| 5- LAST WEEK WAS THE MOST FUN WEEK OF BASEKETBALL EVER |
| fiction. the best of the season, mos def. most chaotic? seemingly, yes. but best ever will probably go down in my books as the tour de kurt. with people all over the valley getting their cars swallowed up by floods the likes of which not seen since the days of the seven plagues, baseketball perservered, and we had a hell of a time while doing it. the turnout was small, but adequate. when the day begins with a completely unrelated exchange of negative sentiment which cause a raucous uproar, i'm all for it. when ted tries to punch a girl, that's even more entertaining. when rode-gang almost beats him up for it, that's funny too. when 1/3 of the sbl is drunk during gameplay... well, you see where i am going. from golf ball scrums, to a humorlessly unforgiving hoop, to pantless little boys, to joel lepak, this was the crowning glory of sbl gameplay in my book. who else agrees that baby s should be brought back as a special guest referee this year? |
| 6- IN A BATTLE OF BASEKETBALL FAMILIES, THE BIDDLES WOULD REIGN SUPREME OVER THE MOROCOS, THE NESPORS AND THE LACKEYS. |
| fiction. this is just a laughable claim. here's the thing: the biddles go out first among these gangs, simply because a well-placed shot to either's pelvis is going to rupture something- the combined weight of both biddles is somewhere in the vicinity of a grain of salt. outnumbering the remaining posse's, one may interpret the lackey's as the clear-cut remaining favorite, but this is not so. pj nespor hates emo kids: he eats them on his cereal, he flosses with them before bed. as part of the new communist order, pj is used to fighting for every scrap of bread tossed near him as well. watch him apply this vicious survival of the fittest instinct to the entanglement with the young heartthrobs. dennis lackey gets a hammer to the chicken leg, pat lackey gets a sickle across his nose, and pj simply eats greg lackey. lee nespor spend the duration searching for still-big-for-a-week ted gilliland to "question" him about his lack of playing time this season. ah, but the morocos... alas, poor phillip, let us now lament your tragic end. you see, chin moroco has finally come of age, and with this maturity comes the passing down of family power. i don't find it neccesary to continue this line of inquiry. phillip and lee become bricks in penguin stadium. :( |
| fiction. well...maybe. this statement is very generic. what sort of battle are we referring to here? is it a baseketball battle? a battle of wits? a thunderdome-style battle to the end? a battle of the bands? in the style of fellow FoF-er jon olsavsky, i'll cover all possible bases and write a novella. in basketball, i'd have to give it to team bidd. they're the only team to feature 2 all-stars, though there a distinct possibility that could change this year. i doubt pj would even play alongside lee for 9 innings, and the nespors are the only real competition to the twin skinny's. in a battle of wits, i'm taking the lackeys. i heard pat was really smart, and usually thats a hereditary thing. there are exceptions, so the nespors won't be in this fight. nor will the moroco's or the biddles, as in all three familes the i.q. seems to lower with the age of the sibling. no offense to jon, lee, or mikey, but i'm going solely on dumb things, a market which you've cornered. thunderdome battle? nespors all the way. pj does one-armed pullups in his basement and trained for an entire semester in 219 wilkinson with mike "mickey" fareri of philly. i've personally seen him pummel joel lepak and billy weisberg within 10 minutes of each other. and lee's got that future serial killer look going for him. all three other families are just outclassed. (unless we get into parents or uncles with "baby", "pussy" or "vito" in their names) battle of the bands? again, the nespors. pj's is/was in savage pastry, the greatest local band not named aphasia. and i think lee was actually in aphasia. wasn't he the one wearing the candycane stockings and growling all the time? so i guess i'd have to take the nespors, who clamied two out of four of the possible battles. the moroco's, tho they didn't win any one battle, placed second just because i like jamie and feel bad for always beating up mikey. |
| fact. there are a few that come to mind... opening day in the first season was money, that week at k-units last season was good after i took care of business, and though my team bit it hard, playing the entire first two rounds of the playoffs in a monsoon last season was fun, but nothing compares to last week. first off, we were at a frat house. second, it wasn't just any frat house, it was the scence of the most savage beating of my life. third, we had no worries about offending anyone's parents or neighbors, except maybe a few amish, and everyone knows they don't count as people anyway. jon biddle gave me a cd full of pictures and video from last week. word cannot describe how money it was. i invite everyone to my place this week to watch and reminisce. bring beer. |