| SBL 2005, WEEK 1 MAY 15TH ASS CLOWN OUTDOOR ARENA RETURN OF THE WEENISES 10 PJ & THE LADIES 13 after months of trash talking and hype, terry shernisky finally made his sbl debut for return of the weenises, and the league wasted little time welcoming him. shernisky was set to scrum against 5-year veteran pj "wily" nespor, and less that 5 seconds in, the "full sbl scrum air horn" sounded and nearly 30 bodies went about punishing the future mr. katie kelly. shernisky took his lumps like a man, however, and after the ladies prevailed, went to work at the plate, driving in the first run of the season as the weenises took an early 1-0 lead. the ladies bounced right back in the bottom of the first, scoring 5 thanks in large part to a pj nespor 2-out assist and a nate tomko 3-run jack. the ladies would never trail again. the weenises rattled off 5 consecutive hits to knot the game at 5 in the top of the fifth, but the ladies once again responded in the home half of the frame, plating 4 more on the strength of tomko's second 3-run homer of the contest. in the top of the eight, the weenises closed to 10-9 when shernisky drove in his team-high 5th rbi of the contest, but as they had done all game long, pj&l had an answer in their very next at-bat, as tomko once again cleared the bases with a 3-run homer. the weenises would add one final run in the top of the 9th, but a rando knight double play on jamie moroco sealed the lady win. tomko finished with 8 hits in 9 at-bats with 4 homers, 9 rbi and 6 runs scored, all team highs. rando knight contributed with 4 double plays and 5 hits. shernisky finished with a 7 of 10, 5 rbi, 2 double play line to pace his sqad. weenis captain dennis lackey added 6 hits and 3 rbi. ANALISA GOODTHING 23 TEAM KOOPA TROOPA 32 after a relatively slow first game, the scoring came in bunches in the second contest of the day as team koopa troopa and analisa goodthing put on a game for the ages. led by captain bryan frankovich's 9 for 15, 4 homer, 13 rbi, 8 runs scored, 3 double play line, koopa was able to climb out of an early 1-0 hole when they tallied 5 in the bottom of the second thanks to 7 straight hits. analisa goodthing roared right back in the 4th and 5th innings, scoring 12 runs combined in those two frames. billy picciotto highlighted the 4th with a 3-run homer, and 7 consecutive extra-base hits contributed to the big AGT 5th. koopa troopa, meanwhile, continued to pile on the runs as well, scoring 4 in the 4th thanks to a bryan frank homer and 3 in the 5th as rookie pat o'mahoney hit his 6th and 7th consecutive shots. the score after 5 stood at 13-12 in favor of ben elliott's charges, but that would be their final lead of the game. TKT blew the game open in the 6th, hitting 9 in a row to plate 10 runs. in the big inning, bryan frankovich added 2 more 2-run homers, but the biggest killer occured when the AGT defense allowed o'mahoney to tip in a frankovich miss to keep the rally going. over the final 3 innings, both teams continued to put runs across the dish, but the deficit proved too large for analisa goodthing to overcome, and the gunfight ended with a jon olsavsky brick in the top of the ninth. o'mahoney set an sbl record with 11 hits in his first game, missing only 4 times and driving in 8. pat lackey collected 10 hits, 7 ribbies and 8 scored and mike frankovich came off the bench to go 6 for 9 with 2 rbi. picciotto led the way for the losers with a 7 for 12, 1 homer, 8 rbi, 5 runs scored line. olsavsky contributed 8 hits, elysa farrell went 8 for 13, and ben elliott drove in 6 on 5 of 10 marksmanship in his coaching debut. THE BROOKLYN BRIDGES 8 THE FUPALOOTERS 11 ben smith came out doing exactly what he wanted to, hitting a 2-run homer in the top of the first to give his team an early lead, but team fupa proved too much inside for the smallish brooklyn bridges. the fupalooters, as always led inside by single-season rbi champ and captain jon biddle, recorded a double play in 8 of the 9 innings played, preventing the bridges from getting any sort of rally going all game. in the bottom of the first, the 'looters took the lead right back, plating 3 thanks to greg lackey's pair of doubles, but the BB came right back in the top of the third, scoring 5 culminating with mikey moroco's 3-run longball. the fupalooters got 2 back in the home half of the 3rd to make the count 7-5 in favor of the bridges a third of the way into the game. the fupalooters would continue to chip away over the next 3 innings, eventually taking the lead back for good in the 7th with 5 extra base hits. ben smith would end his team's scoring with a solo shot in the top of the eighth, but bidd's 6th d.p. of the game came in