| sbl 2003, week 3 june 1, middlesex county jail TRANSEXUAL HEARTBREAKERS 5 TEAM LUNCHBOX HERO 9 andrew heasely, in his sbl debut, hit on 7 of his 10 shots to put his team back above .500 in a crucial national conference contest against the heartbreakers. lollipop mclaughlin was clutch as always for the heroes draining 6 of 9 for 4 rbi and a big 3-run homer in the bottom of the 4th, while timmy mclaughlin led his team defensively with a pair of double plays. for the heartbreakers, who dropped to 1-4 with the loss, mark metro went 4 for 9 with 3 of his team's rbi. in the field, jared clayton tipped in 5 double plays. WEENISES STRIKE BACK 8 MILF HUNTERS 9 (11 INNINGS) with his team trailing by one with 2 outs in the bottom of the 11th, milf hunter captain kip corbett calmly swished thru a 2-run homer to keep his team among the ranks of the undefeated and send the weenises to their 3rd straight defeat. after trailing by as many as five early in the contest, the weenises rallied to knot the score at 6 at the end of regulation. in the extra stanza, the weenises were able to put two runs onto the board, but a bonehead call for a brian frankavich grand slam attempt was made by billy weisberg. the shot sailed over the backboard, the weenises failed to bring home the runner on second, and the series of events leading up to corbett's heroics were set in motion. for the hunters (5-0) kip finished 7 for 11 with three rbi, while steve mentrek drove in 4 on 4 of 10 marksmanship. the the weenises, jamie moroco continues her stellar play, nailing 9 of 12 and bringing home 3, billy weisberg drove in 4 and tipped in a dp, and brian frankavich turned a trifecta of double plays. PJ & THE LADIES 5 GONADS & STRIFE 13 the gonads reeled off their 4th straight win to keep pace with the milf hunters by exploding for 6 runs in both the second and fifth innings while holding the ladies scoreless until well after the game had been decided. for the victors, nate tomko turned in a 7 of 9, 1 homer, 1 assist, 3 psyche-out, 4 double play line, and shelly goodshooter drilled 6 of her 9 attempts and brought in 2. lee nespor added another late inning psyche-out to notch his 3rd save of the year. for the winless wonders, jon shelavsky hit a pair of homers and drove in 3 and large rando knight tipped in 4 double plays and an assist. lady jenn gavala came for a change, which was nice, but she didn't really do anything. 'cept get her punk-ass psyched-out! side note- the ball rolled in poo water before the game, but nobody seemed to mind VICE CITY MIRACLES 8 WEENISES STRIKE BACK 5 oh, weenises. jamie moroco and billy weisberg tabbed identical 4 for 9, 2 rbi, 1 double play lines, but it wasn't enough to overcome the return of fred and biddle, as team vice city held off a futile late run by the yellow to secure their 3rd win of the campaign. fred shaffer, seeing his first sbl action since the sbl holiday classic, came through in a big way for the miracles. and by big way, i mean 4 double play, 3 runs batted in big. not to be outdone was the mussolini to shaffer's hitler, jason "j-bidd" biddle, who in limited action hit 13 homers, drove in 87, and tipped in 45 double plays* (*-stats are disputed). also for the miracles, jon biddle learned how to shoot and nailed 5 of 9 shots while tipping in a double play and an assist and andy "stop calling me gay" mclaughlin drove home 3 on 4 for 9 batting. PJ & THE LADIES 9 TRANSEXUAL HEARTBREAKERS 2 in spite of jared clayton's record-tying 8 double play performance and the abscence of the package from their lineup, pj & the ladies were finally...FINALLY...able to get their first when of the season. and look out now bitches, cause the floodgates...they're a-open. jonathan augratin led the red horde with a phenomenal 5 of 10, 3 homer, 7 rbi, 2 double play nite, while bigga knight nailed a solo homer in the 3rd and dropped home a pair of double plays. in addition to his record tying defensive game, clayton tipped in an assists and drove in both of his team's scores. with the win, the ladies actually climbed out fo the sbl cellar at (1-5), and the heartbreakers, at the same record, fell in on tiebreaker points. GONADS & STRIFE 19 TEAM LUNCHBOX HERO 11 once again, the gonds looked nearly invincible in rattling of their 5th consecutive win in convincing fashion. after leading by a lone run at the end of 3, g&s caught fire, scoring 13 runs over the next 3 innings to leave lunchbox (3-3) picking dust from their teeth. the winners were once again led by the 1-2 punch of goodpastor and tomko, who collaborated for a 20 for 25, 14 rbi line. tomko also tipped in 6 double plays and an assist, whilst andy esenwein bounced back from an off game with a 2 homer, 5 rbi performance. for lunchbox hero, who played pretty damn good themselves, all three hitters (heasely, tim and chris mclaughlin) recorded 6 hits, with tim nailing 2 homers, bringin home 6 runs, and turnng a double play and an assist. gonads & strife went to 5-1 with the win, 2 games ahead of vice city in the american and a half-game behind the milf hunters for the sbl's best record. VICE CITY MIRACLES 10 MILF HUNTERS 13 once again, the milf hunters were able to overcome a strong team without the services of their best player, as mark titanic was still unaccounted for and assumed dead, probably from a gunshot wound to the face. the milf hunters used a balnaced attack and timely hitting, plus a shitload of lucky to pull off the biggest win of their big-win season. jason betts collected 4 hits, steve mentrek 3 hit, a dp and 5 runs batted in, and sami lynn and kip corbett each notched 6 hits and 4 runs batted in. but more importantly, the milf hunters exemplified what baseketball is all about...teamwork! for vice city, ted gilliland hit a monsterous 2-run homer to cap a 7-run 7th, but a steve mentrek double play followed by a jason biddle airball grand slam in the 9th led to the vice city demise. matt mcclelland drove home 4 and had an assist, while jason biddle brought in 3. gilliland finsihed with 3 runs batted in and a double play. with the loss, vice city continued the win one-lose one trend and evened their slate at 3-3. the milf hunters remained undefeated and now hold a commanding 3-game lead over their closest competition in the national league. 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