| sbl 2003 week 2 (5.25) hoffa centre the battle for the plastic hubcap TEAM LUNCHBOX HEROES 13 VICE CITY MIRACLES 10 lunchbox hero scored their first win of the young season by pulling off the major upset. led by newcomer chris mclaughlin (10 of 13, 1 homerun, 1 double play, 4 runs batted in) and seasoned veteren jason betts (8 of 13, 8 rbi), the heroes rallied from 8 down after 2 innings by scoring 4, 5 and 3 runs in succession from the 3rd till 5th stanzas while holding the miracles to two runs from that point on. tim mclaughlin, who left with the plastic hubcap after defeating his arch-nemises ted gilliland in their initial meeting of the year, added 6 hits and a crucial psyche-out to aid his team's cause. for the miracles, jon biddle once again provided the defense, tipping in 5 double plays. matt mcclellan and andy mclaughlin each contributed 5 hits, with one of andy's being a 2-run shot in the miracles big second inning. TRANSEXUAL HEARTBREAKERS 18 MILF HUNTERS 19 (11 INNINGS) milf hunter captain kip corbett brought home steve mentrek in the bottom of the 11th with a no-out triple to keep his team in the ranks of the unbeaten. in a game whcih saw 6 lead changes and 12 total homers, the heartbreakers looked to be in control until the hunters crossed the plate 6 times in the bottom of the 8th, sparked by back to back homers by sam lynn and steve mentrek. lynn came off the bench in a huge way for the struggling jason betts, hitting on 5 of nine shots and driving in 6. corbett nailed 8 shots and drove in 4, while mark satanic added 8 base hits and drove home 5. tark, kip and the sex machine evenly divided 9 double plays. for the heartbreakers, jared clayton and kurt rodemoyer continues to rain homers, each tallied 4 long balls. clayton tipped in 3 dp's and brought home 7 runs, while rodemoyer collected 6 rbi. the game looked to be in the clutches of the heartbreakers when, in the top of the ninth, jared clayton was unceremoniously attacked by mark tarkanick. following a brief brawl in which the head of security was apparantly picking his ass, tark was expelled from the game and clayton was dealt a one-inning penalty for fighting back. however, the hunters used one of their get-out-of-jail-free cards, and their star player was able to remain in the contest. without clayton, the heartbreakers failed to score, forcing overtime. the milf hunters made a mockery of the game and befouled our sport more than even pj & the ladies ever have. this will go down as one of the biggest black eyes in the history of sport. screw the pete rose gambling incident, screw the black sox scandal, screw the french figure skating judge. GONADS & STRIFE 20 THE WEENISES STRIKE BACK 12 with both team's star players unable to participate (nate tomko of g&s was serving a one-game suspension while billy weisberg was probably tied to a bed and being spanked in some tropical climate), gonads & strife showed they were less reliant on their big gun with a convincing 8-run defeat of the combined team of the weenises and the referees. though the gonads were repeatedly ass-bonked by incompetent reffing and mikey moroco's inability to keep his feet behind the line he was shooting from, the return of shelly goodpastor allowed for the orange horde to perservere. goodpastor hit on 7 of 12 attempts, including a homer, while driving in 5. andy esenwein dropped in 4 homers and brought in 9 runs while adding a dp and a pair of psyche-outs, but perhaps the biggest gamer for g&s was lee nespor, who came off the bench to hit 3 of 4 shots with a homer and 3 runs batted in. for the weenises, jamie morococ and brain frankovich split 16 base hits, with frankavich hitting a homer andd riving in 7. both tipped in a pair od double plays. VICE CITY MIRACLES 12 PJ & THE LADIES 0 (6 innings) vice city bounced back from their humbling loss to lunchbox hero by taking pj & co. behind the woodshed for a good ol' fashioned ass whuppin'. even newly added lady jon olsavsky couldn't stop the miracles, who scored 5 runs in the top half of the 6th to put the icing on the beat-down cake, from having their way with the sbl's premiere franchise. for the victors, matt mcclellan drove home 4 runs on 6 of 9 marksmanship, while jon biddle parlayed a plethora of pj & the ladies misses into a trifecta of double plays. ted gilliland hit on half of his 8 shots abd drove in 4. for pj & the ladies...ugh. TRANSEXUAL HEARTBREAKERS 1 GONADS & STRIFE 14 (6 innings) nate tomko's solo homer to lead off the bottom of the 6th put the gonads into the win column for the second time of the week. or at least it appeared that way, as a scoring error allowed tomko to take the final homer, even though the game should have been called before the bottom of the 6th could start. nevertheless, the heartbreakers showed that when they can't hit homers, they have no chance of winning. aside from kurt rodemoyers solo shot to lead off the third, the HB couldn't coerce one of thier hail of homers to fall thru, and the ever-scoring G&S'ers ran away with a 13 run victory. for gonads & strife, tomko finished the game with 3 homers on 5 of 8 shooting with 4 double plays, an assist and 6 runs batted in. andy esenwein collected a pair of dp's and drove in 3, while sean hood was held hitless in his only at-bat of the game, a first for the sbl legend. clayton tipped in 3 dp's to lead his team defensively. TEAM LUNCHBOX HEROES 19 THE WEENISES STRIKE BACK 17 how these teams combined to score 36 runs is a mystery to me. with ween farmartino unable to attend because of anal bleeding, jamie moroco was given the reigns of the weenis stallion once again...and boy did she blow it. in a "duh" moment, moroco allowed transexual heartbreaker captain/one-dimenesional superstar jared clayton to be added to the hero roster for the game, and paid for it in a big way. inside, clayton had his way with his much smaller opponents for much of the game, tipping in an assist and 3 double plays while limiting the weenises to a lone double play. offensively, the heartbreakers were led by jason betts, who drove in 10 runs and psyched-out 2, while tim mclaughlin hit on 12 of 18 asttempts with 5 rbi. for the weenises, brain frankovich hit 9 of 16 shots including 2 homers with 5 rbi, while jamie and mikey moroco posted identical 8 for 16, 6 rbi lines. mikey moroco didn't let his fans downs, contributing 2 dumb things to the hero cause. the weenises dumped both their games this week, falling to 2-2, while lunchbox heroes sudden 2-game winning streak has them in position for the playoffs at 2-2 with a tiebreaker on the weenises. PJ & THE LADIES 5 MILF HUNTERS 11 once again, the team in the league with the most experience and the arguabley most talent showed themselves to be butt sod. pure, unadulterated butt sod. playing a weakened milf hunter lineup that was missing the sex machine, the ladies decided not to make any of their shots again, and pad for it with a 6 run drubbing by the red-hot milf hunters(4-0) the hunters were led by mark mechanic's 5 of 10, 4 homer, 7 rbi, 2 double play showing, while samantha lynn added 6 hits. for the winless pj&l, jon olsavsky began warming up, hitting a pair of solo homers late in the game, but it was all for not as only joel lepak managed to get on base consistently, hitting in 5 of his 9 at-bats. BACK |