| SBL 2003 WEEK 1, 5.18.03 HOFFA CENTRE PJ & THE LADIES 1 WEENISES STRIKE BACK 17 (4 INNINGS) pj & the ladies season began just as many had expected; with a humbling, embarassing showing for the ladies that resulted in the game being called in the 4th inning to put an end to the retardation. after falling behind 3-0 at the end of the first, the ladies looked to catch up as lenny crist led off the second with a double. the next three ladies, however, went down in order, and the rout was on. the the bottom of the 4th saw the weenises score 14 runs on only one out. (a brian frankovich dumb thing in the second at-bat of the inning) highlighted by back-to-back-to-back homers by weisberg, ween and newcomer frankovich, the weenises cleared the board once and were well on their way to doing so again when the ladies got their wish as the game was called whgen team captain rando knight, immediately after being given his teams final warning, attempted to swat the shot of weenis coach ween farmartino. like his team, rando failed, but the attempt alone was enough for the whistle to be blown. the weenises were led by jamie moroco's 6 for 7, 3 rbi line. also contributing to the cause were brian frankovich (5-7, 6 rbi, 1 homer) ween (4-6, 5 rbi, 1 homer) and billy weisberg, (4-7, 3 rbi, 1 homer, 2 dp, 1 asst). for pj and the ladiespj nespor hit 2 of his 4 shots, including a solo homer in the top of the third. TEAM LUNCHBOX HERO 13 MILF HUNTERS 14 once again the mighty milf hunters were given a scare by the low-expectation heroes. as in the holiday classic, the underdogs leapt out to an early lead, but were undable to hold on to it as the hunters scored 9 in the bottom of the fourth, then tacked on 4 more in the fifth to take a commanding 14-6 lead. while TLH fought back with a 5-run ninth on the strength of a conventional tim mclaughlin grand salami, the milf hunters were able to overcome. leading the explosive milf hunter attack was steve mentrek, who turned in a 4 for 10, 6 rbi, 2 homer, 2 double play line. reigning rookie of the year mark tarkanick hit on 6 of his ten shots from the leadoff position, driving in 4. for the heroes, rookie andy mclaughlin looked impressive in his sbl debut, hitting 6 of 14 attempts with 2 homers, 6 rbi and 2 double plays. tim mclaughlin finished with 6 rbi, while josh flynn hit on half of his 14 shots. VICE CITY MIRACLES 6 TRANSEXUAL HEARTBREAKERS 4 in a back-and-forth defensive battle, sarah allan's mental error on jon olsavsky's 2-run homer attempt in the visitor half of the 3rd proved critical. tho jon missed his shot, allan was over the line on her psyche-out attempt, and the homerun was ruled good. for the heartbreakers, erin leyde stroked a pair of homers and finished with 3 rbi and a pair of double plays. coach jared clayton also added 3 dp's and a solo shot, and showed that his team would reflect his style of play...shoot many homers. for the victorious vice city miracles, olsavsky was credited with a psyche-out and a dp, as well as 3 runs batted in. much talked about rookie jon biddle turned 3 dp's defensively, but it was obvious he was no jason biddle on the offensive side of the ball. matt mcclellan was the high man for the vcm with 4 hits on 9 attempts. GONADS & STRIFE 14 MILF HUNTERS 21 following the rather inept offensive performance by the two teams in the previous game, the tubbietronic superdrome nets got hot as what are arguabley the two best teams in the sbl faced off in the first of what promises to be many high-scoring affairs this season. the hunters were able to hold off a late charge by GNS, and finished with a convincing 7-run win. for the victors, mark tarkanick turned in an inhuman 7 for 11, 11 rbi, 4 homer, 2 dounle play line. not to be outdone were kip corbett and his 8 of 11 marksmanship with 4 dp's and steve "the sex machine" mentrek, who hit a pair of homers, drove in 4, and assisted a corbett miss. for gonads & strife, andy esenwein led the way with 4 homers and nie runs batted in, while nate tomko garnered 7 hits, 4 double plays and a 7th-inning assist on an 3-run esenwein homer. sean hood added a solo shot in the 4th. VICE CITY MIRACLES 1 WEENISES STRIKE BACK 8 the weenises once again looked impressive, having their way with the much larger miracles throughout the game. tho jon biddle finished with 5 dp's, billy weisberg and brian frankovich battled the v.c. trees inside, preventing any rally-killing double plays or even one assist. the hot early-seaon shooting of rookie frankovich continued as he poured in 6 of 8 shots for 3 rbi. weisberg nailed half of his 8 shots and drove in 3, while jamie moroco hit on 3 of nine and pulled a psyche-out from her ass. for the 1-1 miracles, ted gilliland hit on 3 of 8 attempts, and matt mclellan drove in the lone run. TEAM LUNCHBOX HERO 2 TRANSEXUAL HEARTBREAKERS 10 after starting the season off hot by scoring 13 runs in a loss to the milf hunters, the heroes cooled off in a big way. conversely, the heartbeakers began heating up late in game two after beginning the seaon in a somewhat perplexing slump, scoring 6 runs over the final two innings to secure the win. erin leyde continued to look like a female jared clayton, launching homers in nearly every at-bat. leyde finished with 4 4-baggers and 5 runs batted in. hurt rodemoyer made his sbl debut, driving home the other 5 heartbreaker runs while nailing 3 longballs. rodemoyer also tipped in 4 dp's. for the heroes, the lone highlite of the game was josh flynn's 2 run homer in the top of the 4th. PJ & THE LADIES 12 GONADS & STRIFE 14 in what was by far the craziest of week one's games, gonads and strife were ableto fend off an unheard of 9-run inning from pj & the ladies to grab their first victory of the season. aside from the improbable 7-straight shots made from the ladies in the 3rd inning, chaos reigned over the full nine innings. in the bottom of the fifth, as lady lenny crist attempted a psyche-out after being warned repetedly to remove his guitar from the playing area (ultimately costing his team 4 runs in the previous inning), he was knocked upside the melon with an errant nate tomko triple attempt. both benches cleared as lenny brandished his guitar like an axe, threatening to decapitate the league's president. after nearly 30 minutes, all but a handful of spectators had fled to the safety of their homes, and the game was concluded with a new ref, a new scorekeeper, and without the services of pj&l capatain big rando knight. statistically, nate tomko's 6 of 10, 6 rbi, 2 homer, 3 double play line led his team, while both adam stainbrook and andy esenwein nailed 2 homers and sean hood hit on 6 of his 10 shots attempts. stainbrook was also credited with 2 double plays. for pj & the ladies, big rando was probably better served by not returning to the game. he finished with 5 hits in 6 attempts, a homer, 3 runs batted in and a dumb thing. pj nespor drove in 8 on 5 of 12 shooting that included 3 homers, and on the defensive side of thr ball, tipped in a trifecta of double plays. crist was credited for the psyche-out which began the melee. 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