So I guess March started out like a lion. And depending on how far you go south or north from here, you'll either run into a blizzard like we had a couple weeks back, or perhaps some tornadoes (and you really have to feel for those people in Enterprise Alabama). Lucky for you readers, this column isn't about lions and lambs, but about how awesome I am with some Frankovich burns sprinkled in. Well, I guess it's also about entertaining you, the loyal SBL fan. This week, I'm going to spend some time talking about rivalries in the league as well as an exclusive interview with former Player of the Year, Matt McClelland.

Rivalries in the SBL? Do they exist? Well, sort of. Think Nate Tomko versus PJ & the Ladies, until Nate became a lady himself and led them to an SBL championship in 2005. Think the Serbian Jew Double Bluffs versus the entire league in 2004. Thnk of Billy Weisberg versus yours truly when Mr. Weisberg actually talks a little smack back to me at the bar (though the two of us will face new rivals it seems in 2007, but more on that later). I'm sure there were other rivalries before my 2004 arrival to the league. Maybe Tomko/Clayton, for instance. There's no need to express how important key rivalries can be to any league, so I won't go there. All I can do is briefly describe some of the top rivalries to spice up the league in 2007, keeping in mind that since this is a friendly league that these rivalries are to be kept that way. No fighting off-court. That means you, Pat Nespor!

Nate Tomko vs. Big Rando Knight: Here, you have two men who have been around since day one and are no strangers to each other on the court. And Rando finally earned his first victories against Nate last season (including the playoff series victory), so this can finally be considered a true rivalry. Add in the possibility of Rando reforming PJ & the Ladies. Add in the fact that Rando's team was the reason why Tomko was shut out of the SBL finals for only the second time in his career. Add in the fact that they share an apartment together. Add in the fact that there's probably some sexual tension between the two. Yup, those are the ingredients for a spicy rivalry sandwich. Mmmmm, mmmmmmm. This should be a fun one to watch in 2007, and may actually turn out to be the marquee rivalry in the league.

Ben Smith vs. Bryan Frankovich: The war of words has heated up on the site recently, and by "the site", I mean this column. Even without the war or words, the elements are still there to supply for a great rivalry. It is true that my teams have bounced his from the playoffs all three years I've been here. Hoosier Daddy, eliminated in the finals in 2004. Team Koopa Troopa, eliminated in the playoff semifinals in 2005. The Franenbitches, eliminated in the playoff finals last year, in what was a great series (though I can't say how it ranks on an all-time best series list, but I could do some research and save that topic for another day). One can also point out that B-Frank's teams have gotten the better of mine in the regular season, so you can't say that I've dominated him or anything. Needless to say, Mr. Frankovich (as he said in his interview last week) is poised to reverse his fortunes and is not afraid to do a little bit of trash talking. All of that goes without saying that the two will be captains in the same conference and made that way by President Tomko to ensure that things heat up over the summer. This one could get interesting, because if the two cross paths in the post-season, the victor could very well be the one hoisting the left eye at season's end.

Lee Nespor vs. Billy Weisberg: When named a captain for the 2007 season, Lee promised to "beat the Hebrew" out of Billy. Well, Lee Nespor, you might as well have just decalred war, as the "Hebrew Hammer" will have none of that. Hell, I'm sure Billy has responded with a few lame comments already. Take that, former Homerun Derby champ! There is a bit of history here. Wind back the calendar to 2002 where you'll find Billy's Weenises upset of Lee's Gaylem Fagisms in the first round of the playoffs (or maybe go to the main page and click on the link for the 2002 season). Since then, both men have won a championship. Perhaps one will be motivated to win a second in order to obtain bragging rights, or at least do all that is humanly possible to prevent the other from winning. This rivalry doesn't have as much behind it as the two mentioned above, but you never know what will happen in the SBL. This could get heated come July and August.

Nate Tomko vs. Terry Shernisky: Two years ago, Terry couldn't beat Nate and Nate won a championship as a member of PJ & the Ladies. Last year, Nate couldn't beat Terry and Terry's Wet Dream Team won it all. Throw in all the trash-talking over the past couple of years, and you have something worthy of this list. Sherry knows that if he wants to be recognized as the best in this league, that he needs to get by Tomko first just as Nate knows that to keep his spot at the top, he needs to stop players like Sherry from taking that spot. And hey, who can forget that funny picture of Katie Kelly that Nate posted not too long ago (click here for a reminder). Of course, we all know that Mr. Shernisky will do whatever he can to defend Katie's honor (because chivalry is not dead, folks), and beating Nate will do just that and go a long way to keep Katie satisfied, which will in turn keep Terry satisfied. You get the point. There is much more talking off the court and much more walking on the court between these two. No business is finished here.

Katie Kelly vs. Aryn Christman: It is very likely that the two will not be playing alongside each other this year. They've been team mates all three years they've been in the league, winning championships with the Serbian Jew Double Bluffs (2004) and Wet Dream Team (2006). They also lost in a finals berth when they played on Train on Terry Shernisky back in 2005. Both are great competitors, and one can only assume that when two great players play together for so long, when they finally cease to play together, a natural rivalry will be born. Who is the better player, and more importantly, who is the best female player in the league other than Shelly Goodpastor? Will one of these two surpass Shelley? Also, Aryn’s first experience as an SBL captain will serve as an added twist. Of course, I could be wrong and these two will end up playing together, but wouldn’t it be more interesting if they didn’t? Think about it.

Terry Shernisky vs. Ben Smith: Last, but certainly not least, on today’s list is a rivalry which was born by way of this article. Ever since my article a couple weeks back, there has been a small war of words between the two superstars. This war has even spilled over to our Facebook walls, so you know that this is serious business. I mean, who can forget this picture? Not Terry. And who can forget Terry’s subsequent threats of raining homers on my team all season long? Not I. Bring it on, Terry Shernisky. Bring it on. And if you want some on-court drama between these two, look no further than last year’s finals. Think I forgot about that? No way. I’ll have my revenge this year.

Of course, there are other rivalries that could develop, and if you want to aid in that, just let me know. I'll set you up with an interview where you can talk as much trash as you want about whoever. Want to start a rivalry with Matt McClelland? Done! Want to start one with Jamie Morocco? Done! Then there are pre-existing rivalries that weren't mentioned (Billy Weisberg and myself, Matt McClelland and Bryan Frankovich to name a couple). There is plenty of heat to go around this summer.

Well, that's all for this week. To read my exclusive interview with Matt McClelland, click on the link below. It's a good read, so I would strongly suggest spending the extra five minutes. Other than that, I should be back next week to talk about what is sure to be another busy week in the SBL. And for the record, yes I saw that Nate posted his player value rankings on the site, but have not yet had the time to look over then thoroughly to comment. It could be a topic to talk about next week, but my guess is that something more important will go down and my focus will be on that. Anyways, have a good weekend and please refrain from drunk driving and unprotected sex. Peace out, SBL!

P.S. Have you gotten rid of your crocs yet?

Home or interview with mac ...The choice is yours, and yours alone!