McClelland here, taking yet another look at the soap opera that is the SBL. Sorry about missing last week, but it was my last week only working one job so I figured I had better drink as much as humanly possible. Anyway, the season is moving along nicely. This week the teams will be ranked from who I think is the top rated team right this minute to well, Team Jukebox Hero.

1) Hoosier Daddy- Despite captaining the team that will occupy this spot at seasons end, I cannot rank the Double Bluffs higher than team K-Y. The fact is while the Double Bluffs have been beating up on the Jukebox Heros of the SBL, Frankovich and Company have been tackling the leagues best, beating The Double Bluffs, the all stars, andXsac in the young campaign. All this comes despite expected star Mark Titanic showing very little. The secret to the Daddy success: Fuzzy Hair Dennis Lackey. We all knew Brian “Grow 2 feet in a year” Frankovich was a talent, but before the season started, I ranked him as only second best Lackey, not a contender for Player of the year. Yes, Hoosier Daddy always seems to fit in the right pieces when their stars are gone, and as much as this former rookie of the year may hate to admit it, Brian Frankovich may be up for executive of the year. As for next week, I’m predicting that Tark and Mickey return from exile and put a hurting on Teddy’s All Stars. Later, Dennis Lackey’s 4 psyche outs of returning RBI machine Jarrod Clayton lead to another undefeated week for Hoosier Daddy.

2) The Serbian Jew Double Bluffs- The purple people eaters really came to play in week three and the best laid plans of Tomko and McClelland did not go awry as they had the first couple weeks. Having three HOF players in uniform on the same week made McClelland look good as a captain, but unfortunately didn’t give the Bluffs much playing time in week three. Tomko, as he would probably say, went bananas on his own court. McClelland, seemingly back in form from a broken toe, missed all of four shots. Shelly and Jon simply did what they’ve been doing for years, and the Double Bluffs may have regained some of the Imposing Aura that they had before the season. This does not even take into account the tremendous play of the Bluffs rookie cast otherwise known as Ben Smith and the hot high school girls. I’m not sure what’s worse, these girls being only 15 or the rookies not getting a chance to play 7 innings. The Bluffs, hopefully with all four stars still in tow, should have no problem beating up on the heroes again this week. The real challenge will be in Xsac, and the first meeting of last year’s rookie studs and fellow VCMs Matt McClelland and Jon Biddle. Rumor has it that McClelland is upset about being left off Jon Biddle’s preseason “World All Star” team. Look for both to be out to prove why they feel they should have been ROTY last year. The Double Bluffs pull this one out in a close one.

3) XdeathX- Quite possibly the best defensive team of the year, Xsac boosts a player who can literally average 7 double plays a game. When you have this, as well as the Kip Corbett, Ben Elliot, and a host of random ringers, you’re geared for success. Jon Biddle has had an excellent year on the defensive side, and has been known to heat up at the bat later in the year. This team has 3 of the top ten homerun hitters and the coolest uniforms out there. If J-Bidd can step it up at the plate, and figure out how to use all his great talent, this team will go much farther in the season than the VCM. Team XdeathX pulls of a big win against Donkey Punch, but comes up a bit short in it’s effort to derail the Double Bluffs.

4) Team Donkey Punch- This team has held together well despite being short a preseason pick to win player of the year in Jarrod Clayton. The females on this team have pretty much kept the team in every game, with cameos by Kunit and Scooter Lackey. Clayton coming back will give a big boost to this championship contender, but the only question mark is what Clayton can and can’t do, especially around the hoop. He certainly wont be the same Clayton who had three assists in week one. With both he and Jamie making returns in the very near future, there should be a spike in the offense of Donkey Punch, still Jarrod Clayton will not be at 100 percent, and will also face a Dennis Lackey psyche out flurry. Look for both Hoosier Daddy and Xsac to upend the fearsome foursome despite a big week for Featherhair Lackey.

5) Teddy’s Short Bus All Stars- This SBL season appears to showcase teams more talented than ever before, much to the chagrin of the Short Busers. The fact is that this team works hard, and is much better than their record would show. Any other year, this team would be competing for the championship. But, this season just doesn’t seem to be turning out quite the way Teddy Ballgame would have liked it. The bright spot for the team would have to be Jeff Polini, who is only adding to the list of great rookies that the Great Messiah has “pulled from his cavernous ass.” This team is capable of wrecking the week of all of the SBL teams and is dangerous….especially since I know that Ted has a few more aces in his hole. Billy and Company lose a couple nail biters to PJ and the Ladies and Hooiser Daddy, but get what they have been wanting all year in a domination of the Jukebox Heroes.

6) PJ and the Ladies- What can I say? This team is better than this. After the way the season has gone, the ladies are as hungry to win as Ted is at a Ponderosa buffet. All the players are solid, including rookie No name Lackey. What they haven’t done is put it together very often. This week, despite being minus their namesake, the hungry Ladies put it together, defeating both the All Stars and the Heroes.

7) Jukebox Heroes- I can’t believe I picked them to win 8! The only good thing I have to say about this team is the good looking girls who sometime put on the yellow gym class jersey.