sbl 2008, week 2

sunday, may 25

the k-y court at assbang fieldhouse

 

 

KYOTO KAMIKAZEES               13

OATCAKE HATE MONSTERS  14

  Even the return of hall of famer PJ Nespor was not enough to get the kamikazees their first win of the season, as Mikey Moroco’s charges lost a tough one-run game to the undefeated hate monsters.

  Matt Mcclelland made his debut for oatcake, and along with Shelley Goodpastor and Katie Kelly formed a 1-2-3 punch unlike anything seen in the sbl since the wet dream days of 2006.  The three former all-stars combined for 18 of their squads 21 hits, and drove in 12 of 14 runs.  Goodpastor led the way with a 7 for 10, 5 ribbie showing, while Mcclelland tipped in a pair of double plays.

  For the Kamikazees, who fell behind early and were never able to take the lead in spite of closing the gap to one on numerous occasions, Moroco hit on 7 of 11 attempts with a homer and 5 rbi and collected 5 double plays and a psyche out on the defensive side of the ball.  Chris Pacsi also drove in 5.

 

THE LASER CATS                                                                 35

THE QUEENS OF THE REST STOP REACHAROUND  30

  For the first time this season fellow 2007 player of the year finalists Terry Shernisky and Nate Tomko were playing good at the same time and the results were as expected: a dominating showing on the offensive side of the ball that finished in an impressive win over a very game opponent.

  Though the queens got huge games out of their big stars Bryan Frankovich and Aryn Christman and managed to take a 13-9 lead after the first 3 innings, the dead-on shooting of the games premiere players was just too much on this day, and Sherry and Tomko’s consistency from the field eventually wrestled the lead from the queens.  From there, the cats weathered a 9-run ninth that included a Frankovich grand slam to earn their third win of the season.

  Shernisky finished with 16 for 22 marksmanship with 4 homers, 16 rbi and an assist.  On the defensive side of the ball, Sherry tipped in a game-high 6 double plays.  Tomko was not far off with a 17 for 22, 3 homer, 12 rbi, 1 assist showing.  Bob Spohn connected on 13 shots and drove in 7.

  Frankovich finished with 21 rbi (good for second all-time) on 11 for 20 bank-shooting with 5 homers.  Christman banked home an incredible 18 of her 20 attempts and drove in 6.  John Davidson bounced the ball off the backboard and into the hoop 9 of the 19 times he tried.  The Queen defense was paced by Frankovich’s 5 double plays.

 

VOLTRON             12

JUKEBOX HERO  8 

  Billy Weisberg’s voltron squad became the third team in as many games to extend their record to 3-0, using some big early innings to take a lead on an overmatched jukebox hero squad and never looking back.

  After a Gavin St. John double drove in Derek Lockovich in the top of the first to give voltron an early lead, the game was broken open in the top of the second as 5 runs were plated by ‘tron thanks in large part to a 3-run St; John homer.  From there, the heroes just couldn’t get enough offense going to ever challenge their interconference rivals.

  St. John led the way for the victors, going 6 for 12 from the field with a homer, 4 ribbies and 4 double plays.  Billy Weisberg and Mike Frankovich each tallied 5 hits in 11 attempts, with the latter driving in 4.

  For jukebox, Brandon Gillshire hit 3 of his 7 shots with a homer and 5 runs batted in.  Both Terry Hall and Greg Lackey added a trio of hits.  Tara Shawley and Rob Whiting also suited up for the yellow mesh.

 

JUKEBOX HERO                          3

THE BANANA DEMOCRACY  10

  The banana democracy finally got into the win column for 2008, taking advantage of a bad jukebox hero team to earn the duke.

  The heroes actually held the lead briefly after the first inning.  In the top half of the frame, Opie Neff and Jon Olsavsky connected for run-scoring hits to give the yellow mesh 2 runs.  Then, in the bottom of the first, they held anyone on the democracy not named Kip Corbett hitless to take the narrowest 2-1 lead into the second.   Banana then tied it up on a Dennis Lackey solo homer to lead off the second, and a handful of scoreless innings ensued until the democracy exploded for 5 in the fifth for all the runs they would require.  Three more would be plated in the 8th to give the B.D. a nice even ten for the game, as their defense tightened to keep any runners from reaching base from the 6th stanza on.

   Gillshire notched 6 hits in 13 at-bats with 5 batted in and a pair of double plays.  Corbett connected on 6 shots, while Dennis Lackey coerced a pair of psyche-outs.

  Jon Olsavsky was the only one who did much of anything for jukebox, hitting 5 of 6 shots and driving in a run.  Travis Perry made his debut for the heroes, and Tara Shawlet and Rob Whiting also saw their second consecutive JBH action.

 

THE KYOTO KAMIKAZEES  13

THE FLESHY FUNBRIDGES  14

   Thirteen once again proved unlucky for the kamikazees, as they scored exactly that for the second time in as many games, and once again fell a lone run short.  This loss had to be the more bitter of the two, however, as they blew a gigantic lead over the final three innings to a fellow winless squad in a battle for last in the SBL.

  For the entire first 6 innings, the funbridges looked totally lost.  They managed only three hits, only one of which was from beyond the single line, and couldn’t get any offense whatsoever going from their normally solid captain Rando Knight.  In that time, the kamikazees looked like a team possessed, plating run after run thanks to the timely hitting of Mike Moroco and the deadly outside accuracy of Chris Pacsi.  Moroco was confident enough in his 13-0 lead to go to his bench, sitting Pacsi to get Greg Lackey into the game in the fourth, then putting himself on the pine in the 6th in favor of rookie Rob Whiting.  Meanwhile, his own player, hall of famer Jon Olsavsky, was traded to the opposing funbridges in mid-game in exchange for future considerations.

