| 21) RAY CATALINE (26) last season: unranked- the defending rookie of the year pretty much won the award by default last season and will be looking to continue the tradtion of huge 2nd campaigns from roty winners. DANIELLE HENNON (26) last season: (25)- danielle slipped a bit from her big 2005 season, but seems ready for a rebound in the coming summer. a nice leadoff hitter, but don't expect muich beyond the middle double. 23) PJ NESPOR (25.5) last season: 30- phil pyle, due to his current residence in zelienople, is more of a 50% of the time guy now. he'll show up half the time, and he satisfies his wife in the sack about half the time. 24) LEE NESPOR (25) last season: 23.5- it's no big secret that lee likes the homer. but last season, lee also seemed to like making timely shots against the best competition, adding another interesting facet to one of the league's more interesting players. BEN ELLIOTT (25) last season: 31- a ho-hum season from the big white one last year was marred by inconsistency and, at times, unreliability. though the rankings may not indicate it, i expect big things from ben this year... perhaps a second all-star appearance is in the works? MIKE FRANKOVICH (25)- vastly improved from '05 to '06, the elder frankenbrother was voted as a national conference all-star, tho he unfortunately was unable to play in the game. mike certainly has the height to be a force down low, but really needs to improve his shooting if he wants to make it back to the all-star game. 27) PAT LACKEY (24.5) last season: 33.5- dropping nine full pvr points from last year can be contributed to one thing: the very real possibility of plackey taking an internship somewhere far, far away. like neptune. STEVEN RENEE CONDO (24.5) last season: unranked- steve is back from the army, and let's face it, doesn't do a whole lot. i'm sure he'll be around for baseketball on sundays, and he's not that bad of a player at all. in fact, a few years back, he was an all-star at the midpoint of the seasons after playing in the first four weeks. think real hard about picking him up... there's good and bad. 29) PATRICK NESPOR (24) last season: 23- as an unheralded member of the tsunami last year, nespor III played the part of leadoff hitter as best he could. he'll never be an all-star, but he's a good fit on any team, and can shoot anywhere from the homer in. 30) BILLY PICCIOTTO (23.5) last season: 29- last year i said in these same rankings that picc was an enigma and he may come to anywhere from 2 to 20 games. he came to zero, making him much less enigmatic this year. worth the risk, tho; he's got game. 31) ELYSA FARRELL (23) last season: unranked- elysa didn't play at all last year. she hangs out with us regularly enough (tonite, in fact), but for some reason she's never really been a baseketball regular. if she ever does come regularly, she'll be pushing aryn, katie and shelley for the "best bitch" award. 32) SETH SALCEDO (22) last season: unranked- sal hasn't been around since '04, and i'm pretty sure he was in utah or somewhere just as ridiculous (and to think... i'm a jazz fan). but word on the 'net is that sal will be back this year, bigger than ever! let's just hope he hasn't lost the energy that made him one of the league's funnest players in years past. 33) DEREK LOCKOVICH (21.5) last season: unranked- i said it last postseason, and i'll say it again: "when the hell did lockovich get good?" 34) LENNY CRIST (21) last season: 21.5- one of the original sbl 9, lenny embarks on his seventh quest for sbl greatness. as captain of jukebox hero for 2007, lenny really doesn't need to be picked for a team, but if someone rolls the dice on him, they're getting at least a dozen psyche-outs. 35) BIG ANDO KALL (20.5) last season: unranked- he's from pittsburgh somewhere, so he won't be up that often. which is a shame, because he's a fucking beast, but one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. JUSTIN SHAFFER (20) last season: unranked- fred always graces us with one showing a year, and he always does awesome and screws a team or two out of a win. a former player of the year finalist and all-star, shaffer is a must-draft for any team. 37) JEREMY BATTYANI (19.5) last season: 22- the rollercoaster ride that has been battyani's sbl career had one of it's downs last year, hence the dropping in the rankings, but the little guy has always seemed to bounce back big (by his standards) after an off year. TEDDY BALLGAME GILLILAND (19.5) last season: 21.5- the human homer mountain saddened the entire league by missing all of last year. i envision a few weeks with freshly returning teddy ballgame battling freshly returning seth salcedo in the coming summer, which should be worth the price of admission alone. 39) JABIDD (19) last season: unranked- the biddle that started it all, like his counterpart justin shaffer, can always be counted on to show up once or twice to rock the socks off the collective sbl. he's just a little lower in the rankings cause fred is a little better on the court. 40) JAMIE FABIAN (18.5) last season: 18.5- will jamie come every now and then and miss more shots than he makes? fer sure dude! will we all love having him around? oh fer sure dude! JON TAKASH (18.5) the second highest rookie on this list, takash has a few things going for him. first, he works at the lube with nate and rando, and that's been a pipeline for sbl talent for years (tarkanick, eicher, cataline). second, he's already won something i was running, the 2006 alcohol olympics. finally, he's tall but not a moron. we'll see how he works out. 42) CASSIE "THE ASSASSIN" PYLE (18) last season: unranked- miss or make her shots, at least we get to see a dance! as a side note, if you're a captainn looking for defense, cassie may not be your best option. but if you need badonkadonk... JOHN OFFUTT (18) last season: unranked- only seven at-bats last season, but he did have the sixth highest batting average in the league. if he can duplicate thst over a full year's worth of games, i'll but him ANOTHER blow job! 44) JASON JENNINGS (17.5) last season: unranked- if only jennings were as commited to baseketball as he is to hugging men. he's got all the tools: he's big and kinda clumsy, he's from punxsatawney, he's big and clumsy. what's not to love? 45) HEATHER KENDALL (17) last season: unranked- heather was at baseketball way more than she wasn't at baseketball last year, but only saw action in four games. and she had the same batting average as ben elliott and was almost 100 points better than lee nespor, so she could really help out a team in a pinch. 46) ERIN HAYDEN (16.5) last season: 19- erin kind of stopped showing up at the end of last season, but never really seemed like she was having any fun at all playing basketball this year. my gut tells me she's officially retired, but who knows. if she shows up with her heart in the game, she's ranked way higher than this. like 42. 47) KATIE BURGER (16) last season: unranked- an sbl legend in her own right, i think burger and elysa are joined at the hip. convince elysa to come, and we get burger. and that, my friends, is stellar. as far as playing goes, it's been a while, but i seem to remember burger being wicked-good from that middle triple. 48) MATT BATTYANI (15.5) the third and final rookie beotch to make the pvr top 50 will be absolutely, totally thrilled to find out he's three spots south of heather kendall. but hey, we've seen her play, and we haven't seen him play. given all the other similarities, i'm guessing mattyani is about the same player as battyani. 49) JIMMY HOLL (15) last season: unranked- after breaking free of the .000 batting average that was hanging over his head for twelve months, jimmy was a fairly regular sight at sbl venues last summer. to put it bluntly, there's absolutely no excuse for him being as bad as he is. it just doesn't make sense. 50) BRENDAN RADCLIFFE (14) last season: unranked- brendan wants back in the sbl after a three year hiatus for one reason. to knock off scott lewis, the mohawk-ed canuck (lifetime avaergae: .000) to become the most futile male batter in sbl history. brendan currently sits on a .053 average, so he'll not only need scott to show up and make a shot, but to miss quite a few himself. if that's something your team is interested in (i'm talking to you, rando), pick him up. that concludes the 2007 preseason player value rankings. if you're names not on th elist, it's probably for one of three reasons. either you're worse than brendan radcliffe, i'm convinved there's no chance of you showing up this year, or i don't know that you plan on participating in the sbl this summer. either way, feel free to prove me wrong. PRES2007 |