| SBL 2005 WEEK 2 MAY 22 THE TUBBIETRONIC SUPERDROME ANALISA GOODTHING 19 THE FUPALOOTERS 4 the contest started ominously for the logo-plastered fupalooters, which quickly sent the jon biddle homerun club into a downward spiral from which they couldn't escape. following a scrum win by the thus far undefeated brandon mckendry (the only real highlight of the lopsided game), team fupa quickly fell back one to nothing on a jon olsavsky 2-out solo homer in his first at-bat. when the 'looters made their way to the plate, they wasted little time putting up back-to back dumb things by homerun aficianados mike devito and brandon mckednry, the first for an airball and the second for shooting out of order. the score remained at 1-love until the 4th when the analisa goodthing thundersticks came alive. surrounded by an esenwein double play to momentarily halt the bleeding, AGT shot off 8 hits, including another olsavsky homer, to build a commanfing 7-0 lead. the fupalooters would finally break their silence in the home half of the inning when jon biddle brought home mckendry with a 3-bagger, but the game got ugly in the next frame as analisa added 4 more to their total. score after 5, 11-1. the fupolooters would find some life in the final innings as greg lackey and jeremy battyani came off the bench to add the much needed short game to their repertoire, but for all intents and purposes the contest was over as early as the 7th as AGT had an answer for every run team fupa plated. jon olsavsky's double play off andy esenwein in the bottom of the ninth all but sealed the deal, and the final nail was driven into jon biddle's casket two batters later as battyani bricked a double attempt. for AGT, who found the win column for the first time in 2005, jon olsavsky continued his impressive early campaign, putting up 9 hits in 11 at bats, nailing 4 homers, driving in 10 and turning 3 double plays. ben elliott contributed with a 4 for 7 showing with a homer and 3 ribbies. the fupalooters (1-2) were sparked by greg lackey's 3 for 4, 3 rbi afternoon. TEAM KOOPA TROOPA 22 RETURN OF THE WEENISES 16 a game that, on paper and based on week one results, was not supposed to be close, played out just as expected as TKT, sans captain bryan frankovich, decimated the weenises in a game in which the final score wasn't reflective of how one-sided the contest was. koopa was never in danger, building a 4-1 lead in the first two innings as acting captain matt mcclelland finally found his stroke, then slowly applying pressure over the next 7 innings to eventually choke the weenises out. holding a 6-2 lead in the 6th, koopa opened the floodgates with an 8-run stanza. matt mcclelland's 3-run jack was followed by a solo shot from jeff knight to cap the scoring in the inning and put the weenises in a 14-2 hole. the weenises would come back with 3 in their at-bat as lenny crist, dennis lackey and terry shernisky would each collect an rbi, but that would be all they could muster as a danielle hennon dumb thing would silence their bats before any big rally could get rolling. TKT added 8 more in the final 2 innings to flirt with a 15-run mercy win, but the weenises would hang in, doing just enough to stay in the game. with their life on the line in their final at-bat, the weenises would put up 8 cosmetic runs to make the final a less laughable 6-run defeat. for 3-0 TKT, mcclelland went 7 for 13 with a homer, 5 rbi and a pair of double plays. pat omahoney hit 8 of 13 shots, drove in 7, and tipped in a trio of double plays and his second assist of the year. jeff knight, making his first start of the year for koopa, drained 7 shots, including a homer, and drove in 6. for the free-falling weenises, dennis lackey hit two longballs and brought in 6 while terry shernisky put on a 6 for 10, 6 rbi, 3 double play showing. UNCLE JED'S POCKET WATCH 14 PJ & THE LADIES 15 (10 INNINGS) one inning after hitting the game-tying shot with 2 outs, pj nespor ended the contest with a walk off double, bringing in fellow original lady rando knight to end the most hotly contested game of the week in 10 innings. after taking an early and seemingly insurmountable 12-3 lead after 4 innings against an uncle jed team that had been struggling mightily, lady captain billy weisberg went to his bench, opting to go with katie burger and aryn christman instead of himself and nate tomko. jed took advantage of the lesser lady lineup, and began slowly chipping away at the lead. a lee nespor homer in the 5th brought in 2 runs, then 4 consecutive extra-base hits in the 6th scored 3 more. the ladies, meanwhile, were unable to counter the sudden resurgence of shelley goodpastor's troops, and by the time the ninth inning rolled around had watched their 9-run lead become a 1-run defecit. having seen enough, weisberg reinserted himself and tomko, and it immediately paid off as tomko dropped in a double play in the first miss of the inning. UJPW did manage one run in the 9th when goodpastor plated kip corbett with a single to make the score 14-12 and put a little extra pressure on the ladies. in their final at-bat, the ladies started off on the right foot as nespor singled and tomko tripled to pull within one. consecutive misses by knight and weisberg