  Perhaps all of those events conspired to set up one of the most epic collapses in sports history.

  With Olsavsky now in the lineup for the FF, the game took the most drastic of turns, and Opie Neff suddenly became possessed by the spirit of Mark Tarkanick.  With Olsavsky setting the table with near perfection from the single and double lines and Knight finally finding the bottom of the net, Neff failed to miss any of his final 7 shots, 5 of which were from homer range.  3 runs came in the seventh, 8 in the 8th, then the final three in the bottom of the 9th on Neff’s walk-off bomb to put the finishing touches on one of the most amazing games in league annals. 

  The kamikazees made only one shot in the final three innings as their lead went from uncatchable to a memory.

  Neff  finished with 8 hits in 14 attempts with 5 homers and 11 ribbies.  Olsavsky connected on 8 of 10 shots with 2 runs batted in and a huge last-inning double play.

  In a losing effort, Pacsi drilled 3 of 4, all homers, with 5 rbi.  Moroco added 5 hits, 5 rbi, 2 homers and a trio of double plays.

 

THE BANANA DEMOCRACY  0

THE LASER CATS                    17 (6 innings)

  The cats followed up the most dynamic offensive showing of the 2-week old season with the most impressive defensive game of the year, keeping the democracy off the board and limited to a lone Dennis Lackey first-inning triple to improve to 4-0 and into first place in the SBL.

  Shernisky and Tomko continued their reign of terror on the SBL, with Tomko getting 8 hits in 11 at bats with a pair of homers and 6 rbi while Shernisky drilled 7 of 11 shots with 2 longballs and 5 rbi.  Each tipped in an assist, and Shernisky added a quartet of double plays.  But Bob Spohn may have had the best game of all for the cats, a 7 for 11, 3 homer, 6 rbi performance to announce to the world that the grey and pink is not a 2-man show.

  This is normally the part of the article that I reserve to say something good about the losing team.  There is nothing good to say about the performance of the banana democracy.

 

THE QUEENS OF THE REST STOP REACHAROUND  21

VOLTRON                                                                                25

  Picked by at least two SBL superstars to hoist the Left-Eye this summer, few would have imagined that a team boasting the talent of the queens would be sitting at 1-3 after two weeks of action.  But that’s exactly where B.Frank and co find themselves at this point after suffering another big-on-offense loss, this time to conference rivals Voltron to fall a full 3 games back in the national division.

  Voltron continued their trend-bucking style of play, opting to smallball their way another impressive win while the rest of the SBL continued its love affair with the longball and the old “3-people all going for the same double play” defensive strategy. 

   The team devoid of any superstars got four all-star worth performances in this one.  Derek Lockovich:  7 for 14, 1 rbi.  Gavin St. John:  7 for 13, 1 homer, 7 rbi, 1 double play.  Mike Frankovich:  10 for 13, 9 rbi, 4 double plays.  Billy Weisberg:  8 for 13, 1 homer, 8 rbi, 1 double play, countless confoundings of Bryan Frankovich via smothering box-out defense that was so very obviously pissing B. Frank off by the fifth inning of the game.

  The queens did once again nearly pull out a late-inning miracle as Frankovich drilled another ninth inning grand slam, this time tipping in his own miss as the Weisberg-less defense parted like the hair on Ben Smith’s chest and allowed him in.  Even without their Hebrew taskmaster, Voltron was able to hold on just long enough to get their 4th victory.

  Christman led the losers with a 12 for 17, 1 homer, 6 rbi, 1 psyche out, 1 double play performance.  Davidson added 10 hits, and Frankovich plated 11 runs on 3 homers.

 

THE FLESHY FUNBRIDGES               10

THE OATCAKE HATE MONSTERS  19

  Though they did manage a 6th inning grand slam from captain Rando Knight, the funbrides were unable to recapture the magic of one game earlier and the Oatcake Hate Mongers held serve to keep themselves tied with the laser cats atop the SBL’s american conference. 

  Oatcake started off slowly, and for awhile it seemed as if the funbridges were going to keep pace with the offensive juggernaut, but a 9-run 5th inning broke open a 7-2 game and provided a cushion not even a grand slam could overcome.  It certainly helped that Katie Kelly decided to start making shots, as she was responsible for 6 of those nine runs on a trio of extra-base hits.

  Goodpastor once again blazed the trail for her squad, hitting 8 of 11 with a homer and 10 runs batted in.  Matt Mcclelland nailed 6 of 10 with a trip of rbi, while captain Terry Hall connected on 7 of 10.

  For the losers, Knight knocked down 6 of 10 shots with 6 rbi.  Jon Olsavsky tipped in 3 double plays.

 

 

 

TEAM OF THE WEEK:  THE LASER CATS (35 runs one game, a 17-0 blowout the next)

PLAYER OF THE WEEK-  BRYAN FRANKOVICH, THE QUEENS (I’m sure he’d take 2 grand slams and 33 rbi over 2 wins any week)

GAME OF THE WEEK-  FUNBRIDGES OVER KAMIKAZEES

 

 

 

 

SCHEDULE ‘08