bdchamppbgrts

THE BIG DANCE
championship

2 SEED) THE RATCHET THUNDER STUDS (2002)
5 SEED) THE PINK BANDANA GIRLS (2002)

LINEUPS:
RTS                                  PBG
1- shelley goodpastor      1- jason biddle
2- nate tomko                  2- justin shaffer
3- mark tarkanick            3- jared clayton
4- sam lynn                     4- sean hood
B- mikey moroco

PINK BANDANA GIRLS 18
RATCHET THUNDER STUDS 17
in what has to go down as one of the strangest occurances in the history of competitive baseketball, the pink bandana girls finally got revenge on their long-time nemesis the ratchet thunder studs thanks to the outside interference of the manchild ted gilliland.
clinging to a one-run lead and facing a streaking thunder stud team with runners on second and third with one out, the girls benefited greatly when former teammate gilliland (who never actually suited up for the p.b.g. in the 2002 season) stormed the ass clown outdoor arena court and, as if inspired by stone cold steve austin, assaulted sbl president nate tomko with a steel folding chair as he took what could have been the tournament-winning double. as the ball was about to leave tomko's fingertips, gilliland connected with a running chair shot to the back of his head. the force of the blow sent the attempt hard off the backboard, and as the rest of the competitors stood, mouths agape at the beast who had leveled their president, jared clayton came to and tipped in an uncontested double play. as tomko's comatose body slumped to the concrete, gilliland was mobbed by the rest of the thunder stud lineup as the pink bandana girls erupted into euphorious celebration.
referee billy weisberg, never quick with the whistle, was unable to make a call as gilliland was not actually a member of the bandana girl roster, though he was dressed in only a pink thong and earmuffs. unwilling to call an interference penalty against the p.b.g, who were playing on the thunder stud home court, weisberg had no choice but to let the play stand and award the contest to the girls.
the game started innocently enough, with tomko besting longtime rival sean hood in a one-on-one scrum to gain home team advantage. the first inning was dominated by the defenses, as neither team surrendered a single base hit.
the p.b.g. got their first taste of offense in the top of the second inning. clayton led off the frame with a triple, and captain sean hood drove him in with a single. shaffer and biddle followed hood's lead, both knocking down singles to load the bases for deep threat clayton, but jared's shot came up short and went back in for a double play off tomko's hands. the girls were able to get two more out of the inning, however, as hood banked in a middle double just before biddle's miss ended the 2nd.
trailing by 3, the studs quickly and efficiantly got the runs back and then some. tarkanick got the ball rolling with a leadoff double, and lynn drove him in with a middle triple. goodpastor knocked her first hit of the contest, a right double, and tomko kept the run going with a middle homer to give the r.t.s a 4-3 lead. following a pair of missed by tark and captain lynn, goodpastor plated herself with a solo homer before tomko miss ended the stud 2nd.
the two powerhouse teams exchanged the lead once more in each of the next two innings. the pbg got a pair of runs to take a 5-4 lead in the top of the 3rd when justin "fred" shaffer plated both hood and biddle with a 2-out 3-bagger. the studs responded with a 2-run mark tarkanick homer to make the score 6-5 in their favor.
the 4th frame started ominously for the pbg, as hood was double played in his first shot of the inning by mark tarkanick. the girls were still able to muster 2 more runs, however, as clayton came through with a big double to drive home biddle and shaffer. the studs, meanwhile, kept up their end of the bargain, matching the p.b.g. run output via back-to-back solo jobs by tomko and tarkanick.
with the studs holding an 8-7 lead, the fifth inning saw the first real offensive explosion. the bandana girls, highlighted by a pair of longballs from shaffer, went on an 8-hit tear to start the stanza. when a tomko double play finally stifled the rally, the studs found their one-run lead to be a 5-run hole.
not content to allow team pink to run away with the game, the black shirts brought in offensive playmaker mikey moroco for sam lynn to provide some quick offense. he payed dividends immediatly, connecting on 2 base hits in the inning and driving in a pair of runs as the studs closed the gap to 13-11.
tomko and clayton each tallied their 3rd double plays of the game in the 6th inning, but the pbg were able to add another score when biddle brought home hood with a 1-out double. the r.t.s defense continued into the top of the seventh, clamping down to hold the girls after leadoff singles by hood and biddle.
trailing by 3, the studs used the seventh-inning stretch to talk strategy. deciding to go short, they received three straight singles from tomko, tarkanick and moroco before goodpastor cleared the bases with a three-run triple. though tomko and tark would miss in succession, the second going up for a shaffer d.p., the damage to the pink lady lead had been done as the score was knotted at 14.
the bandana girls looked discouraged after giving up their late lead, and it showed as sean hood and jason biddle missed chip-shot singles. however, the thunder stud defense, which had been so solid all tournament, finally let someone sneak in the back door, and miscommunication between tomko and tark resulted in both shots falling between the two and no double plays. clayton would make the studs pay, putting through his own triple miss for a self-assist that would start a 4-run rally in which all members of the p.b.g would record an rbi.
the thunder studs offense sagged as much as it's defense, going down 1-2-3 in the home portion of the 8th.
onto the ninth the pink bandana girls went, looking to deliver the knockout blow to the team that had dominated them in the sbl championship 3 years ago. biddle and shaffer reached base for clayton, who looked to all but seal the game with a middle homer. the studs, however, finally got a break when mikey moroco finally got someone with the "running man" psyche out, and clayton's miss was tipped in for a tarkanick double play. hood looked to pick up clayton's slack, but his homer attempt was well short and the studs headed to the bottom of the ninth with momentum swinging in their favor but still down by an 18-14 count.
as gilliland lay in wait behind a very large clump of bushes, the stud offense got to work on grasping vicory from the hands of defeat. moroco started off the inning with a middle triple, and goodpastor scored him with a triple to make the score 18-15. a tomko double plated goodpastor and brought the studs to within 2, but tarkanick botched a homer that would have tied the game up. fortunately, he followed his shot and was able to swat clayton's double play attempt from behind to prevent any further damage. unfazed, the studs got a single from moroco, then a double from goodpastor to score tomko, carry the studs to the 18-17 mark, and bring up tomko with only 1 out.
it was then that gilliland, like a coiled rattlesnake, sprung into action. at a full jaunt, he brushed past the security force, dumped scorekeeper ween farmartino out of her chair, picked up the sitting device, and launched his attack on tomko.