had tomko stranded on third and brought the red-hot nespor back to the plate for some heroics. his single attempt rolled on the rim for an eternity before falling through, and the game was knotted at 14. tomko's triple attempt, which would have ended the game, went in and out and the game was headed for some extra time, setting up nespors second huge shot of the afternoon. for pj&l, now 3-0 and counting, nespor finished with 10 hits in 13 at bats with an assist, 3 double plays and 5 driven in. tomko hit on 7 of 8 shots with a homer, 7 ribbies, an assist and 3 d.p.'s. in a losing effort, goodpastor drove in 6 on 9 for 11 marksmanship. TRAIN ON TERRY SHERNISKY 10 UNCLE JED'S POCKET WATCH 8 uncle jed continued to be the biggest dissapointment of the 2005 campaign, dropping the second round of their doubleheader, this time to the undermanned, undertalented, and recently renamed TOTS by a 10-8 count. the loss put UJPW at 1-3 and in sole possesion of the bottom slot in the national conference, a league which boasts jukebox hero. once again, team pocket watch failed to get into any sort of offenseive rythym, scoring their runs in groups of 2 scattered over 4 seperate innings. the first two came in the second on a solo homer by kurt rodemoyer and back to back doubles by shelley goodpastor and dank elly, then two more in the third when the same three went back to back to back from the double stripe to make the score 4-1 in favor of the white team. as always, ben smith kept his team in the game, bringing in mikey moroco with a homer in both the fourth and fifth innings to give his team a one-run lead once again. the second of smith's longballs was put back in by moroco on a fabulous bag-frankovich-then-tip-in-the-assist move which should become a weekly thing in the sbl. not feeling comfortable with such a small lead, the TOTS added 2 more in the 6th as sean hood drove in 2 with a 2-out double. the runs would prove big as lee nespor would find his range for UJPW in the bottom of the frame, stroking a 2-run jack to pull his squad to within 7-6. the teams would trade runs the rest of the way, but the overmatched former brooklyn bridges would eventually put down the challenge of goodpastor and co. to vault their record to 2-1. sean hood hit on 8 of his 11 attempts and drove in 5 for the TOTS. smith added 5 rbi and 2 homers at the plate and a trifecta of double plays defensively, and moroco tipped in 3 d.p.'s himself. team tot was playing without the services of leadoff hitter katie kelly. for the scrubby losers, goodpastor went 4 for 5, but mysteriously benched herself at the midway point of the game depsite being the only productive player on her team. elly and rodemoyer each added 4 hits and 2 rbi's. |
| ANALISA GOODTHING 21 JUKEBOX HERO 4 the five-member jukebox hero lineup featured, for the first time in history, an all-girl squad which will certainly go down in sbl history as the sexiest damn team of all time. well, behind pj & the ladies. suiting up for the yellow mesh were danielle hennon and jamie moroco of the weenises, katie burger of pj&l, erin hayden of team koopa troopa/pj&l and, in her much anticipated return to action, ween farmartino, namesake of the weenises. having no males to match the raw power of analisa goodthing's beefcakes, and because AGT had no females to scrum team estrogen, pj & the ladies volunteered their services to jukebox, surely because they thought it would get them laid. it didn't, but it did earn jukebox home-court advantage. and boy, did it help. the game went pretty much the way you'd imagine it would. goodthing dominated, scoring pretty much at will despite it's best player shooting nothing but singles in hopes of building up his batting average and getting some assists, both of which he did. jukebox, meanwhile, scored just enough to keep from getting 15-runned, but looked so fine nobody seemed to notice how shitty they were. highlights for the game: goodthing- ted going off, jukebox- not getting crushed under ted's mass as he charged about the court. for jukebox, danielle hennon led the ferocious O with a 5 for 8, 1 ribbie performace. for AGT, picciotto went 8 for 15 with 3 homers, 6 rbi and 2 double plays. olsavsky added 10 hits, a pair of assists, and 3 d.p.'s, and elysa farrell went 9 for 15 with 8 driven in. but the man of the hour was ted gilliland, who dominated like the ted of old to the tune of 3 homers and 6 rbi in just over 5 innings of work with...get this... 2 double plays. wow. RETURN OF THE WEENISES 8 JUKEBOX HERO 7 two good things happened in this game. first off, the weenises won, ensuring that they won't go down in history as a team worse than crackalakalakan, a fate nobody deserves. second, the team of danielle hennon and ween farmartino, representing the weenises, scrummed aryn christman and erin hayden of jukebox in a battle that fulfilled every fantasy not taken care of in the goodpastor/hennon battle royale of a week prior. (but it still might not have been the best scrum of the day... more on that later) anyway, the weenises fell into an early hole, trialing by as many as 5 in the third thanks in large part to the timely hitting and stellar defense of aryn christman (pj&l). the weenises, however, were