| 3) BILLY WEISBERG IS OVERRATED |
| . |
| fact or fiction 2006 pat lackey vs. jamie moroco |
| 1) MIKE FRANKOVICH IS A BETTER PLAYER THAN LEE NESPOR |
| pat: FICTION. this one is actually pretty tough as lee is good for more homers and is maybe a little more reliable while mike is good for a higher average. i'm taking lee soley on the fact that whoever sherry doesn't drive in on wet dream (and come on, we all know the bases will be full of teenage girls when that team plays this year) will be left ro lee to homer in. |
| 2) BUKKAKE TSUNAMI IS THE GREATEST SBL TEAM NAME OF ALL TIME |
| pat: FICTION. having been a member of the two most graphically names sbl teams of all time (team donkey punch and now the tsunami) i have to say that i prefer the team names that make you think before you laugh rather than just cover your face in a wave of sexual deviancy. though this way works, too. editors note: if pat thinks that team donkey punch was one of the two most graphic names in sbl history, he must not know what "fupalooting" is. |
| pat: FICTION. you might look at the numbers and think to yourself, "come on, billy's in the hall of fame? seriously, who's next? pat lackey?" but you have to realize that, before last year, billy had played on some putrid sbl teams that had all overperformed. i mean, in my time in the league he's been on the weenises strike back and teddy's short bus all-stars. somehow, billy managed to will wsb into the finals with much younger and much less good versions of myself, dennis, mikey and b-frank, and he managed to suckle 8 wins out of the short bus. plus, he helped pj & the ladies to a championship last year. he's like reggie sanders, always in the playoffs and always producing (except for when reggie gets greedy and signs contracts with teams like the pirates or royals... not even reggie sanders can help the pirates and the royals). |
| 4) JUKEBOX HERO WILL HAVE A BETTER CAPTAIN IN DENNIS LACKEY THAN IT DID IN DANIELLE HENNON |
| pat: FACT. this is no slight to danielle, but jukebox will certainly benefit from a player that can focus his full efforts on the team with stars in his eyes. first off, dennis is (was?) the consummate weenis, he was born to wear the yellow. yellow mesh is now the next closest thing in the league. plus, when he plays for jukebox he can forget about things like double plays and boxing out and concentrate straight up on what he does best, psyching the hell out of everyone in the league. his offensive stats might suffer a little, but this is a match made in heaven. |
| 5) THE WEEK ONE GAME MOST LIKELY TO END IN A BRAWL IS BUKKAKE TSUNAMI/LIVE SEX CELEBRATION |
| pat: FACT. i don't know if this one needs any more explanation. nate and rando facing off for the first time on an sbl court since bringing glory to pj & the ladies? me, kurt, kippy, ben smith, jamie and pat nespor added into the mix, just for fun? special guest referee stone cold steve austin? can this end in any way other than an all-out baseketball kicking, scoreboard tossing, hockey fighting, humping, b-frank in a dumpster melee? better save this one for last. except that then no one would be around to see it. hell, we should kick the season off with this one. |
| 6) ASS CLOWN OUTDOOR ARENA IS THE BEST VENUE IN THE LEAGUE |
| pat: FACT. yankee stadium, fenway park, boston gardens, lambeau field, madison square garden, and the ass clown outdoor arena, the legendary sports venues of america. |
| jamie: FICTION. a better player is not simply defined by statistics. a better player also makes the game more enjoyable for spectators. not that mike makes it worse, but lee shines in that respect. but, if it's statistics you want, it's statistics youll get let's not forget about the 2003 homerun derby. lee was fourth overall in homeruns last year, and only four behind frankovich in rbi's. neither of them are bad players, but lee is better here.. |
| jamie: FICTION. although i do agree i thought it was clever once i googles the definition of bukkake, there have been many more names in the past just as, if not more clever. names with a backstory or a pop culture reference always hold a special place in my heart. definately better than any names last year, though. and it definately makes you laugh once you get over the grossness |
| jamie: FICTION. he is under a lot of pressure most of the time. i can tell you that he pulled the weenises out of the shitter many times. although being the best player on the weenises probably isn't saying much, he does the best that he can. |
| jamie: FICTION. dennis is too competitive to be the captain of jukebox hero and will put too much pressure on the players. jukebox is a team that gets to play because their actual teams won't let them, which is why danielle was originally captain. but after last year, when her real team let her play, and now being the captain of a legit team, she will have that playing time. danielle wasn't very forceful as a captain and if you know her thats no surprise. she just wanted everyone to have fun and let people play. things could get ugly this year. however, a little competiton never hurt anyone and depending on jukebox's lineups, they could see more than 4 wins in their future. |
| jamie: yes, but only because these are the two teams that have the primary fighters. any team with nate on it wiull probably have its games end in a brawl. not that this is a bad thing, when i think of brawls in baseketball.... usually... they are of the hockeyfight nature... save that time condo came back last summer. and i can think of a few more, but who's counting? bukkake tsunami vs. live sex celebration translates to rando vs. nate, hich seems to be the most likely to end in an all-in-good-fun brawl. |
| jamie: FACT. although it may not be where it all started, and it may not be a place where i've had the best games of my life, when i thin about starting the season, and when i think about baseketball, ass clown is where it's at. although it's the only place i can think of where we had to stop because a hoop was ripped off the front of a garage, it's perfect for baseketball. it's symmetrical enough, has a perfect spot for a grandslam, and true to the very nature of the sport, a fence over which you, the bitch, must fetch the ball when it bounces over. and usuall there is a dog barking to make you regret it. |