| 2003 SBL TOP FIVES every week during the sbl season, sbl president nate tomko will give his top fives in a number of categories. this is the list of the top fives as of week 5. updated june 20. TOP 5 TEAMS BASED ON CURRENT LEVEL OF PLAY 1-milf hunters (9-1): at what point are we going to stop saying "the milf hunters aren't really this good"? at the halfway point of the season, the hunters have a 2-game lead on their nearest competitor, and have a higher winning percentage than either of the past two champs, the naacp and the ratchet thunder studs. winning close games and winning without their full team keep this team firmly at number one. 2- gonads & strife (7-3): after stumbling in week 4 without shelly goodpastor and andy esenwein, the gonads bounced back in a big way in week 5, pulling off a late-inning win against the heroes and snapping the 4-game winning streak of pj & the ladies to remind the hunters they won't be running away with the league. 3- pj & the ladies (4-6): the streak may be over, but let's face it: we all knew they weren't gonna win out. besides, losing to gonads & strife without the package isn't really that shocking. good news is, all the ladies have found their game, and they now seem to be among the league's elite after fagging their way thru the first 3 weeks. 4- transexual heartbreakers (4-6): is it me, or the homer-or-nothing heartbreakers the least intimidating team in the league? 5- vice city miracles (5-5): yeah, you're probably right. the 5-5 miracles are probably less intimidating. they'd be off the list had it not been for a 7-homerun showing by jon biddle against the heroes last week. TOP 5 PLAYERS 1- nate tomko, gonads & strife: may not be dominating every category as he has in years passed, but still kills in the most important category in the league, batting average. and after nailing 8 homers last week, has climbed to second behind only jared clayton in that category. still the top overall player in the game. 2- jared clayton, transexual heartbreakers: 20 homers...wow. 42 double plays...wow. .358 batting average...egad! shoot something besides homers, man!. 3- kip corbett, milf hunters: the only thing harder than being the best player on yout team is being the beat player on your team when your team is real good. kip does that by being the most consistent milf hunter, and on a team with steve mentrek and mark tarkanick, that's saying something. 4- mark tarkanick, milf hunters: another solid all-around milf hunter right near the top in almost every stat category. except games played, which is why he's sitting at 4th and not 2nd, perhaps even first. 5T- jon olsavsky, pj & the ladies: 5T- big rando knight, pj & the ladies: these two brought pj & co. from league laughing stock back to league powerhouse. their season stats aren't as nice as the other 4 on this list, but their stats over the last 3 weeks are just as good, if not better. besides, any time a team has that sort of turnaround, you gotta give credit to it's stars, no matter how humble they are. TOP 5 ROOKIES 1- jon biddle, vice city miracles: i called it last week that jon would hit 7 straight homers and break the record. yeah, right. nobody saw that once coming. now that biddles kid brother has offense to go with his d, he's gotta be frontrunner for rookie of the year. 2- brian frankovich, weenises strike back: may not be as great as he was early this year, but is still the most consistent of the rookies, batting nearly .500 with 29 rbi and 13 dp's. if he can refrain from the dumb things virus he caught thru sexual contact with mikey moroco, he may regain his spot at #1. 3- chris mclaughlin, team lunchbox hero: .507 average, 20 runs batted in, 11 double plays.... alright, who stole frankovich's stats? 4- matt mcclelland, vice city miracles: quick! who's second in the league in assists? damn straight my boy mac got it. it make sense when, with a .484 average, he's on base nearly half the time. 5- danielle hennon, gonads & strife: sorry, andrew heasely. she's hotter than you and sitting right next to me. TOP FIVE MOMENTS 1- jon biddle sinks 7 straight homers against lunchbox hero in week 5 2- nate tomko's (gonads & strife) errant triple attempt caroms off the face of lenny crist (pj & the ladies) in week 1, inciting hilarity 3T- big rando knight of pj & the ladies trips ween farmartino of the weenises within the first second of the first scrum of the first game of the year 3T- the cowardly milf hunters attack jared clayton in week 2 in the bottom of the ninth inning and the game tied, then use their get out of jail free card to keep mark tarkanick out of the penalty box. the hunter go on to win the game. 4- nate tomko of gonads & strife throws the mother of all bitch fits, week 2, as he sits out, suspended from incident #2. ted gilliland momentarily loses his sight 5- joel leptak emerges with the words "nat tokmo got no balls" written across the front of his shirt, week 2 TOP FIVE FANS 1- connie moroco 2- mr. mclaughlin 3- ted's sister 4- roxy the dog 5- gary swogger's girlfriend 2003 HOME |