| JUST SOME STUFF so we're 4 weeks into the baseketball season, and nobody other than pj & the ladies has offered up a court to play at. essentially, that means everyone else in the sbl sucks. and i'm not joking about that. fuck you all. anyway, i haven't put any sort of articles up for a while (mostly because every free second is spent looking for a court to play at) so i decided i'd do one up today. (have i mentioned that someone else in this league needs to step up and offer a place to play?) |
| WHAT THE ALL-STAR TEAMS WOULD LOOK LIKE IF THE SEASON ENDED TODAY: |
| SHARON -nate tomko, pj & the ladies even if he wasn't the main force on the ladies sudden 6-2 record and dominance of the american conference after 4 seasons of cellar-dwelling, he'd be a runaway pick for the captain of his 5th consecutive all-star team because he's once again crushing the rest of the league statistically. -shelley goodpastor, uncle jed's pocket watch even though her team is playing well below itself at the moment, none of this can be blamed on shelley, as she has been as solid as a rock all year long. she's currently second in the sbl in average and has collected 23 runs batted in, most of which she's accululated by knocking in herself. -terry shernisky, return of the weenises after a relatively slow start that far from lived up to the unreasonable hype surrounding young shernisky in his rookie season, he's come on strong over the last couple weeks. he currently sits at fifth in the league with a .606 average and second with 28 double plays, but his value to the weenises is probably unmatched by any other player in the league. without him, team ween is probably winless. -jon olsavsky, analisa goodthing jon o is well on his way to his fifth straight all-star appearance. he's currently on pace to destroy his previous bests in batting average, runs batted in and assists, which isn't too shabby considering he was a first-ballot sbl hall of famer. on top of that, he's been the most reliable performer on analisa goodthing, who currently hold the third best record in the league. -katie kelly, train on terry shernisky with some of the former sharon regulars having down seasons and katie seeing more playing time than she did last year, this could be the first time we see an all-star not named shelley goodpastor since 2001. her .691 average is third best in the league, a nice compliment to her 25 rbi and 2 homers. -rando knight, pj & the ladies even though one could argue that both rando's brother jeff and lee nespor are having better seasons statistically, american conference-leading pj&l need a second all-star. big rando has outplayed billy weisberg and outattended pj nespor to give him the nod over his facist-fighting teammates. |
| THE WORLD pat o'mahoney, team koopa troopa it's a shame that, considering the way i feel about freeloaders right, pat probably won't make it to the end of the season. as of now, he's the best choice for world captain. he's leading non-sharon players in double plays and assists, and is right in the thick of things in all offensive categories. sure, in a vote of the players, matt mcclelland would probably win, but o'mahoney is beating him in nearly every statistical category. as of now, he's the man. elysa farrell, analisa goodthing in spite of getting booed every time she steps up to bat, elysa is once again putting up huge offensive nuimbers. she's batting .660, good for 9th in the league, and her 35 rbi are second best. and now that she's started tipping in d.p.'s, look out. greg lackey, the fupalooters like brother dennis before him, greg has chosen his second sbl campaign as his time to shine. he practically carried his overrated team through the first 3 weeks of the season, being the only player on the ugly blue worth his salt despite jon biddle's insistance on drafting only former all-stars. his .588 average is second in the league. matt mcclelland, team koopa troopa the reigning player of the year should make his third all-star appearance in three tries if he continues to play the way he has in 2005. after picking up the slack dropped by worthless captain bryan frankovich in the second week, mac has his team atop the sbl at 7-1. as always, he's also atop the league in average and one of the best all-around players in the game. ben smith, train on terry shernisky mr. smith has seriously altered his game since being labeled as one-dimensional after last season's homerfest. he still sits at third in the league with 9 in that category, but he's added some serious defense and a much-needed short game to keep his team hovering around .500 while working with one of the weaker rosters in the league. ben elliott, analisa goodthing the world team is seriously so close that statistically, not much seperates the best player from the tenth best. why not reward big whitey, who has put together one of the nicest rosters in the league while refraining from underhanded ploys and ringers, by giving him his first all-star spot in his third and, by far best, season? |
| CAPTAINS THE OTHER STARTERS THE BENCH |
| so what would the sbl all-star teams look like if the voting were to take place today. something like this, if the sbl president were the only one voting. (and he probably should be to get things right) |
| THE BAILEY WATCH: which sbl supersquares are looking to head out to transfer and dig up the worlds nastiest strip artist for some least valuable lovin'? -jamie fabian, jukebox hero jamie went 2 for 8 (including one assist by teammate jeff knight) last week and actually improved his average to .182. ugh. -jimmy holl, jukebox hero based on his play so far this season, one game, mr. holl is on a pace to bat .000 with 0 rbi. -kip corbett, uncle jed's pocket watch kips' average usually sits at about .500. this year, he's batting .283 from the spot directly behind shelley goodpastor. talk about an oppurtunity squandered. -billy weisberg, pj & the ladies after being stuck on one horrendous team after another for the better part of his baseketball career, billy has finally been blessed with a team not only capable of, but favored to win it all. his response? the worst season of his life. -ben smith, train on terry shernisky sure, i've currently got him as an all-star, but homeboy has 2 more dumb things than games played. he's gotta be considered based on that alone. |