| WEEK 4, SEASON 3 JUNE 8 CUMFIESTA FIELDHOUSE THE WEENISES STRIKE BACK 4 GONADS & STRIFE 0 playing against the lowely weenises without two of the domes from the three-headed monster? no sweat for gonads & strife, who entered the contest on a five-game winning streak, whilst los weenises had dropped 4-straight. or so was the thought. the gonads were unable to advance a runner past second base, much less across the plate in a shocking setback to a very game weenis squad. without shelly goodpastor's incredible on-base percentage and andy esenwein's barrage of homers, G&S looked lost, despite a 6 of 7, three double play game from nate tomko. the rest of captain tomko's team combined to shoot a miserable 2 for 21. for the weenises, three straight hits from pat lackey, bill weisberg and ween farmartino expanded their one-run lead to a 4-zip bulge heading into the bottom of the ninth, and a huge double play by weisberg and a dumb thing by lee nespor sealed the deal and snapped both streaks. weisberg finished with 4 double plays and 2 runs batted in, while jamie moroco went 3-of-8 and pat lackey snapped out of the fog with a 3 for 3 performance off the bench. the weenises raised their record to 3-4 with the win. VICE CITY MIRACLES 6 PJ & THE LADIES 9 a 5-run half-inning in the top of the 4th put the miracles up by six, and based on past games, everyone fully expected the ladies to end the athleticism and begin the retardation in the face of a defecit as insurmountable as 6 runs. but these aren't your father's pj & the ladies. led by namesake pj "rod thunder" nespor's high flying theatrics, the ladies stormed back with a barrage of runs in the next two innings while cranking up the d and holding the miracles to 4 hits over the final 5 innings. nespor finsihed with a pair of rbi on 7 of 14 shooting with an assist and a double play, while jon olsvasky, who has seemingly remembered how to play, hit in 7 of 13 at-bats, drove in 6, and had one each in the assist, psyche-out, dp, and dumb thing categories. jon biddle kept the game close for the losers, hitting safely in half of his 10 appearances and tipping in 2 double plays. PJ & THE LADIES 5 TEAM LUNCHBOX HERO 4 could he ladies notch an improbably 3rd straight win after opening the season with 5 straight losses? you bet your sweet ass they could, this time stealing a one-run victory from the clutches of the suddenly incompetent heroes on an 8th inning double by (get this) joel leptak. lepak's hit brought home pj nespor, and in the bottom of the ninth, andrew heasely, who had torched the ladies all game, missed a 2-out solo homer attempt as a sea of red stormed the court to celebrate the ladies rise back into the ranks of the elite. for the back-to-back victors, pj nespor remained red-hot, draining 5 of nine shots with 4 runs batted in and a pair od dp's, while lenny crist hit safely in 3 of his 6 at-bats. for TLH, heasely finished with3 rbi on 2 homers and 7 for 10 shooting. MILF HUNTERS 9 TRANSEXUAL HEARTBREAKERS 19 milf hunter captain kip corbett's 4 week jawing session about how great his team was came to an abrupt halt at the hands of his arch-rival jared clayton and the transexual heartbreakers thanks to a 10-run thrashing/humbling/bitch slapping. the heartbreakers hit the court hot, crossing the dish 6 times in the first after limiting the hunters to a mere 2-runs. the hunters, obviously not accustomed to playign catch-up, seemed out of their game for the rest of the affair, and barely dodged the humiliation of a 12-run mercy on a couple of occasions. clayton led his team's offensive onslaught with an sbl record-tying 14 runs batted in on 8 of 14 shotting which included 4 homers. defensively, clayton tipped in 2 double plays. elysa farrell wrecked the hunters by hitting 10 of her 14 attempts, and mark metro came up big with runner's on, driving home 4. for the hunters, steve mentrek hit 8 of 15 shots and turned 3 double plays, while mark satanic drove in 5, 2 of which occured in the form of a second inning homer. VICE CITY MIRACLES 5 GONADS & STRIFE 3 the miracles became the second team in week 4 to take their frustrations out on a weakened gonad squad, and by doing so pulled themselves within a game of the orange crush for the american conference lead. matt mcclelland was a monster for VCM, missing only once in 9 shots, driving home 2, and turning a couple double plays. jon biddle was his usual self on the boards, tipping in 3 dp's and an assist, but was very un jon biddle-like on the offensive side of the ball, hitting 4 of 7 shots, bringing home 3 runs, and drilling a 3rd inning homer. for G&S, nate tomko carried the load, hitting in 6 of 9 at-bats, collecting an assist and 3 double plays. lee nespor slid into the starting role nicely, batting after tomko and collecting 4 hits and a dp. gonads & strife dropped their second staright loss and fell to 5-3, while the VCM evened their slate at 4-4. MILF HUNTERS 12 LUNCHBOX HERO 3 coming off their first loss of the season, the hunters quickly got refocused and back on track, taking the heroes behind the shed for a 9-run thumping in a pivotal national conference encounter. kip corbett regained his form, hitting 6 of 10 shots and knocking in 5 to go with his assist, while steve mentrek turned a pair of double plays and mark tarkanick brought in 4 on a pair of 2-run homers. for the heroes, losers of 3 straight, tim mclaughlin turned 3 double plays and drove home one. with the loss, the heroes fell behind pj & the ladies for the final playoff spot. on the other side, the milf hunters took a 2-game lead over gonads & strife for the sbl's best record at 7-1. WEENISES STRIKE BACK 2 TRANSEXUAL HEARTBREAKERS 12 once again, the transexual heartbreakers made short work of a solid sbl team, this time blowing away the weenises, who had earlier held another high-scoring offense to 0 runs. once again, jared clayton led the way for his team, hitting safely 6 times, driving in 8, and swishing thru 3 homeruns. once again, clayton tipped in 5 double plays, to raise his sbl-lead to 32 in that category. once again, elysa farrell and mark metro were solid role players, both reaching safely 5 times. once again, jamie moroco was top dawg for her...err, ween's, weenises, collectin 4 hits and an rbi, while jew bagel dunked home 3 double plays. with the win, the heartbreakers forced a 4-way tie for fourth place AND last in the league, and gave the sbl the parity it has been striving for since inception. the THB, weenises, heroes and ladies are all knotted at 3-5. BACK |