The SBL Rulebook 2008

Overview of League
1. Cost to enter a team into the league is $50, to be in the hands of SBL president Tomko by week 1. Any team not paid in full will forfeit games until they're paid. All members of the team are expected to chip in. The money will be used by the SBL to purchase food, drinks, scorebooks, a hooker or two, and possibly some trophies or t-shirts
2. An SBL week may be cancelled for the following reasons:
  1. Sniper Shootings
  2. SARS Outbreak
  3. Star Trek Marathons
  4. Tsunamis
  5. Lightning
  6. Tornados
  7. Zombie crises
  8. Death of a league player
  9. Traficant emergency
  10. Attack by Canadians
  11. Anthrax scare
  12. Mysteries that need solved
  13. Rainbow Sheep Beach Outings
  Any other event that the BOD deems worthy of cancellation
3. The SBL regular season will consist of the same number of games for each team.
4. The teams will be divided into National and American conferences. Teams within the same conference will play each other more often, overall and conference record will be used for determining postseason seeding.
5. Games will be played on the courts of choice of the teams on an alternating basis. For example, week 1's games will be played at the home court of TEAM A, week 2 will be played at the home court of TEAM B
6. Each team must have a home court.
7. Each team must supply a bucket of chalk and line their own court in the official league style. Distances are not measured, but must be accepted by all of the players.
8. The home team chooses any and all music that will be played
9. Uniforms will be mandatory by week 2. Failure by a team to produce some form of uniform will result in said team forfeiting their games for the week.
10. Refreshments will be provided by teams on an alternating basis.
11. Any rule may be changed at any point in the season by the SBL brass' majority approval. In the case that an immediate decision must be made, the President has authority.
Rosters
1. Rosters may consist of any number of players.
2. Trading is allowed, but all trades must be approved by a majority of the SBL Board.
3. The trading/free agent acquisition date will be the 3/4-point of the season.
4. Waiver Priority: A captain cannot pick up a player post-draft, unless every other player has passed on them.
Reffing, Score Keeping, and Penalties.
1. Four impartial non-players will take on the roles of referee (2), score bookkeeper (1) and scoreboard keeper(1). Each team must have a few players capable of these duties.
2. The job of the ref is to call fouls, assess, and penalties at his discretion, check the ball, and keep the game moving along.
3. A third party will keep track of shots-taken on a dry-erase board and will alert the ref if the shooter is attempting a shot that has already been taken.
4. A player may consult with the person keeping track of the shot chart before attempting their shot.
5. The scorekeeper keeps track of outs, score, and keeps the book.
6. If a player is given a penalty, he may not be replaced; his/her team must play short-handed.
7. The penalized player will be put in the penalty box for a time determined by the ref.
8. When in the box, a player is out for every time he or she is up to bat.
9. Repeated fouls will result in dismissal from the game and possible dismissal from the league.
10. A foul called on the defense while a shot is in the air will result in an automatic make. An offensive foul will result in an automatic miss.
11. Hockey fighting is allowed as long as you are willing to accept the penalty. Feel free to pull someone's shirt up over his or her head and whack away. Hockey fights are to be one-on-one. Interference by another player will result in a 5-inning penalty, which may carry over to another game.
12. While a referee may call fouls for any reason and at his own discretion, be aware of the following:
  1. Encroachment on an attempted shot when attempting a psych-out
  2. Aggressive play
  3. Shooting a shot that has already been taken
  4. Smacking the arm/body of someone attempting a tip-in
  5. Swatting a shot (the Josh Robbs rule)
  6. Particularly annoying yelling by a player on or off the court
  7. Calling someone a flamer
  8. Nothing may be brought on the court that can hurt another player. For example, leave your guitar at home, you simple bastard.
13. Stats will be kept for the following categories:
  1. Double Plays
  2. Games Played
  3. At Bats
  4. Homeruns
  5. RBIs
  6. Batting Average
  7. Dumb Things
  8. Assists
  9. Psyche-Outs
Game Play
1. General
  1. Three players will be allowed to play at any time.
  2. A team may play with only 2 players.
  3. If a team must play with 2 players, a third person will be entered into the scorebook under the name "Will Williamson". Will is an automatic out each time he bats.
  4. Games are nine innings long, each team gets three outs per inning. Whichever team is leading after 9 full innings is the winner.
  5. Extra innings will be played until a winner is determined
  6. If a team is leading by 15 runs after 6 full innings, a mercy rule will be in effect and the game will be ended.
  7. A team may choose to add an extra hitter to their line-up. The extra hitter will bat, but not field. However, the opposing captain must approve the E. H.
  8. A team cannot pick up players on other teams to substitute absent players.
2. Subbing
  1. Substitutions may be made for any starter. However, the started may only come back in for the player that came in for him/her.
  2. Substitutes must play 2 full innings before being replaced.
  3. Once a non-starter is removed from a game, he or she may not re-enter.
  4. The extra hitter may be alternated into the defense at any time.
3. When at Bat
  1. Players must bat in the same order for the entire game.
  2. There will be 13 possible shots to choose from: 3 each of singles, doubles, triples and homeruns, and one grand slam.
  3. Each single may be shot once for a total of three, each double once for a total of three, etc. The grand slam may only be used once per team per game and counts for 4 runs no matter how many people are on base.
