| SBL PICKS, WEEK 5 TEAM WET DREAM (7-1) wet dream, on paper, has a pretty easy week 5 lined up. playing the normally putrid jukebox zeroes and danielle hennon's legion of pink underachievers, the league leaders are faced with the daunting task of taking on the two worst teams in the sbl. this is a perfect chance to pick up two more wins and officially make this season a race for second. BUT WAIT! let's face it, cashdollar is a much, much better team than their 3-6 record would indicate. biddle is still looking to regain his form after missing the first two weeks due to a case of kaiserslaughter, and my choice for preseason player of the year darkhorse mike e. moroco has been inconsistent, to say the least. in the sbl world of "that's why we play the games", this could be the week biddle and mikey come around. i'm calling the cashdollar upset right now. obviously, i'll be taking the nocturnal ejaculators over jukebox, but heed this warning: beat cash, face a stacked yellow mesh. LIVE SEX CELEBRATION (6-3) tomko's pissed that his team is a full 2 games behind the league leaders (he's won 5 consecutive regular season titles) but should probably be pretty happy with his squads 6-3 record, given the dicouraging play of kip corbett and the 2-week abscence of big white elliott. this week should give them an oppurtunity to improve to 8-3, as they take on a bukkake tsunami team tomko has been quoted as saying "will never beat us" and a frankenbiotches squad that has looked like a big steamy pile of shit over the past 4 games. playing at auschwitz, i can't see bukkake keeping up with nate and jamie moroco, both of whom have traditionally plyed well there. aside from rando knight's perfect game a few seasons back, nobody on bukkake has done much at the garden. as for the frankenbitches, i see them dropping another close on to lsc here. while i see cashdollar as a struggling team waiting to break out, frank seems to have no light at the end of the tunnell. this team is struggling mightily now, and while they have more than enough talent to win this game, as well as the whole damn thing, they need to ge ttheir heads screwed on right. THE MINORI-TEAM (5-4) the minors have looked pretty damn good of late, winning two of three last week without all-star probable and admitted black man terry hall to make it 4 of their last five. mcclelland was a machine at his home away from home in week four, and billy weisberg had one of those weeks that he's had from time to time- just enough to get the "billy's breaking out" buzz going. in a big rematch with the frankensence, the minors should make it three wins in three weeks against their divisional rivals. big mac, terry and billy are playing better right now than bryan, jon and whichever lackey shows up, and even captain erin hayden batted around .500 last week. though frank will keep it close, i see another 1-run, extra inning game going to the black and gold here. jukebox, should they get the minors second, will give them a scare but fall short. hayden needs to make sure her team doesn't get down against the sbl's cellar dwellars. could anyone have imagined a 7-4 minoriteam after week 2? BUKKAKE TSUNAMI (5-4) after winning three of three in week three, the tsunami saw their fortunes reverse last week, as they went 0-2 to slip from american leaders to the middle of the pack in the sbl playoff hunt. this week could make or break the tsunami's season. on slate for the facial fiesta in week 5 are a pair of conference rivals in cashdollar and associates and live sex celebration. bukkake has had their way with cash, their arch-rivals, thus far this year, going 3-0 against the stinky pink. they also played live sex tough, falling by one in their only meeting four weekends ago. unfortunately for bukkake, i see their downfall trumping their past, and cashdollar getting their first win in their final regular season meeting with team big rando. then, live sex will take them out for the second time, most likely in dominating fashion. looks like it's gonna be "break". THE FRANKENBITCHES (3-5) this poor team. so much talent, such high expectations. two games under .500. bryan frankovich is having a player of the year-type season, but it hasn't been enough. though jon olsavsky is playing well, he doesn't seem to be enjoying himself as he has in seasons past, and it's showing in the results. this was supposed to be a breakout year for mike frankovich, but he's done little, and greg lackey isn't up to the level he performed at last season. even mr. baseketball dennis lackey could care less about the frankenbitches, as jukebox hero is his only baby. on tap for this weekend is a live sex team that has to be steaming after being thoroughly spanked by team wet dream thier last time out. i see the frankenbitch keeping it close, but live sex pulling out the duke by a 15-13 count. the slide will reach six when the minori-team comes calling. once again, it'll be tight the whole way. then, finally, as if sent from heaven, jukebox will line up opposite the frankenbitches. if, in fact, bryan's squad has lost 6 consecutive heading into the contest, jukebox will look like a special olympics team and the frankenbitches will take out 3 weeks of frusturation on them to finally earn a win. CASHDOLLAR & ASSOCIATES (3-6) danielle hennon used the draft and preseason signing time to build herself a team that looks good in every way, except when they play baseketball. while i don't understand why they're 3-6, i do know that they've lost two for every game they've won. i've been thinking it for awhile, but this time i'm putting it in writing. this is the week cashdollar goes perfect and gets back into this baseketball season. first, they're taking out nemesis bukkake tsunami, then they're gonna take out the league leaders wet dream. biddle's going to out double play mikey, pj's actually going to show up, and the chinese kid is going to drive in 20 runs. the world will be right again, and cash will suddenly be back in the thick of things. JUKEBOX HERO (1-7) if i may quote jon biddle here: "loss, loss, loss". (unless cash doesn't beat wet dream. then, they'll either get a win or lose with an all-star team playing for them) PRES 06 |