| 2006 SEASON WEEK ONE PICKS bukkake tsunami over cashdollar & associates without biddle, cashdollar just won't have enought to hang with big rando and his posse. i expect the one-two punch of danielle hennon and mikey change to put up runs early and grab a lead, but without their tree in the middle, the tsunami assault under the board will just be too much. from the fifth inning on, ben smith will find his homer stroke and team gang facial will win this one going away... we'll call it 16-9. the frankenbitches over jukebox hero even with new taskmaster dennis lackey at the helm, jukebox is gonna have a hard time answering the f'nnitches offensive fireworks. the good news for jukebox is that week one is generally laden with spectators, giving the 'box a deeper pool from which to pull some talent. however, this could also be viewed as a bad thing, as there are sure to be plently of talentless hacks there who we feel should get at least a few innings of honest to goodness sbl action. g.lack goes off from the one spot, bryan frankovich puts up 12 ribbies and tips in 6 double plays to kick of his player of the year finalist season, and the frankebitches win this one by at least a dozen. the frankenbitches over team wet dream everyones preseason darlings take a huge shot and crash back to earth after this extra-inning setback to the suddenly 2-0 frankenbitches. defense is the key here, as wet dream runs into a team with just as much stick as it swings. the trio of b.frank, jon o and glack outduel shernisky and his bedmates in the paint 10 double plays to 5, and all prove huge as a busted d.p. in the bottom of the tenth gives bryan frank an oppurtunity to drill a game-winning 2-run walk off shot. live sex celebration over bukkake tsunami the tsunami lucked out by catching a live sex team missing two starters in ben elliott and shelley goodpastor, but it won't matter when andy esenwein and nate tomko combine for 10 homers and 20 rbi in this hard fought battle with plenty of trash-talking. ben smith should see his week one homer total reach about 7 on the friendly rim of ass clown, and bukkake will keep it interesting through most of the contest, but neither rando, ben smith or plackey will be able to contain nate down low. team wet dream over the minori-team in a fight much closer than anyone expects, team wet dream will avoid dropping to an unbelieveable 0-2 on the year thanks to the late-game heroics of terry shernisky, who should finish the 20-17 win with 14 rbi. the duo of weisberg and mcclelland keep the minorities in it thanks to their stellar defense, but it's just hard to tip in double plays when the other team rarely misses. an unexpected offensive spark comes from erin hayden, who goes 8 for 10 in her captain debut, but a shernisky ninth-inning 3-run homer spells doom for the ethnics. live sex celebration over the minori-team live sex grabs first place in the american conference with it's second win of the week, this one a 17-11 win over a very gritty minori-team which face the toughest week one schedule of any squad. while tomko struggles to get anything done underneath thanks to the big mcclelland and speedy weisberg, he's aided by an ice-cold minori-team that seems shellshocked after LSC sprints to a 6-run lead after one. esenwein drops a dime of ribbies on hayden and co., and tomko flirts with 1.000 from the triple in. cashdollar & associates over jukebox hero even without all-american bidd, cashdollar has little problem dispatching of a very weak jukebox team by a 15-3 count. featuring 3 players who had never set foot on an sbl court, the heroes can't hang with mike moroco's barrage of runs-scoring doubles and the outstanding defense of rookie of the year frontrunner sweetwater cataline. the game ends in 6 much to the mercy of the yellow mesh. pres2006 |