FACT OR
FICTION 2007, VOLUME 1
Matt Mcclelland vs. Ben
Elliott
1) OKAY, THIS IS THE YEAR. BRYAN FRANKOVICH IS EITHER GOING TO WIN A
PLAYER OF THE YEAR TROPHY OR SBL WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP IN 2007
MATT: Fact. The reunion of an all
grown up K-Y connection and a decent
supporting cast gives Frankovich his best shot at hoisting some
hardware this year. His team
has to be the favorite going into the
year, and he may finally have
the cajones to dethrone dictator
Nate
Tomko. It's Frankovich's
year….one of these has got to happen this
year.
BEN: FICTION: To quote my favorite childhood fortune telling
device, Highly Unlikely. It seems that Frankovich has
this curse. No matter how far he goes or how hard he plays, there is always the
presence of Steve Bartman. Most recently Rando Knight took over the role of Bartman,
crushing Frankobitch's chances at a championship.
Plus when the whole league "secretly" hates you, its
going to have it's toll on even the strongest of wills. But nonetheless, good
luck Brian… THIS JUST IN, FRANKOVICH SUCKS AGAIN AS KENNEDY BOYS LOSE TO DUBOIS
CENTRAL CATHOLIC 51-50. fag.
2) PJ & THE LADIES WILL WIN MORE
THAN 5 GAMES THIS SEASON
MATT: Fact. There
is no way a team with Rando, PJ and Billy is going to
be the laughing stock of the league… even if they want to be.
BEN: FACT: the ladies are the scariest squad in the SBL. No matter
who they have on their team, they intimidate opponents. There is something
about the hammer and sickle that strikes fear in the hearts of all. Wait, I
actually just looked at their draft picks. Add clayton
and ando to that list and you will have at least six
people that are totally unreliable.. Ja Bidd lives in Boston, last I
heard Joel was in Montana or some shit playing with an abacus, BURGER??, Jimmy
"Frontmaster Flex" Holl
is to team Big Rando what Steve Mentrek
was to the MILF hunters. And Offut may show up, only
if President Tomko decides to buy him fellatios. PJ, Rando,
and Billy are true to PJ&L, they are the heart of the hammer and sickle.
These three legends of SBL will win 5 games, the sideshow they call a team will
fail to even show up.
3) THE DEEPEST TEAM IN THE LEAGUE ARE
DANIELLE HENNON’S SPARKLING WIGGLES, WHO WILL REGULARLY USE AT LEAST 7 PLAYERS
IN THEIR LINEUP
MATT: Fact. I can't
see any other team that comes close.
BEN: Fiction. With a
line-up that could go Farrell, Hennon, Tomko, Kelly,
you do not need to rotate your team. Although you have seven players, you have
5 exceptional players. I don't think there is a need to play all the wiggles,
this could prove to be beneficial to Hennon as she
has many hidden weapons she can pull out when the time is right (P. Lackey, PDA
Battyanyi). And of course we all know that Condo is
going to be benched for most of the year, he was in the Army, it's obvious he doesn't
have the intelligence to play BASEketball.
4) THE BEST DRAFTING JOB WAS DONE BY
FIRST-YEAR CAPTAIN ARYN CHRISTMAN
MATT: Fiction. I'm
sorry, but taking Jaime Fabian over the likes of Lenny
Crist, Seth Salcedo,
and Steve Condo (to name a few) crushes that
theory. I think she needed a
couple regulars and didn't really get
them. Luckily, she's smoking
hot and could convince any man to do most
anything, including come to baseketball.
BEN: FACT. What the young, sexy Christman
did was monumental, she brought back the core of XDEATHX, putting together the
likes of Billy Piccotto, Jon Biddle, DanK and myself is something that
needed to be done. This group along with Christman's
natural talent, Fabian's finger shaking psych-outs, and the addition of Cassie
the ASSASSIN Pyle, and Tara "My boyfriend is old enough to be my
father" Shawley is by far the most well rounded
team in the league.
5) THE WORST DRAFTING JOB WAS DONE BY
SEVEN YEAR VET BILLY WEISBERG, WHO FILLED IN FOR PJ&L TASKMASTER RANDO
KNIGHT
MATT: Fact. Not
that they really need anyone else on their team….but man
that was awful. The only pick
I'm with was that of Joel. Let's just
hope Billy doesn't take more
than six vacations this year.
BEN: FACT: Although Rando, PJ, and
Billy are dependable for BASEketball, Weisberg picked a bunch of people that may show up. Even
if they do show up, it's not like we will notice.
6) LENNY CRIST WILL BE
MATT: Fiction.
Lenny was perhaps the most heartbroken when the Ladies sold
out in 2005. With Billy Weisburg, the mastermind behind 2005, back in
lady red- I can see LC still
being bitter.
BEN: FACT: Well at least I hope so. If Crist
shows up clad in a shirt other than red, we may immediately tell him to go
home. No captain in their right mind would keep Lenny away from his roots.
7) BEN SMITH WILL BE THE SBL REGULAR
SEASON HOMERUN CHAMPION
MATT: Fiction.
Perhaps a streakier shooter than Jon Biddle, Smithers
is
notorious for having huge
days…then crapping the bed the next. Until
he can find the consistency
factor, I'd be a fool to take him over
Tomko, Shernisky,
or Frankovich.
BEN: FICTION: Is this seriously a question?