| FACT OR FICTION, ROUND 1 |
| 1) BUKKAKE TSUNAMI, GETTING A BIDDLE-LESS CASHDOLLAR AND SHELLEY AND WHITEY-LESS LIVE SEX CELEBRATION IN WEEK ONE, WILL START 2-0. |
| FICTION. big rando has a history of going .500, and i don't predict this week to be any different. i expect the tsunami will defeat bidd-free cashdollar; without their all-star dominating in the middle i can't see mikey and pj doing nearly enough to keep the tough defense of rando, kurt, ben smiff and plackey off the glass. sure, cash will still put up points, but look for a handful of tsunami assists to be the difference in the scoring. live sex celebration, meanwhile, won't be quite as easy. even without shelley and ben elliott, the quartet of tomko, jamie moroco, kippy and esenwein should be able to outscore bukkake, and may actually be the better team inside. it will be hard for any of rando's troops to keep nate contained underneath, especially with the capable duo of corbett and esenwein charging the paint. |
| 2) WITH DENNIS LACKEY AS IT'S CAPTAIN, JUKEBOX HERO MAY ACTUALLY WIN MORE THAN 5 GAMES THIS SEASON |
| FICTION. it's nice that jukebox will be able to rely on at least one good player week in and week out, but dennis lackey is certainly not enough to allow the yellow mesh to win a quarter of their games. no knock on dennis, mind you, he is perfect for the job, but to win in this day and age you need skill and depth, two things that jukebox isn't likely to have. dennis is most likely good for one more win this campaign, but i still foresee a long summer for JBH. |
| 3) THERE'S A REASONABLE CHANCE SOMEONE OTHER THAN NATE TOMKO OR TERRY SHERNISKY COULD WIN THE 2006 PLAYER OF THE YEAR AWARD |
| FICTION. i suppose there's an outside chance biddle could tip in 100 double plays or a ben smith-type could jack enough homers to make it interesting, but i wouldn't consider either reasonable. either shernisky or tomko is the frontrunner, with the other close behind and both way in front of the pack. sherry, in my opinion, is the favorite. he'll be batting, or at least should be batting, behind both aryn christman and katie kelly, so if he can hold his form from last season we could be looking at 150 rbi. on top of that, he's his teams only double play threat, and should tally at least 75 of those. numbers certainly impressive enough to win the award, even more so should he bat around .700 as i project. tomko obviously cannot be counted out given what he's done in years past, but his team certainly won't be built for him to put up gaudy numbers. i think his best shot would be to win the regular season title with a team that may not be quite as talented as shernisky, or perhaps crush terry's head in a scrum to eliminate his stiffest competition. |
| 4) THE MOST INTRIGUING MATCHUP OF WEEK ONE IS TEAM WET DREAM VS. THE FRANKENBITCHES, AS THOSE WOULD BE THE TOP CHAMPIONSHIP CONTENDERS RIGHT NOW |
| FACT. or at least partly fact. team wet dream is a nearly concencus preseason pick to win it all. but i'm not entirely sold on the frankenbitches. i think the number two spot is totally up for grabs at this point, as b.frank and co. have far from locked up that spot. on paper, they look good: bryan frank, mike frank, olsavsky and a pair of lackey's as well as a bench full of vets, but it's hard to imagine this team gelling. in fact, there have already been grumblings from at least one member, who said if he remained on the team he most likely would stop showing up after the third or fourth week. yikes. this game will be interesting mainly because it will be one of the few week one games to feature two teams playing at full strength. other potential contenders, such as cashdollar and LSC will be missing kep components, and we won't be seeing them at their best until at least three weeks in. so based on what version we will be seeing, i'm saying that this will be the most intriguing matchup of championship contenders week one has to offer. |
| 5) THE MINORI-TEAM IS WAY UNDERRATED |
| FICTION. i wouldn't say they're underrated, it's more or less that someone has to finish last and from where most of the sbl is standing it's looking like that someone is erin hayden and her band of merry men. it's already been discovered by the sbl offices that jeremy battyani will be taking an internship over the summer, rendering him virtually useless to the minori-team, meaning the two big (and only) guns in weisberg and mcclelland will have to shoulder even more of the load. even more so, erin's squad didn't do themselves a lot of favors in the draft, opting for more talented players versus those of the reliable mold. should terry hall, billy picciotto and addam stainbrook show up, this team shoots up the rankings and may even become a favorite, but as of now that seems unlikely. |
| 6) WITHOUT SHELLEY GOODPASTOR, LIVE SEX CELEBRATION WON'T WIN 10 GAMES |
| FICTION. any time a team loses a player the calibur of shelley, there stock is going to drop. if there is a silver lining for LSC in this cloud, it's that this is the team most built to handle such a loss. jamie moroco, while nobody would put her in shelley's league based on her recent play, she was at one time the o.g. (original goodpastor), knocking down doubles and triples all stoic-like with an average at the top of the sbl. should she be able to harness the deadeye of old, moroco could be in for some hardware come season's end, whether it be most improved or -dare we dream- player of the year. besides jamie's shelley, jr. potential, the core of tomko, big whitey and kip actually match up well with much of the league, where the talent has, for the most part, been spread around pretty evenly. throw in the all-star play of andy esenwein for a handful of weeks and a quartet of sure-wins against jukebox hero and it's more likely the celebration wins something like 12 or 13. |