SBL 2008, WEEK 10
JULY 27
HOFFA CENTRE
Well, hello there fellow baseketballers. I was
approached by Nate the other day and he kindly asked me to recap the 10th week
of basketball. So of course I agreed to do so, and I even told him I would grab
the book off of him and write the article up legitimately. Instead, he told me
to do it completely off the top of my head, so that is what I will be doing. He
also told me anything goes. No joke, words straight from his mouth, "Write
the recaps from last week from memory, and just say how awesome the both of us
are, and how ben smith is the new bitch of the
league" Well maybe that wasn't verbatim, but it was close enough. So I 'm
going to try to the best of my ability to give you the best possible recap of
each and every game played last sunday
at the hoffa centre. Also, since I am so freaking
awesome, I'm going to add to each game the "what wouldve
happened...", and by this I mean what would've happened if frankovich played on the losing team. (Things would
obviously be different). So here goes...(Oh yea frankovich is awesome) And yes I am going to be using a lot
of third person so get used to it.)
GAME 1 KYOTO KAMIKAZEES DEF. BANANA DEMOCRACY by FFT
Well as you can tell banana democracy did not have enough teammates to suit up
and actually make this game legit, but who cares. The game started off with
So... What wouldve happened
if frankovich suited up for K.K?
Assuming that both teams had full squads, this one would get ugly early. frankovich would probably have 6
homers by the first inning as him, mikey, pj, would have cleared the board several times.This would continue for the next few innings until
Nate called the game off after his hand hurts from filling in so many bases
because of frankovich home runs.
Final score KK - 32 B.D - 1 4 innings
GAME 2 KYOTO KAMIKAZEES DEF. Jukebox Hero 20-19
Now this game took place after the KK found out that
playoffs were impossible to obtain. So mikey wanted
revenge on the whole oatcake squad, as well as some other awesome players, myself
included. god frankovich
rules. Anyways, the game started off with jukebox absolutley
destroying KK. In fact the only reason I think that this one was close was how
many fous and tip backs we gave this team. We were up
8 going into the final inning and let them come back with 2 outs. I don't even
think mikey was outside for this. I think he got
penalized? But he was inside making pasta or something. Nothing too interesting
happened this game besides, a bunch of homers by frankovich
and a very awesome tip back by yours truly. Since I played on the losing team,
I felt really bad for KK so we let them win.
GAME 3 The Fleshy Funbridges def. Voltron
7-2
This was the game that decided who got to enter the
playoffs I believe. If Voltron won, KK would be in.
If the Funbridges won, they'd be in. This game was
never really that close, as the Funbridges
took an early lead and never let go. Paced by Rando
Knight, the Funbridges were able to knock down
singles and triples effectively enough to control the game. Voltron
didn't make that many shots and I think scored both their runs in like the 8th
inning. Yea I know what your all thinking...
What wouldve happened if frankovich...
Well obviously we would never be down in this contest. An early grand slam by frankovich would all but seal the deal in this game. 6 home
runs, 5 assists, and 9 double plays later, this game is
finished!
GAME 4 The Fleshy Funbridges def. Banana Democracy by
fft.
I honestly do not remember one thing from this game. What probably happened is
banana democracy owned the funbridges in a futile
effort. Lets cut to the good part.
What wouldve happened...
I would have easily surpassed the single game records of both rbi's, and homeruns in a single
game with both 30, and 15 respectively. There would be no answer to frankovich's awesomeness and banana democracy would have
went home crying before this was even over. Ben smith sucks for not showing up
and costing his team the game.
Final score FF- 38 BD - 0 6 innings.
GAME 5 The Queens fucking humiliated Oatcake 23-8
This game was just disgusting. Really
oatcake? Come on you guys are better then that. Actually, the queens
just got off to some hot early innings and never looked back. Aryn's double, frankovich's
triple, and studs single routine was almost flawless in this one. If I recall
correctly, I think mac was the only one on the team
actually making shots. But it didn't matter as this game was finished before
the 7th inning stretch.
Now if I would have suited up for oatcake...
Same thing would have happened except reversed. Everyone on oatcake would have
made all of their shots because frankovich rules.
Final Score Oatcake- 23 Queens- 8
GAME 6 Oatcake def Voltron 19-4
So oatcake finally got their shit together to beat a
shorthanded team that consisted I think of val and billy. I do have to give credit to oatcake for finally
making some shots. I do believe they had some solid innings where they may or
may not have cleared the board. Voltron couldn't do shit, and consistently had their half of the inning end
prematurely by double plays from oatcake.
What would've happened...
Oatcake would have shit their pants had they seen frankovich
gear up in yellow. This would completely altered their
gameplan to a more conservative single, single,
single, double, strategy. It wouldn't have worked because, well... I said so.
Final Score Voltron 29 Oatcake- 1
GAME 7
This game was by far the only interesting contest of the day. The cats with
nothing to lose were playing against their arch rivals the queens of the katie kelly
reacharound, who had to win this game for any chance
of a 2nd seed. Each team exchanged good innings to keep the score close. Nate
Tomko would then proceed to hit a grand slam somewhere around the 4th inning
making a blowout seem quite possible and even likely at this point. However, as
the next inning rolled around frankovich hit his 1234807252th grand slam of the year to bring things a bit
closer. After that, the queens really got their shit together and continued to
score runs every single inning. The cats, were not so
hot. Terry Shernisky couldn't get his head out of his
ass and could not make that many shots of his own. The only thing pacing this
squad was the many 2 run homers by president bush..err I mean Tomko. So this game ended without a big
final inning out of the cats, probably because only like 2 players on their
team were actually even making shots.
What would've happened...
Do you really even need to know what would happen if Nate, Bryan, and Terry
were on the same team? Yea I think we all do.
Final Score Cats- ∞ Queens-25
GAME 8 Cats defeat jukebox hero 11-6
I was still at work at this point, so I have no clue what happened. Judging by
the score I'd say that the cats were taking it easy and dicking
around. And whats funny about this game is that
jukebox probably thought they'd have a chance... which they would have if...
Frankovich geared up in the mesh...
That is all, juke box would have won, duh
frankovich rules!
Final Score Frankovich hero - 22 Cats- 16
Player of the week: FRANKOVICH!! like it couldve been anyone else
Least valuable player of the week: Ben Smith. Way to not even show up.
Team of the week: Queens... this is actually legit
Game of the week:
Rookie of the week: Billy deforest
President of the week: Nate Tomko
Mom of the week: Connie
Absent Baseketballer of the week: Lenny
There you have it folks. That is every game to its entirety, 100% correct. See
you guys sunday!
Oh yea, frankovich rules!