| sbl 2006 week 7 july 8 the k-y court at assbang fieldhouse LIVE SEX CELEBRATION 16 CASHDOLLAR & ASSOCIATES 17 cashdollar improved their season record against the american-leading live sex to 2-1 and managed to prove more than a few "this will be an 0-3 week for the pink" doubters wrong with a big one over thier conference rivals. the danielle hennon-captained cash jumped out to a big early lead, going up tenthanks to a couple of early perfect games for leadoff hitter jon biddle and #2 hitter mike moroco. while both would eventually let their perfection slip away in the middle innings, the deadly combination had just enough left in the tank to hold off the late run by live sex. after mike moroco's second three run homer of the game extended the lead to 12-2, live sex's nate tomko tipped in an inning ending double play, then came back and led off the top of the third with a triple to finally get the offense on track. slowly over the next few innings, the balanced attack of live sex would cut the lead, eventually culminating in the top of the ninth. live sex leadoff hitter jamie moroco got the ninth rolling with a double, but tomko missed his third homer in as many innings to keep cash in front. with both the defense and the sphincters tightening up, kip corbett and ben elliott followed suit, and cash escaped with the duke. moroco's 8 for 9, 4 homer, 14 rbi, 2 double play outing paced the winners. biddle finished 8 for 10 with three double plays. for the losers, corbett hit on nine of twelve attempts and drove in 8. tomko recorded 7 double plays and a psyche out. TEAM WET DREAM 15 THE MINORI-TEAM 1 (8 INNINGS) playing extremely short handed, the red-hot minori-team just couldn't keep their streak going, bowing to the league's best team in a mercy-shortened contest. with billy weisberg in columbus and matt mclleland in prison, minority captain erin hayden was left with a ragtag bunch including terry hall, jeremy battyani and jimmy holl. the black and gold saw the game go just about as expected, as the only scoring would come from terry hall's solo homer in the fourth. in fact, the minorities would connect on only 5 hits all game. wet dream, meanwhile, had little trouble on eaither end, as the dynamic trio of katie kelly, aryn christman and terry shernisky scored at will as they've been doing all year. though only up three when hall's solo job swished through, they were quick to prevent any rally, coming right back with 4, then 5 run innings. for the winners, aryn christman solidified herself as a player of the year contender with an 8 for 11, 1 homer, 4 rbi, 2 double play, 1 assist showing. shernisky added 7 hits, 6 ribbies and a trio of d.p.'s, while kelly connected on 6 of 11 from the field. hall tipped in 2 double plays for the losers. BUKKAKE TSUNAMI 2 THE FRANKENBITCHES 9 after showing that they did, in fact, have an offense with a pair of 18-runners last week, bukkake tsunami was back to their old tricks with a pathetic two-run showing in their first game of week seven. the 'bitches didn't exactly play the game of their lives, but the nine they managed was more than enough against the impotent bukkake attack that could muster only 6 hits, two of which came in the late innings from sub jamie fabian. bryan frankovich supplied the offense in the win, hitting on 7 of 8 with a homer and 6 runs batted in. jon olsavsky added a homer and three runs batted in, while mike frank led his team defensively with a quartet of double plays. pat lackey's 3 for 6, 2 double play outing was tops for the tsunami. CASHDOLLAR & ASSOCIATES 7 TEAM WET DREAM 9 mike moroco, who had been on fire throughout cashdollars first game of the day, went ice-cold in this outing, and his team followed him right down the shitter. without their angry aircasted asian drilling middle homers and a sickening rate, the casdollar assualt lacked much firepower. biddle's doubles continued to fall through, as they have for him over the last handful of weeks, but with danielle only knocking down singles behind him, biddle often found himself stranded on second as the overmatched team wet dream defense more than held its own inside. wet dream jumped out to the early lead via a three-run first capped off by shernisky's assist of a lee nespor side triple. cash jumped back into the game with a four-run second, but the dream team stole the lead right back over the next two innings as sherry would drive in three. with the green and white holding a 7-4 advantage, both offense took a vacation in the middle innings. a moroco two-run shot provided his only rbi's of the game and a brief challenge to katie kelly's troops, but the nocturnal ejaculations would answer right back int he home half of the inning with two of their own to keep cash at bay. cash would make one final run in the eighth, getting a one out triple from moroco, then a rbi single from hennon to close to within two, but aryn christman put back a