the bottom of the ninth and put the final nail in smith and co.'s coffin. greg lackey and jeremy battyani came up huge as biddle and brandon mckendry struggled at the plate, both posting 5 for 9 lines with 2 and 3 rbi, respectively. katie kelly missed only one of her 8 shots for the brooklyn bridges. UNCLE JED'S POCKET WATCH 7 JUKEBOX HERO 10 for the first time in their 3 year history, jukebox hero had a winning record after thier stunning 3-run win over the shelley goodpastor led UJPW, a team many sbl insiders felt had a good shot at an sbl championship in 2005. the tone for the game was set in the scrum when adam "the pen is mightier" fabian of jukebox shocked kurt rodemoyer, ripping the ball away from the bigger man and hopping across the finish line to give his team home-field advantage. uncle jed, stacked with such stars as dank elly and kip corbett, failed to score in the first 4 innings of the contest. jukebox, meanwhile, came out of the gate running, crossing the plate 3 times in the first on back-to-back hits by danielle hennon and katie burger and a base-clearing 3-bagger by fabes. hennon then plated fabes 2 batters later to make it 3-0 after one. after a burger rbi single in the second and a jeff knight solo homer in the 4th, jukebox had a commanding 5-0 lead over uncle jed. looking for some instant offense, goodpastor went to her bench, and found a little in the form of former homerun king lee nespor. in his first at-bat, lee banged home a 2-out rbi triple to get his team on the scoreboard. adam fabian then decided to take the game into his own hands, hitting 4 solo homers over the next 4 innings to all but vanquish team pocket watch. it should be noted, however, that the first of fabes' homers was the ugliest damn shot in league history, hitting off the overhang of the garage before swishing through. jed got 6 runs in the final 2 innings to make the final tally respectable, but the outcome could only be described as "embarassing" for goodpastor and her veteran squad. shelley did all she could, however, going 7 of 10 from the plate, but the combined 2 hits from elly, corbett and rodemoyer spelled doom for pocket watch. fabes finished with 5 hits, 4 homer, 6 rbi and 3 d.p.'s. jeff knight added a pair of homers, and hennon and burger each collected 3 hits for victorious JBH. jamie fabian and derek lockovich were also sighted wearing the yellow. |
| ANALISA GOODTHING 7 PJ & THE LADIES 22 (6 INNINGS) the ladies wasted no time proving they were for real, destroying a very good analisa goodthing team and ending the festivities 3 innings prematurely due to the mercy rule. with 2 down in the 6th and his team ahead by 11, nate tomko took an oppurtunity to end the game with the most exiting shot in baseketball, banking in a walk-off grand slam to send team ben elliott to their second loss of the season. goodthing got little offense outside of the homer, scoring 4 runs on a pair of solo longballs from picciotto and a 2-run shot from olsavsky. obviously missing leadoff hitter elysa farrell, AGT found themselves unable to get runners on base for the homerun specialists to bring in. the ladies, however, were getting offense from all sectors. pj nespor had a very un-pj nesporlike 7 for 9 outing with 4 rbi. tomko had a very tomkolike 9 for 10, 4 homer, 15 rbi, 11 run scored showing, and captain billy weisberg added 6 extra-base hits. the balanced attack led to the ladies scoring 4 in the second, 3 in the 3rd, and 7 in the fourth before finishing AGT off with 6 in the sixth. olsavsky hit 6 of his 7 shots from the leadoff slot for analisa, driving in a team high 4 runs. the walk-off grand slam was the second of tomko's career. TEAM KOOPA TROOPA 19 THE FUPALOOTERS 10 jon biddle ripped down the fucking hoop. not just the hoop, but the whole backboard and the quartet of 4x4's that held the backboard to the garage. he put a hole in tracy schliep's carport that will certainly lower the value of the lovely woman's home by thousands of dollars. and the best part? he didn't even get the double play he was attempting to dunk home. what a douche. anyway, after quite a few people cleared out, rightfully fearful that nate tomko would blow up, and the backboard was macgyvered back into place with some rope, the game got back underway. however, it was nowhere near as interesting as the backboard incident, and i wouldn't want to take anything away from jon biddle's douche move by elaborating about any baseketball game, so we'll go right to the stats: mcclelland went 8 of 12 with 3 rbi and bryan frankovich hit on half of his ten shots and drove in 6. also for the winners, mike frankovich collected 6 hits, drove in 6, and scored 6 times. spooky. for