FACT OR FICTION 2007, WEEK 10
Starring SBL Hall of Famers Jamie Moroco, Jon Olsavsky, Nate Tomko and future Hall of Famer Matt Mcclelland
1) NATE TOMKO WILL NOT WIN THE PLAYER OF THE YEAR AWARD THIS SEASON
Jamie: fiction. as long as people vote for what counts. like looking at the stats and seeing tomko on top across the board, as usual, except in average where he falls short by only a few points. and he is always there for his team. there really is no contest.
Matt: Fact. I said last week that Nate and Terry were neck and neck in my mind. After last week, I have to give the edge to Terry. In a league that craves parity, seeing someone other than Nate hoist the Ernest every three years or so can keep the league fresh (even though it might not be totally fair). Terry also has the notion that he has less of a supporting cast to work with. Of course, should Tomko bury Frankovich again this week and KTO get upset, I may have to reconsider yet again.
Jon: fiction - Despite the fact that Terry is playing like a beast, and has gotten closer to Nate's throne than anyone before him, his goofy helmet-hair is back, so he has no chance of a usurpation. Additionally, Nate performs better under pressure than anyone hoisting a poop-stained baseketball. He'll find a way to hold on.
Nate: Fiction. Let me start off by saying that I love that there’s actually a debate about who the player of the year is going to be this late in the season. Sure, we’ve probably asked this question after week nines before, and someone’s probably made a futile, sad, last ditch effort to make a claim that someone other than myself actually earned the Earnest… but this year a serious case can and should be made for Terry Shernisky. He’s practically carried his team on his back all season, and to put up the numbers he has batting behind Kippy is nothing short of miraculous. There’s no doubt he’s been the best player in the league over the last three or four weeks. However, I don’t think there’s enough separation one way or the other to say either Terry or I will take home the POTY right now. I’ve got the better supporting cast (though his team does regularly put up 25+ runs… which I don’t get at all), but he’s got about 30 more at bats. He’s got the better batting average, I’ve got the better defense and psyche out numbers. Everything else is pretty much equal. I could definitely see having to go halfsies with Terry on the Earnest for the next 9 months.
Oh, and the best part of all this debate? Frankovich isn’t in it!!!!
2) HOT FUZZ DEFEATING
THE JUKEBOX HERO DOUBLE BLUFFS LAST WEEK WAS THE BIGGEST SBL UPSET OF ALL TIME
Jamie: fiction. i think bukkake tsunami making
it to the finals was a bigger upset. while sj2b was the greatest team of all
time, their chemistry hasnt been in place since that season and its been such a
long time, its not surprising that it took them a while to get into the groove
again. so basically its not that hot fuzz is better, it was just bad timing.
Matt: Fiction. I'll admit that it was a huge win for Frankovich to somewhat exercise the mohawked Tomko monkey on his back, but I don't think a team as talented as Hot Fuzz could ever really upset anyone. I also wish I'd have gotten a chance to bat in front of Nate. I like to think things would have been a little different.
Jon: fiction - This one is easy. If I hadn't missedd like 19 shots, this wouldn't even have been an issue. I think that whenever I play against Brian my body is so overcome with lust that I am rendered incapable of performing... Notice that I did pretty well the rest of the day. Plus, you can't just throw us all together and have us become the double bluffs. Regardless of the roster, we were still jukebox, playing as jukebox, with the goals of jukebox. Personally, I don't hold the same grudge against hot fuzz. Terry's team last year was far superior. Though, for the record, Gavin loooves playing like a dick.
Nate: Fiction. How can Jukebox losing to the best team in the
league ever be an upset?
3) TEAM DOUBLE STUFF ADDING
GEORGE KOVAC WAS A MORE IMPORTANT LATE-SEASON PICKUP THAN THE LADIES ADDING
JARED CLAYTON
Jamie: fact. i am assuming that george will come
back, while clayton living in texas or wherever might prevent him from
returning. and the ladies have proven that they can win without clayton, while
double stuff, while they definitely have the ability, now have some extra
security with all those home runs george makes.
Matt: Fact. I'm not sure how the ruling on his playoff eligibility will go, but he is the real deal. His addition to the team along with the way he energized aryn and Jaime make that team totally different, especially in the physicality department.
Jon: fact - Though he really loved wearing out the pavement on the spot on Pj's driveway right behind that same homer line. Without him, aryn would be sitting only a game in front of jukebox right now and she doesn't deserve that. Jared Clayton's addition served only to make me mad.
Nate: Fiction.
George is way sweet at baseketball, and it’s a cryin’ shame he didn’t show up a
few weeks earlier so I wouldn’t have to write Gavin St. John’s name down for
rookie of the year next weekend. But team Double Stuff still has Biddle, Big
Whitey and Dank on it’s roster, not to mention Bob Spohn (who was in said rookie
race til last Sunday) and if they come in tact TDS is one of the better squads
in the league. PJ & the Ladies desperately needed a pick-me-up for their
barren, largely untalented roster, and adding a hall of famer and one of the
best five players ever to set foot in the SBL was gigantic for them. Only days
before, someone mentioned the possibility on this very website about Jukebox
actually slipping past PJ&L for the final playoff spot. Seems a bit sad
now, doesn’t it Ben? Clayton says he’s not going back to Texas til the
championship. If he meant it, we could have another tsunami on our hands.