as the melee died down and gilliland was being taken away by current sbl sergeant of arms ben elliott, he gave the following quote to reporters:
"no team of mine has ever won anything in this shithole league, and it's all because of nate tomko. whether by physical skill on the court or from behind his fancy presidential desk, that cockass has done nothing but screw me for the past 4 years. but today (pause for effect)... today i have my revenge."
later that evening, gilliland was broken out of sbl jail by a militant faction who called themselves "those who feel teddy ballgame is right and the sbl is run by and oppressive dictator whose done nothing but shit on us for years", who, oddly enough, were dressed in masks and pj & the ladies uniforms. coincidentally, no member of pj & the ladies could be reached for contact, though pj nespor's mom said he had stolen his father's tools and sped off with rando and lenny.

as far as stats went in the mythical big dance championship, the p.b.g were led by fred shaffer, who turned in an 8 for 12, 2 homer, 6 rbi, 3 double play performance. clayton added 4 rbi and 3 double plays, while both hood and biddle drove in 4. biddle was high man on his team with a 9-hit outing.
the studs were paced by shelley goodpastor's 9-hit, 1 homer, 7 rbi line. tomko and tarkanick posted nearly identical 2 homer, 4 double play games with tomko besting tark's 3 rbi perfoarmance by 1. moroco added a pair of ribbies off the bench.

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