miss by biddle for a huge double play to all but lock up the win. christman was tops from the line for her team with a 7 for 9 game. shernisky added 4 runs batted in and 4 double plays. for cashdollar, danielle hennon went 7 for 12 with three batted in. JUKEBOX HERO 12 THE MINORI-TEAM 3 the bad luck continued for the minori-team, as terry hall was unable to stick around for his teams second matchup of the day, and as a result erin hayden was forced to march out a team missing it's three best players. to make matters worse, the minorities were facing the ever popular, but ever deadly triple threat of lackeys. and, as if it could get any worse, defending player of the year nate tomko suited up in the fourth yellow mesh jersey. not suprisingly, the game got ugly early and often. the jukebox heroes had their way inside, as pat and greg lackey as well as nate tomko finished with a pair of assists. jukebox got rolling early, scoring four in the first which would be more than enough for the entire contest. as shots went back up and in over and over and over again, the lead was extended to 7-0 before a shocking jimmy holl two-run homer would put the minorities on the board. while holl would manage another longball, a solo shot in the sixth, this version of jukebox was not going to be denied, as they would chalk up another four run frame in the fifth before putting on the cruise control. tomko went 6 for 7 with 3 jacks and 5 rbi for the winners. greg lackey chipped in with an 8 for 11, 1 homer, 3 rbi, 2 assist, 1 double play game. for the losers, holl drove in all three runs while jermemy battyani tipped in three double plays. |
| JUKEBOX HERO 2 BUKKAKE TSUNAMI 13 this version of jukebox, though sporting just as impressive a lineup, just couldn't duplicate the success of their previous edition, and fell by eleven to the rollercoaster ride bukkake tsunami. with ben elliott, kip corbett and pj nespor, three of the biggest names in the business, joining jukebox taskmaster dennis lackey, the yellow mesh looked to run their winning streak to... 2, but unfortunately caught bukkake on one of their upswings. on a bukkake upswing, ben smith generally hits homers (he drilled three for 6 rbi's). also, pat nespor plays well (5 for 8, well above his season average), plackey knocks down some outside shots (2 homers and an rbi triple) and big rando anchors the defense (3 double plays) with all of that happening for th tsunami, and nothing dropping through for jukebox, the game was out of hand as early as the second as the bukkake lead was already 6 not moments after the scrum. from there, everyone at the court just prayed to be put out of their misery by a mercy rule, but because the teams involved were bukkake tsunami and jukebox hero, that obviously didn't happen. dennis lackey once again carried his team, going 4 for 7 with 2 double plays. corbett added a solo jack in the fifth, his only hit on the contest. TEAM WET DREAM 13 LIVE SEX CELEBRATION 1 even without their best player, team wet dream continued their dominance over live sex celebration, earning their third mercy rule win in as many games against their rivals. with terry shernisky in prison with mclelland, all the cards were stacked against katie kelly, aryn christman and lee nespor. luckily, they caught live sex in their poorest performance of the year, and got the preverbial "game of his life" from nespor. nespor, a career .200 hitter, somehow willed in 7 of 11 shots with 4 homers while plating 6. personally, i think that stat right there is proof that nate tomko is a cursed man, destined to get the absolute best game out of his opponents whenever he steps onto a baseketball court. need more proof? go check out mike morco's stat line against live sex versus his stat line against wet dream from earlier.. anyway, everyone on live sex sucks for seven innings, while everyone on wet dream rocks the roof off, end result: 13-1 shellacking. katie kelly went 9 for 12 from the leadoff hole for her wet dreamers, driving in 3. christman added 4 rbi. for the losers, tomko tipped in 5 double plays, which is the same number of hits the entire team managed. ugh. CASHDOLLAR & ASSOCIATES 22 THE FRANKENBITCHES 8 sorry, frank and cash, but it's 5:15am and i'm tuckered out. apparantly nate's curse momentarily shifted to someone wearing orange, because mike moroco went bananas to the tune of 5 homers and 14 rbi for cashdollar and associates. biddle added 5 double plays. for the losers, bryan frankovich tipped in 8 double plays and drove in 6 runs. he's played well this year. PLAYER OF THE WEEK: mike moroco, cashdollar: 10 homers and 28 rbi is a lot, especially when you play like shit for a game. GAME OF THE WEEK: jukebox/minori-team: it's not often that jukebox is the heavy favorite. it's not often that all three lackey's play together. we need to make both happen more often. TEAM OF THE WEEK: fucking team wet dream 2006 SCHEDULE/RESULTS |