| WILL THESE SURPRISES LAST? inspired by an espn.com article i read last nite, i've decided to go thru all of the shocking, befuddling, amazing, head-scratching, eyebrow-raising pink-sticking surprises that have occured during the first third of the sbl season. and, in sbl fashion, let you know whether you should expect them to last beyond this weekend. SURPRISE: the normally ice-veined shelly goodpastor is batting a meager (by her standards) .486. this marks the first time in her illustrious career shelly's batting average is below .500, and she's currently standing at 15th in the sbl in that category. WILL IT LAST: every player has off weeks. while shelly has had a reletively bad week 3 consecutive times, she still shows flashes of brilliance in games, and she's twice batted at least .700 in a game this season. obviously, she hasn't totally lost the ability to shoot, and we should all expect this stat to be above .500 by independence day, and for her to return to the top 5 in average by season's end. SURPRISE: of the 7 members of pj & the ladies to have played in games so far this season, only one (big rando) has found his way into the penalty box. and he's only done it once. WILL IT LAST: hell mutherfuckin no. write it down, call your mama, get a tattoo of it on your wrist. there is no way a pj & the ladies team goes an entire season without sending at least half it's roster to the sin bin, and most likely, they'll all end up there multiple times. there was one reason the ladies played so straight last week-- they needed a win. nobody wants to go down in history as a team worse than crackalakakalakan, and now that the ladies have managed their first win of the season, the tomfoolery gauge can be set on high again. SURPRISE: the rest of the sbl is looking up at hoosier daddy. WILL IT LAST: most likely not. while a full strength hoosier daddy--one featuring mark satanic, bryan frank, mikey chang and d.lack-- is as good as any team in the union, that is not the team most opponents will be seeing from here on out. tark might be good for 10 games this season, and without him, hoosier daddy is a very mediocre team. medicority isn't going to get it done, as no team with more than 15 wins has ever won an sbl regular season title. while frank and co. have done a good job of holding shit together for the last two weeks, i can't seem them continuing to hit timely shot after timely shot after timely shot AND catching every team seemingly at their worst. while it would be a dodgeball-esque story if this team could stay in first, the double bluffs and donkey punches of the league just have too much firepower for hoosier daddy to hold off forever. SURPRISE: speaking of hoosier daddy, dennis lackey is a man possessed WILL IT LAST: i'm gonna go out on a limb here and say yes. let's take a look at history: elysa farrell, role player on the weenises leaves, finally gets some real playing time, becomes an all-star and helps lead her team to an sbl championship and nearly wins playoff mvp. kip corbett, role player on the weenises leaves, finally gets some real playing time, and becomes one of the top 10 players in the sbl on both sides of the ball. dennis lackey, role player on the weenises leaves, finally gets some real playing time, and blows the league away in two of the first three weeks of this season. kip and elysa haven't slowed down since leaving that debacle of a franchise, so why expect dennis to? SURPRISE: jukebox hero, often playing with a roster as good person to person as the team they're playing, sits at a lowely 1-5. WILL IT LAST: unfortunately for my beloved girlfriend, yes. baseketball, unlike boxing, the luge and self-pleasure, is a team sport. while arevolving door of decent players can put their skills together and win every now and again, it requires a good team to win regularly. watch a jukebox hero game. two good defensive players who most likely have never played together will collide repeatedly while attempting a tip-in, and the ball will drop harmelessly to the ground. or 3 good triple shooters will burn up the three-baggers in the first three shots of the inning, then miss the closer shots that they've never had to shoot while playing for their respective teams. unless the heroes can construct a roster thats a little more regular than my grandma, they're gonna be chalking up a lot of L's no matter how good the individuals that suit up for them are. SURPRISE: jon biddle is not just atop the double play category, he's making the rest of the league his biotch. WILL IT LAST: yup. biddle's a freak. he seems to be 7 feet tall and can jump into the friggin' v-zone. and he's got a team full of people who get out of the way to let him get every double play. he's beating the second-closest d.p. man (billy weisberg, who has played in one more game than j.bidd) by 11 and is on pace for 100. and he's doubled the total of nate tomko, who's won the d.p. crown in each of the first three seasons. SURPRISE: billy weisberg's the third best offensive player. on his team. WILL IT LAST: no. billy's having his best season ever. it just so happens that lee nespor (27 rbi, 11 homers) and rookie phenom jeff pallini (.619 batting average, second in sbl) are playing way above themselves. while both are solid players, expect pallini's average to drop a bit as he gets more at bats, and lee's .293 average will eventually catch up to him and he should fall to the middle of the pack in runs batted in as the season progresses. if billy, notoriously a slow starter, continues to improve, he'll be recognized statistically as the best offensive player on the all-stars by mid-season. SURPRISE: brendan radcliffe, a nearly consensus pick for preseason rookie of the year, is butt. WILL IT LAST: while it's highly unlikely that radcliffe can turn things around enough to make a dent in the rookie of the year voting, it would be hard to say that his poor showing will last all season. he's the tallest player in the league that doesn't weigh 400 lbs., so he should be able to tip in double plays and drop in singles at will. when asked about his poor showing in week 2, the only week he's played, brendan replied by saying something along the lines of being nervous and not trying as hard as he would have liked due to rando's explanation of how pj & the ladies played the game. look for brendans stats to climb as he becomed more acclimated to sbl life. BACK |