not to be denied their first win against a team that will almost certainly be the weakest they see all year. led once again by rookie of the year candidate terry shernisky, the weenises were able to storm back in the late innings, eventually taking the lead in the 8th on the strength of a huge 4-run frame. the jukebox offense, which had started so hot, failed to collect a hit over the final 3 innings. in totally unrelated news, patrick nespor entered the game in the 7th inning for jukebox. for the weenises, who improved their ledger to 1-3 on the year, shernisky finished with a 6 for 8, 1 homer, 3 rbi, 3 d.p., 1 psyche out line. lackey added 3 each of hits, ribbies and double plays. christman finished 5 of 8 with 2 driven in and 3 double plays. derek lockovich added a homer and 2 rbi. TEAM KOOPA TROOPA 18 THE FUPALOOTERS 17 (10 innings) paced by a balanced attack from all 4 starters and a solid bench, team koopa troopa was able to hold off a very good fupalooter team to improve their record to a perfect 4-0 on the year. jon biddle, desperately searching for an answer after his team got mollywhopped by the formerly winless AGT in their first game of the day, opted to start greg lackey, who had been been the most productive player for the 'looters despite coming off the bench. the move seemed to work, as this version found no problems putting runs on the board. the difference, however, was the defense. biddle removed himself from the game in the 5th in favor of andy esenwein, a much better offensive player but one who is nowhere near bidd's league when it comes to defense. when biddle was in the game, his team had an 8-6 lead with a double play in each of the first 4 innings. without bidd, fupa's defense turned only 3 d.p.'s the rest of the way, and as a result koopa was able to get more at-bats and put up more runs, enough to eventually snatch the lead away. esenwein did prove his worth in the bottom of the ninth, however. with his team trialing by 4 coming into the frame, esenwein first hit a leadoff double, then, following hits by lackey and rookie mike devito, cleared the bases with a 3-run homer to esnure fupa wouldn't go down in 9. brandon mckednry had an oppurtunity to end the game in regulation, but his homer went in and out and a game was headed for extra innings for the second time that day. in the tenth, koopa got one when pat o'mahoney drove in matt mcclelland with a 1-out double, but that would be all they could muster as a mckednry double play snuffed out TKT for the inning. lackey led off the bottom of the tenth with a double, but o'mahoney came up huge again, tipping in a double play to once again put the pressure on esenwein. looking to repeat his perfomance of one innning prior, esenwein once again lined up for the middle homer, but this time failed to hit, sending his team to their 3rd consecutive loss. in a winning effort, o'mahoney collected 7 hits, 4 ribbie and 6 double plays. bryan frankovich added a homer and 7 rbi, and pat lackey 6 hits and 5 runs batted in. for the losers, greg lackey finished with 10 hits in 12 attempts with 4 runs batted in. TRAIN ON TERRY SHERNISKY 8 PJ & THE LADIES 15 thanks once again to the newest deadly 1-2 punch in the sbl, pj & the ladies rolled to their 4th win in a row in convincing fashion. pj nespor and nate tomko paved the way for the new-look ladies, with nespor collecting 8 hits from the leadoff position and tomko reaping the rewards, hitting 3 homers and driving in 10 with an assist, a psyche out and a trio of double plays. not that tomko and nespor did all of the work. each members of the ladies contributed, with weisberg finally coming around with an assist and 2 rbi on 5 of 10 shooting. big rando knight hit on 4 of 7 shots with 3 d.p.'s, and off the bench young aryn christman hit on 2 of 3 and tipped in a double play. the game was close in the early stages, as neither team could find the scoreboard in the first. the ladies then broke it open in the second, plating 5 as tomko hit his first 3-run jack of the game. a weisberg-assisted tomko 2-run longball made the count 7-1 in favor of the communists after 3, and the ladies continued to pour on the run sauce over the next few innings, eventually building a 15-2 lead. in the final 2 stanzas, the TOTS would get some offense going as they abandoned the longball in favor of the short game. they were able to plate 3 each in the 8th and 9th, but the lady defense was just too much for ben smith and friends to overcome. in a losing effort, katie kelly went 6 of 11 with 4 rbi, quadrupling her output in the rbi department up to that point. smith and mikey moroco added 5 hits each, but combined for more dumb things (3) than rbi (2). oh, wait! the scrum! i almost forgot the best part. katie kelly vs. aryn christman. it was so freaking hot that i almost wanted to call the cops on myself for the things running through my mind. when these two scrum, they grunt-scream like female tennis players. we'll definately have to see this one again. GAME OF THE WEEK: KOOPA VS. FUPA (EDGING OUT THE OTHER OVERTIME THRILLER, PJ&L VS. UJPW) PLAYER OF THE WEEK: JON OLSAVSKY (ANOTHER BIG, QUIET WEEK) TEAM OF THE WEEK: ANALISA GOODTHING (2-0 AFTER AN 0-2 START) schedule 2005 |