  4. The shots (minus the grand slam) reset at the end of each half-inning, or when a team has completed all of the available shots in a half-inning NOT including the grand slam.
  5. A single advances all runners one base, a double 2 bases, etc.
  6. A run will be awarded for each runner that crosses home.
  7. Failure to touch each base will result in an out. If the player who missed the base is tagged with the ball (throwing is ok) before he/she gets back.
  8. Shooting a shot that has already been taken will result in an out.
  9. If a shot is missed, the batter and any base runner may attempt to tip the ball in (see tipping in).
  10. Before shooting, the one at bat must check the ball with the referee. Failure to do so will result in an automatic out.
  11. Once the ball is checked, a player has 5 seconds to shoot. If the shot is not taken within 5 seconds, an out will be called. If the defense is not attempting to psyche-out the shooter, they may take more then 5 seconds.
4. In the Field
  1. A defensive player will be allowed to attempt to "psyche-out" the shooter
  2. A psyche out may involve anything except the following:
    1. Physical contact
    2. Any reference to the shooter being a homosexual
    Note: If the shooter happens to be homosexual then the rule applies in reverse. (the Rob Rule).
  3. The psyche-out must be made from behind the single line if the player is attempting a double, the triple line in the shooter is attempting a homer, and so on.
  4. A shooter should never have to alter his shot based on the position of the defender.
  5. Failure to comply with the rules will result in the referee issuing a penalty.
  6. A missed shot may be tipped in for a double play by all defenders (see tipping in).
5. Tipping In
  1. Any missed shot is a live ball that may be tipped in by either the offense or defense
  2. A player must be completely off the ground for the tip to count.
  3. The ball is dead after either 3 attempts to tip the ball in, when a player on the ground touches the ball, or when the ball touches the ground. The "no-pass" rule for players attempting tip-ins is no more. So let's see some alley-oops.
  4. The base runners and the shooter may attempt to tip the ball in for the offense. Any defensive player may attempt the tip in as well.
  5. Base runners may not leave the base until the ball leaves the shooter's hand.
  6. Big Rando has probably had sex with your mom.
  7. If the shooter or a base runner tips in the ball, an assist will be awarded and the attempted shot will be good.
  8. If a defensive player tips in the ball, a double play is called.
  9. No Dunking!
  10. THERE WILL BE PENALTIES FOR A PLAYER NOT ATTEMPTING TO MAKE A PLAY ON THE BALL BUT RATHER ANOTHER PERSON, OR MAKING AN ESPECIALLY HARD PLAY ON THE BALL. GET YOU'RE FUCKING AGGRESSION OUT DURING THE SCRUM. LIKE I SAID, HOCKEY FIGHTING IS ALLOWED. IF YOU TAKE OUT MY LEGS WHILE I'M IN THE AIR OR RUN OVER A GIRL LIKE A STAMPEDING MOOSE, GET READY TO PICK YOUR TEETH UP FROM THE DRIVEWAY.
Scrumming
1. Prior to each game, a scrum for the ball will take place to determine possession. Whichever team wins the scrum will get the choice of home team or visitor.
2. In the scrum, a ball will be placed on the ground and any number of player from each team will stand behind a line roughly 20 feet away. The object is to run to the ball on the ref's signal and get it back across the line while maintaining possession. Anything goes. Punches are allowed. Kicks are allowed. Pile drivers are allowed, but often frowned upon. Humping is preferred.
3. If one of the two teams wishes to scrum, and the other refuses, they forfeit the scrum. If both teams agree a paper/rock/scissors match may be substituted.
Playoffs
1. The #1 team from regular season has a bye to the finals. The other 6 teams will be seeded based on record (see Rule VI.2), with the opposite conference champion guaranteed a 1st round bye.
2. The #4 seed will play the #5 seed, winner moves on to #1 seed. The #3 seed will play the #6 seed, winner moves on to #2 seed.
3. All postseason series will be best 2 of 3.
4. The teams not making the playoffs will be responsible for all postseason party-planning and reffing/scorekeeping duties.
5. A player must play in half of his/her team’s games and 6 games by week 9 to be eligible for any postseason play or all-stars. Special exemptions can be granted (and usually are).
All-Stars, Player of the Year (POTY), Least Valuable Player (LVP)
1. Contribution to the league, overall level of play, attendance, and effort should be considered when voting for Player of the Year and all-stars.
2. Lack of the above should be considered when voting for the LVP.
3. All-star starters will be voted on by players and fans of the SBL.
4. All-star reserves will be voted on by the SBL brass.
5. Each team must have at least 1 player on it's respective all-star team (the Detroit Tigers clause).
6. The SBL brass will choose the Player of the Year finalists. From these finalists, the fans and players will vote on the Player of the Year. Same goes for the choosing of an LVP.
7. The league LVP will be forced to manually pleasure the league Player of the Year. The league Player of the Year may wish to return the favor, but is not obligated to do so. The LVP may, in some instances, be forced to get a lap dance from Bailey or a stripper of equal or lesser value (the Bailey Clause).