Greetings, fellow SBLers! Can you believe that Sunday will mark just five weeks until Opening Day? By this time next week, team names should be in and the schedule should be out. Ok, go take a cold shower. I'll wait...
I'm going to do all of you other captains a favor today. I am going to tell you what your lineup should be this season. So listen up if you want your team to score 20 runs a game like the TOTS. Ok, so maybe we didn't score 20 runs a game. The real number was probably a mere 18, which is still better than any of you could do without my assistance. I will actually have to calculate that total...a little something for next week. Ok, let's take a team-by-team journey into yet another 2007 season preview.
PJ & the Ladies:
1. PJ Nespor
2. Billy Weisberg
3. Dennis Lackey
4. Big Rando
You could actually switch Rando and PJ if you wanted. Rando just seems more appropriate as a cleanup hitter than at leadoff, though he could do the job if needed. You could switch Billy and Dennis too, but my guess is that Billy will be the more consistent offensive player this season. This team is one obviously not built around putting up huge offensive numbers. On certain days, a lineup like this could surprise some people and put up some 15-20 run games. However, it will be defense, and I don't necessarily mean conventional defense. Intimidating opponents, hockey fights, and random depancings and ball taps are all tools this team will use to take opponents out of their games. Welcome back, PJ & the Ladies!
The Sparkling Wiggles:
1. Katie Kelly
2. Nate Tomko
3. Danielle Hennon
4. Pat Lackey
This is perhaps the easiest lineup to predict. Obviously, Katie Kelly is a true leadoff hitter. I don't think I've ever seen Nate bat somewhere other than second in the order, and quite franky, I see no reason for him to bat elsewhere. Danielle at three and Pat Lackey at four makes sense, based on the fact that Danielle is another leadoff hitter, and Pat did have that 100 RBI season two years ago. Plus, since he's the most likely candidate from this lineup to miss some weeks, you can insert a bench player into this lineup without it affecting the top of the order.
Team .273:
1. Shelley Goodpastor
2. Jon Olsavsky
3. Terry Hall
4. Lee Nespor
Shelley is the obvious leadoff. If you disagree, you need punched in the face. Terry or Jon could be interchanged, but I feel that you would want a legend like Jon O. batting more times per game than Terry Hall, and that's no knock on him. Jon O. hits for a higher average and is more likely to get assists for the lower average guys below him. As for Lee: Lee Nespor + 3 players who have good short games + batting cleanup = opprotunities for grand slams. And if he misses, and there's about a 75% that he will, Shelly will be glad to hit it for him.
The Pasty Whites:
1. Greg Lackey
2. Terry Shernisky
3. Tony Mastrian
4. Kip Corbett
Being that you don't want an unproven rookie batting in the top half of the lineup (at least not early on), this lineup makes the most sense. Greg Lackey is best suited in most any lineup at leadoff. Terry Shernisky, like Nate Tomko, just belongs at two. I put Tony at three because this is the bottom half of the lineup and I believe him to be a better shooter than Kip.
Train on Aryn Christman:
1. Aryn Christman
2. Dank
3. Jon Biddle
4. Ben Elliott
If the top two produce like we know they can, this could be a formidible lineup. Biddle and Ben arren't terrible offensive players either, but Dank could really break out one of these years. Unfortunately, if he doesn't abide by the SBL's sustance abuse policy, that "breaking out" could be referring to escaping from prision than becoming one of the legue's elite. Still, I don't see this team being a huge offensive threat, better than PJ & the Ladies, but I doubt them being better that many other non-Jukebox Hero teams. However, with solid defense and Aryn Christman to distract, they might not need a whole lot of offense.
Team Awesome:
1. Jamie Moroco
2. Matt McClelland
3. Ben Smith
4. Ray Cataline
So any personal issues regarding players on this team are solved. Jamie Moroco is the obvious choice for leadoff hitter, though Mac can step in when Jamie can't be there. Mac at number two makes sense over Ben because he is a more consistent hitter. If Ben is having a good day, he has two .600 hitters in front of him to bang out a countless number of RBIs. This also protects him on one of his bad days and gives Mac the opprotunity to knock in some runs (which he can do). Homerun derby runner-up Ray Cataline may be the weakest and most unproven offensive player, so he goes in at number four.
Team B-Frank:
1. Mike Frankovich
2. Bryan Frankovich
3. Mikey Moroco
4. Pat Nespor
I agree with Mac. Mike Frankovich should bat leadoff for this team. Although the talent level drops a bit after the K-Y combo and some may say bat Mikey first, I feel that they need a table setter. M-Frank is bette suited than the youngest Nespor. Young Patrick should have plenty of opprotunities for RBIs since he'll actually be batting with people on base this year. Rest assured that Bryan will tweak his lineup and do whatever it takes to win, because if he doesn't do it this year, he may be "waitng 'till the end of time" to hoist the left-eye. Yes...two Meat Loaf references in the same week...to the same song!!
You're welcome.
Before I go, I have a couple of links for you to check out. The first is "Drew Bledsoe" commenting on his retirement. If you have never heard of Drew Bledsoe's blog and tonyhomo.com, I feel for you. The second is "Paradise By the Dashboard Light" by Meat Loaf. It's a good song. You'll enjoy it.
Burgers.