INTERVIEW WITH TERRY HALL OF THE SCREAMIN' SEAGULLS

1. How do you feel about your current cold streak?
Obviously not very good, although I’ve never been a prolific shooter, I’m not as bad as I am currently doing. I think I just need to get my confidence up hit some shots and it will come. Besides batting is just a numbers game ill eventually get back close to my career average and besides if I remember correctly didn’t the same streak shooting mishaps happen last year.

2. How do you feel about the Screaming Seagulls chances? Did you know it was a sex position?
No Comment. Ha, I know I’m breaking the first rule of speaking to the media about team affairs…BUUUUT…I in the currently cannot my team a vote of confidence. We have lots of holes, leadoff hitter, depth, attendance, rotation, a second defender, poor overall team batting. Although we do some things well, namely psyche-outs (come on Lenny/Lee tandem), being awesome, and having a jovial, fun, team spirit. I cannot point the finger at Lee its not his fault, nor the brain trust of baseketball aficionados who chose the teams (though, I feel my team was to be doomed with inconsistency from the start look at the roster and imagine if I didn’t show up… not to mention HALL OF FAMERS Jon and Shelly I think that’s too many question marks for one team, but that’s just me.) but I’m calling out my absent teammates on lack of dedication, though it maybe justified why you aren’t here its hurting the brown and tan and we would love to see you sporting it. Anyways, I think the upcoming weeks will tell a lot about the Gulls. I think we can be competitive but we need someone, to come in bat and play defense at a high level (Shelly, Jon respectively) or we need to do it via free agency or trades, or even get some of the latter draft picks to show up (Question: why did Ando show up week one and play for Jukebox? He batted .500 granted it was on at bats but that’s better than what Derek, Lenny, Lee and I could produce and if anyone say the game we could have used the decent batting.). Oh and on final note I am completely committed to the SS so although interest around the league for my services probably wasn’t high I’ll now make it zero.
No, I had no idea. Why would one do or want to do such a thing? Stop wasting my time next question.

3. Compare yourself to a famous athlete.
Jackie Robinson .Is that what you wanted to hear… (Actually, I was hoping you'd say Terell Owens) Side note I do believe I should be a shoo-in for ever all star game and enter the hall of fame in my first year of eligibility due to being the first minority to be any good and have staying power in the league. even as a second tier SBL superstar I think I deserve it. Another side note, I’ve heard rumor of a black dude before me who played one game and was then banned because he was stereotypically good. Racists…I bet Greg Lackey told him to go. I would compare myself to any energy player, you know the guys who don’t score but do all the intangibles that make them very valuable to there teams, Bruce Bowen, Anderson Varejo, Jeff Garcia, Kirby Puckett. I scrum, play D boxing out (or attempting to) some of the better assist and dp players in the league. Not to mention, I try to get a couple if my own dp’s once in a while.

4. Who is gayer: Mikey or Brian?
Tough… it depends on how one defines gay. But if I had to pick it defiantly go with John O of PJ&L.

5. What is the most important SBL stat.
This might be a shocker to some but it’s the often overlooked, Games Played, in my opinion. Last year if Katie Kelly, Jon Olsvasky, and myself included would have showed up to more games we would have all made serious pushes to be on the Sharon All Star Team. The likes of Terry Shernisky and Aryan Cristman could have increased their chances at taking home a POTY award. I noticed I named the three starters for Team Wet Dream…in retrospect maybe I’m glad they didn’t show up more often. As they would have been THAT much more dominant. By the way, HUGE FAN of the newly implemented style points I hope it not a gimmick and its here to stay. People with ugly releases/tendencies should get –1 every time they bat i.e. Greg Lackey..

6. How does it feel to have an agent? Why Pat Nespor?
What do you think? Its great! Mr. Nespor is an SBL vet and has a lot of experience in the league (more than he’s given credit for!). He was there when I was practicing to make it to the major leagues, he taught me the game, I even lived with him for a short period of time. Moreover he is a good guy, unassuming but cutthroat and he knows how to negotiate a deal (why do you think I’m still with the Gulls). Bottom line Pat Nespor is a class act.

7. What happened to the afro?
I know, I know. But simply put its pretty hot imagine wearing a big, puffy, heat trapingly suffocating, top hat. I already sweat like crazy plus hair, plus humidity, that’s not a good equation.

8. What was your favorite SBL moment?
I can’t choose between Condo getting stomped out or the time I got too awesome at Big Ted’s house. Condo got a little more than he could chew with an ass beating after some comments about fly-fishing or something… I think this stands out because it was my first baseketball game. I had just gotten there and mayhem ensued I mean I hadent even gotten all the way to Billy’s house and I see Nate in the face of some dude. After everyone has told me be nice to Nate…I mean it got pretty real, good first impression, ehhh, Nate? At Ted’s house I happened to disagree with a call so strongly that I decided it would be a good idea to strip the ball from Terry Shernisky proceed to punt it into the wooded area, tackle a unsuspecting Sherry, scream at him and finish him off with hosing as well as the court making sure I got all the lines. I was rewarded with some hefty penalty minutes and I’m pretty sure someone was not happy about making new lines. I think I had a pretty good rookie year, but ill leave the choice up to the fans. In fact it should be the topic of this weeks poll.

9. Who is your favorite SBL personality?
I can’t just name one but I can that’s why we have Top 8. Myspace knows that not 1 or even 7 people can go down as your “absolut favz”. So my list is as follows:

1) TERRY SHERNISKY- my namesake and SBL hero
2) Matt McClelland- hero
3) Lenny Crist
4) Ben Smith
5) Katie Kelly- yessssssssssssssss!
6) Mike Morroco
7) Gavin St. John- ROTY and the cutest ever
8) Jamie Fabian- Impossible to hate him
Everyone else can choke, especially you, BATTYANI!

10. Is there really beef between you and Racist Greg Lackey.
Out of respect to Pat and Dennis (the better Lackeys) I won’t comment. I’m not one to cause waves, everyone makes mistakes and this is America and we forgive here. But somehow I think it would be fitting for Mr. Lackey to be traded to one of the other racist organizations in the SBL namely the Sparkling Wiggles or Nappy Headed Hoes.

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