shooting from anywhere on the court, but relies to heavily on stat-padding homers. should ted ever wise up and move in (and mellow out a little, everyone loves the big guy except, it seems, the big guy), he could finally get the perrenial all-star recognition that he deserves. maybe being relieved of the burden of captaining a team in 2005 will help him a bit.
26) SETH SALCEDO (25)- never before has someone so captured the hearts of the sbl like seth salcedo. while his game features nothing spectacular, he has the ability to knock down the short shots, scrum his little head off, and provide his team with a motivational spark when needed. of course, he does remind me of a rookie dennis lackey, and we all saw how he went from loveable to loveable and real f'ing awesome in one year.
    LEE NESPOR (25)- last season, the former home run derby champion did what you'd expect a former home run derby champion to do. he shot a ton of homers and finished 8th in the league in that category, but had one of the lowest averages in the sbl (.282). in addition to his subpar average, lee trailed off big time as the season progressed. his 30 rbi had him in the fourth spot in the league as late as week six, but after accumulating only 11 more in his final 8 games, finished in the middle of the pack. for lee to be at his most effective, his outside shot has to be falling, which unfortunately didn't happen nearly enough to make him an all-star.
28) JASON BETTS (24)- coming off a very solid 2003 campaign, expectations were high for j.betts as a member of xdeathx last year. unfortunately, betts got lost in the smoker shuffle and saw little playing time, eventually culminating in his mid-postseason series switching of teams. given enough of a chance to get into rythym, betts can be a decent player. but how many teams are willing to risk dropping a few games to get him rolling?
29) MIKE DEVITO (23.5)- one of only a few rookies currently slated to play in 2005, little is known about devito. except that nate schooled him 4 straight in basketball a few months back for 10 bucks. boo-ya!
30) CHRIS MCLAUGHLIN (23)- the only remaining member of a once-proud baseketball family, mighty mouse has the skills to pay the bills. but at best, he's good for ten games. and if he isn't on the same team as ted, does anyone really know him well enough to invite him?
     STUD FRANKOVICH (23)- as far as enthusiasm for the game goes, uncle stud has few equals in the sbl. he has been frequently spotted at the quaker steak and lube chewing the fat with sbl pres tomko about the game we all love, but for some reason the big man only found his way to a handful of games last season. obviously, he's a big gamble, but as pj & the ladies proved last year in their upset over short bus in the playoffs, he can change the entire complexion of a game. without a doubt, someone will roll the dice on one of the elite players in the biz.
32) ANDY ESENWEIN (22.5)- after his bait-n-switch-n-switch with the league over the past few seasons that left two seperate teams to an untimely death, it's unlikely the former all-star would have maintained his lofty draft status (1 and 2 in the past two seasons) in 2005, and it's almost certain he won't be more than a last-round pickup since his recent "leaving for the army in june" announcement.
      ADAM MAURICE FABIAN (22.5)- fabes, as he's been known to go by, has extremely close ties to most of the league's elite and has suited up in 3 of the four seasons. his 2004 campaign never got off the ground, as he spent the entire summer living in state college and probably molesting little boys. but this year, he's back (or at least a lot closer, living in new castle or something) and should find his way to a few more games. anyone willing to acquire fabes will get a solid kip corbett-type player and an immediate rivalry with pj & the ladies.
34) STEVE MENTREK (22)- the sex machine has repeatedly been a top pick in drafts, essenitally going on his personality and/or his 2002 season. unfortunately for thos who pick him, he can hardly be counted on. career lowlights include never suiting up in '01 and '04, and leaving his milf hunter team to smoke the tweed in 2003. however, if you can get him to come to games and stay on sundays, he is a two-time player of the year finalist.
35) GREG LACKEY (21.5)- no-name lackey has yet to step from the shadowof his older siblings, but it should be noted that his rookie year was, statistically, superior to either dennis' or pat's. greg did show improvement as the year progressed, culminating in bucketing a game-winning homer to upset hoosier daddy in the final game of the season. of course, he did get stuffed real fucking hard by mikey chang to put his team out of the playoffs, but the call was debateable, so we'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
36) JUSTIN SHAFFER (21)- fred may be the ultimate wild card. no one, perhaps including himself, no what his plans are for this summer, and few, if any, are better on the baseketball court. since his player of the year finalist season in 2002, shaffer has suited up for less than a quarter of his team's games, and i can't imagine anything more frusturating than having your best player living in atlanta.
37) DANIELLE HENNON (20.5)- she's hott, and if her dickhead boyfriend would let her play a little more, she could probably be pretty decent.
      JASON BIDDLE (20.5)- rumour has it that jason, pissed about being bumped from the nickname "bidd" by his younger brother, is looking to prove who the best bidd is on the basketball court this summer. should jason suit up, we could see the best brother vs. brother, offense vs. defense, hobbit foot vs. black lung season-long slugfest ever.
39) ALI SZABO (20)- has she ever given any indication that she has the slightest interest in playing baseketball? well, no. but let's just assume that she can't stay away, what with b.f.f. erin hayden (hopefully) playing. the chick is smokin', and let's not forget she was higher on the sharon high school depth chart than either shelley goodpastor, katie kelley or aryn christman. besides, she once crossed me up worse than anyone's ever crossed me up in my entire life, and i play basketball with billy all the time.
40) MARK TARKANICK (19.5)- he's here merely because he's a pretty sweet player and there's a chance he'll show up. it may be 1 in a trillion, but there's a chance.
      KATIE BURGER (19.5)- the loveable burger was m.i.a. more often than not last season, and she's repeatedly said she had a good reason for not coming. personally i believe her, and i think if she ended up on a team surrounded by the right players, she'd be there more often than not. if she does come, burger's not bad as far as the ladies go, with decent range that extends as far out as the triple line.

YOU'VE COME THIS FAR, WHY STOP NOW?