4) THE TUBBIETRONIC
SUPERDROME IS A GOOD SBL COURT
Jamie: fact. while every court has its own
charm, something about this place makes baseketball feel at home. while it's
definitely not my best court, i think that its a great place to play. playing
baseketball on a level gymnasium court seems wrong anyway, and since this is
the polar opposite, it seems to fit.
Matt: Fact. Not playing at the superdrome once a year would be like tearing down Fenway.
Jon: hung jury - It has a nice, expansive scrumming field, but that backboard is a monstrosity. At least, though, it did remind me that I know how to make shots without it. Plus, when you're in the garage, its really hard to follow the game, especially with the caucophony coming from behind you. I don't mind playing there, if only because I get to see Roxy.
Nate: Fact. I didn’t exactly play great last weekend, but I’ve had plenty of days at the ‘drome where I went as nuts as Sherry did. I hold no ill will to the sunniest, gravelliest, steepest court in the SBL. It’s right up there with Ass Clown Outdoor Arena as one of the true hallowed venues of baseketball.
5) GAVIN ST. JOHN IS
THE BEST ROOKIE NOT NAMED TERRY SHERNISKY TO SUIT UP SINCE 2002
Jamie: fact. sure. i looked back through the
seasons and found it hard to remember how certain people who were rookies at
the time actually played. its hard to distinguish how a player is now vs how
they were at the beginning. while some great players have joined the league
since '02, not many have been as good as gavin during their first year. i am
actually more surprised that bryan has actually given him the chance to play to
show this.
Matt: Fiction. Pat O'Mahoney was way better…and had a decent haircut.
Jon: fiction - I'm not sure who I would name in his placee, but I tend to be less concerned about statistics when determining people's values in baseketball. After watching him punch my girl Katie in the face and then stuff a pike in my solar plexus a few minutes later, I'd have to say that, baseketball-wise, he can suck my dick.
Nate: Fiction.
It absolutely butchers my insides to say anything good about him, but Jeff
Knight was waaay better than Gavin. And so were Matt Mcclelland and Jon Biddle
in 2003, and maybe even Frankovich that year. Oh, and Katie Kelly, Aryn
Christman and Ben Smith were all better in 2004. And George Kovac is the best
rookie in the SBl this year, but he won’t get enough playing time to earn the
votes. Lots of people have been better than Gavin. Who came up with this stupid
question, and who in their right mind would go with fact? Probably Pat Nespor.
6) YOU HATE HOT FUZZ,
TOO
Jamie: fiction. you have to care enough about
something to hate it. i just ignore them really. though i do think that
sometimes bfrank gets a little too intense.
Matt: Fact. I'm actually a closet Frankovich fan, and I like most of the other players on the team as well. But, you can't help but dislike the win-at-all costs way that they run the team. To have Seth Salcedo show up and not play is one of the biggest travesties that has gone down this year. I like to win myself, but they can't continue to do it while screwing people like Pat Nespor and Seth.
Jon: fiction - Even with the aforementioned distaste for one-fifth of their roster, I don't feel particularly ill towards this team. The only person who's caught more shit throughout his entire baseketball campaign than Brian is Ted. Ted, at least, has that "will he eat me?" underlying threat to his favor. He gets cocky and whines like a pussy once in a while when he plays, but overall, Brian is a great chap. I don't know how anyone could not like Mikey, and Big Mike is as un-assuming as they come. Pat doesn't speak much after that trachiotomoy, and I do like Gavin, though he's probably the first person I've ever seen roid-rage in slip-on shoes.
Nate: Fact.
Who doesn’t? I hear even Mrs. Frankovich was pulling for the Double Bluffs
last weekend.
7) THIS HAS BEEN THE
BEST SBL SEASON IN A LONG, LONG TIME
Jamie: fact i guess. the league had some really
bad times for a while there. basically the middle years. '01 and '02 will
always have a special place in my heart, but i must admit that this year i dont
mind driving home for baseketball as much has i have in the past 3. last year
was definitely a year where things were getting better but i have had a lot of
fun this year, and i think the teams are nicely formed so that most games arent
pointless to play; there is actually a contest to be had.
Matt: Fact. After letting my team down at the end of last summer, I have had a lot of fun this year.
Jon: n/a - Since I've missed about half of it, I do tthink my opinion is valued. Like every other year its had its ups and downs. Big Rando has been there every week. Thats a plus.
Nate: Fact. Hell yeah. Need some reasons? Here you go: Salcedo’s back, Ben Smith and Co. are doing a schweet ass job of pumping out the articles, we have a genuine player of the year race, Clayton is playing again and he’s really likeable now, Jamie Fabian is pretty much the best person ever and he’s not only showing up every week but quite possibly putting the dangler in A.C., we’ve had 2 on 2 and 3 on 3 all-girl scrums, we’ve got three times the grand slam lines as in previous years, Ben Smith and Kip invented a new stat category and I’m owing that one too, everyone’s done a bang up job of offering up courts and bringing refreshments, I have two teammates I can count on to put runs on the board even when I’m sucking, Jami Caldwell came to baseketball one week and she’s hot, PJ & the Mutherfucking Ladies are once again a team and they’ve thrown shoes twice already, beer, smuggler scales, and Jeremy Battyani’s awesome defense.