BIG MAC’S EXTREMELY EARLY PRESEASON POWER RANKINGS
So while Ben Smith and the SBL President were cranking out articles in mid February, just laying the groundwork for being burnt out come the end of august, yours truly has been sitting back and enjoying Ben’s attempt at satire. But with the teams in place and the season only a couple months away, I just could not contain myself any longer. For those of you who are tired of hearing about such things as girl’s shoes…or are not interested in hearing anything that Bryan Frankovich thinks, your ship has come in. It’s the 2007 pre-season edition of Mac’s Power Rankings. Let’s just kick it off with the best team, not some grammatical error filled diatribe about AIM away messages.
1) The KY Connection- Those who know in the SBL have been buzzing about the reunion of these two young studs. Now a little older and much, much better, this tandem could challenge the Tomko-Goodpastor duo of the early 2000’s for best SBL pair ever with career years this year. I would be a little worried about this team if not for rock solid Pat Nespor, who should be able to serve as the glue that holds this team together (and isn’t worried about personal stats). The also have M-Frank, who could evolve into a decent hitter this year. Add the humor of Seth Salcedo, and some dude with the name Gavin St. John and I think we have a contender.
2) The Sparkling Wiggles- I’m a little scared to google the origin of this name from work, so I will make it a point to ask about it later. At first I thought that Nate was setting himself up for a bit of a challenge this year…then he got Pat Lackey. There are few players in the league more valuable that Pat Lackey. Pat should be able to level out Nate’s anger, negotiate a peace treaty between bitter rivals Danielle Hennon and Katie Kelly…all while hitting over .500. If the Katie Kelly followed by Nate combination works out as well as I think it will, they should work well together.
3) The High School Athletes and Kip- Third in the league simply based on athletic ability, this team has a chance to make a splash this season…or totally fall apart. I can’t help but think back to the Milf Hunters of 2003. They started off smoking, then realized that four really good players who play with similar styles just don’t mesh on the same team. In my mind I see Terry and Tony fighting for homeruns, while Kippy and G-Lack fight over the middle double and middle triple. In his interview this week, the class of the rookies in this year’s draft said he saw himself as a long ball shooter. For this team to have a shot, he may have to see himself as the Pippen to Terry’s MJ.
4) PJ and the Ladies- I’d love to say that I foresee this bunch of ladies being like the loveable losers of my baseketball youth, but I just don’t think this is the case with this team. Nobody at SBL world headquarters is going to succeed in convincing me that a team with three hall of famers is the 5th or 6th best team in the league. Nobody. The ladies will be capable of beating any team on any given Sunday. I’m just hoping they mix in a few penalty innings too.
5) The Hairy Bavarians- Ben Smith’s crew needed a spark from the draft…and got Mattyanni and Stud Frankovich. Passing on someone who would actually show up and has the ability to change the game without making a shot (Lenny Crist), may come back to bite this team. While Matt McClelland will surely be happy to be watching Jaime Morocco shoot from a different angle, the two lovers also share similar tastes in shots, which could lead to a problem. Ben Smith’s history of inconsistency in the regular season also does not bode well. I must admit that I can’t recall ever watching Sweetwater Cataline play. If he plays well, and Ben Smith is Ben Smith all season, they could rocket up the charts by season’s end.
6) Team Jailbait III- While this team certainly has the talent to win some games, it also has three players who totally bailed on last season’s finale. For Aryn’s sake, let’s hope she is old enough to buy cigarettes by the beginning of the season…or thinks of other ways to motivate.
7) Team Lee- How can a team with no less than five of my all time favorite SBL personalities be ranked dead last? Well first, the league runs tremendously deep this year. Second, their three best players are somewhat enigmatic. Is it possible that Jon O, Shelley, and Terry Hall will be totally committed to the SBL this year? Sure- but it’s also highly unlikely. This team is perhaps the most intriguing of the bunch. Here’s hoping that fate is kind to Leebone.