the losers, biddle hit on 6 of 9 shots, drove in 2, and ripped one backboard off of a garage. douche. UNCLE JED'S POCKET WATCH 10 RETURN OF THE WEENISES 7 uncle jed once again had trouble getting their offense in gear. fortunately for them, this time they did just enough to pull out a last-second win against the lowely weenises (0-2). the most entertaining part of the game was the scrum, a battle which somewhat fulfilled the fantasies of nearly every man in the sbl and gave at least one league member a "chub". danielle hennon of the weenises and shelley goodpastor of pocket watch put on a memorable display of scrummin, rolling around on the ground for a good minute before hennon got the upper hand and earned her squad home team advantage. during the scrum, their may or may not have been kissing. i guess you won't know unless you were there. the weenises grabbed an early lead in the second, scoring a trio of runs thanks to 4 consecutive hits from their starting lineup. they continued to add to their lead, putting up one more in the 4th and a pair in the fifth. UJPW, meanwhile, were only able to get 2 in the first 5 innings, both being driven in by a shelley goodpastor double. score after 5, 6-2 weenises. lee nespor, who had been pacing the sidelines all game long, was finally given the green light by goodpastor in the top of the 6th, and once again got right to work. lee 2-run homer in his first at-bat of the game pulled jed to within 2. however, lees previous late game heroics seemed to have died as he, and the rest of his team, went hitless in the next 2 innings. the weenises, however, added another run in the bottom of the 8th when sherry ternisky plated dennis lackey, and the 7-3 lead appeared to be enough against the ice-cold jed. goodpastor slapped her troops into shape just in the nick of time, perhaps promising to rescrum danielle in the event of a win. at any rate, everyone seemed to regain their stroke at the same time, and corbett, rodemoyer and goodpastor filled up the bases and twice let nespor hit 2-run homers to clear them. when the smoke cleared on the top of the ninth, UJPW had posted 6 and held a 10-7 lead. the weenises, exasperated from the last-second fireworks, did nothing in the bottom of the inning that hennon had fought so hard for, and lost their second heartbreaker of the evening. nespor finished with 3 hits, all homers, and drove in 6. goodpastor added a 6 of 8 game with the other 4 rbi. for the losing weenises, ternisky collected 6 double plays and 6 hits to lead the way. no backboards were harmed during the contest. THE BROOKLYN BRIDGES 22 JUKEBOX HERO 7 (8 INNINGS) jukebox hero, sporting a lineup featuring lee nespor, dank elly, ben elliott and jeff knight, had a serious shot at going 2-0 on the season against a brooklyn bridges team that had put up an anemic showing it's first time out. it wasn't in the stars for the lovebale losers, however, as JBH found their way safely back to the loss column in a 15-run drubbing that ended an inning early. the BB offense came alive in a big way, scoring in all but one inning in an assault that came from all 4 members of it's team. even if the jukebox 5 had been on, which they certainly weren't, it wouldn't have mattered as ben smith's squad scored at will against the heroes. the bridges had 5 strings of at least 4 hits, and after 2 in the first 3 innings, had already built an 11-3 lead. once any thought of winning had left the jukebox mind, the players set out for personal gain, essentially shooting nothing but solo homers the rest of the way out. the biggest inning for BB was the 7th, in which they got a pair of homers from ben smith and scored 7 runs to expand their lead to 19-5 and came within one in-and-out homer from jeff knight from ending it there. jukebox got a few solo shots to make brooklyn work a bit, but ben smith nailed a 3-run homer with no outs in the bottom of the frame to provide the neccesary lead and end the game. smith finished with an 8 for 13 outing with 3 homers and 11 rbi. katie kelly and mikey chang also collected 8 hits, and sean hood finished with 6 hits, 2 homers and 5 rbi. chang led his team with 2 d.p.'s. in a losing effort, ben elliot hit 3 of 6 and jeff knight hit 3 shots with a homer, an assist and a double play. the brooklyn bridges and jukebox hero both sit at 1-1 and in second place in their respective conferences. GAME OF THE WEEK: KOOPA TROOPA OVER ANALISA GOODTHING, 32-23 PLAYERS OF THE WEEK: LEE NESPOR, UJPW (5 HOMERS OFF THE BENCH FOR HIS OTHERWISE SAD TEAM) NATE TOMKO, PJ&L (17 OF 19, 24 RBI, 8 HOMERS, 6 D.P.'S ON THE WEEK) TEAM OF THE WEEK: PJ & THE LADIES (2-0, ONE 15-RUN DECIMATION) 2005 SCHEDULE |