| 2007 DRAFT RECAP AND GRADES |
| PJ & THE LADIES predraft: after a year free from the hammer and sickle, not even the man who spent years fighting it, then a year lording over it, could imagine another summer without it. when the sbl dictator approached big rando knight with the idea of getting the band back together- but the real band, not the version that won the '05 left-eye- the big man was more than eager to take the reigns. the league continued to aid in the glorious reformation of the great red army when pj nespor was announced as knight's first teammate. with the tandem that was responsible for pj and the ladies from day one once again united, even the most casual of sbl observers new what the league was in for in 2007. while nespor and knight are both sbl hall of famers and solid players in their own right, they needed to add some serious talent with their final two predraft pickups. however, unlike most teams, the talent they needed not only had to be solid in terms of ability, but ridiculous in terms of personality. the third player they were dealy was just that. dennis lackey, the premiere psyche-out artist in the bizzniss and a former player of the year candidate went to the ladies in the third round of player announcements. while dlackey has been a charter member of the weenises- the arch-rivals of pj & the ladies- for years, anyone who is anyone knows that fuzzyhead belongs on this team. can you imagine trying to shoot on a team with not only lackey, but an antire squad of facist-fighting trash can tossers behind him? egad! with a trio of characters who fit perfect with what the ladies are all about- being morons- this team needed one final piece of the puzzle to really make the roster stand out. how about a former player of the year, sbl hall of famer, and the captain of the championship-winning ladies of '05? william weisberg, the go-with-the-flow, unselfish to a fault hebrew hammer was the final predraft acquisition of the ladies. weisberg adds instant credibility to a roster that, while it could win games, most likely wouldn't have. the ladies now reformed, the only business to be had was adding to the mix more of what has made the ladies the backbone of the league for years: idiots and assholes to fuck with tomko. pick 3: a time that should have been glorious for the ladies- they had recently reformed with a stellar starting four - turned sour real friggin' quick when big rando knight came down with the flu hours before the draft. replacing rando at the draft was former lady captain billy weisberg, who botched his selections on an epic scale. while weisberg will certainly tell you that we didn't let him pick who he wanted, anyone else at the draft will tell you that we simply reminded the hebrew hammer that he wasn't picking for himself, he was picking for pj&l. they'll also tell you that what weisberg did was something in the middle of what he wanted and what his captain would have wanted, and he dropped the ball big time. weisberg's first selection, at pick 3, was joel lepak. yes, the same joel lepak who hasn't hoisted a shot in 2 years. and yes, the same joel lepak that would have certainly been around in round three, maybe even later. and yes, the same joel lepak that absolutely, positively would not have gotten picked up for another team for the simple fact that he's a lady through and through and would have sabotaged anyone else into oblivion. i'm not going to argue that joel belongs on this team, but taking him over lenny crist at this point was moronic. pick 12: the only thing billy did right all draft was take jason biddle in round two. with biddle counterpart justin shaffer going one pick earlier, jabidd would have certainly been gone by pj&l's next pick. he's tough as hell, and always shows up once. besides, i've always wanted to see him in the red. pick 17: katie burger has a pretty nice middle triple shot, or at least she did THREE SEASONS AGO WHEN SHE LAST PLAYED! pick 26: okay, so now we're taking players who not only are totally unreliable, but also not a good fit for pj & the ladies. jimmy holl, off the board. pick 31: when the most reliable player off your bench has hit 4 shots in his life (all middle singles), your bench is dick. john offutt at pick 31, even with rando's girlfriend still on the board. GRADE: F+ direct quote from rando after seeing what billy had done: "he did know he was drafting for his own team, didn't he?" here's hoping that niether rando, pj, billy or dlackey ever, ever, ever miss a game, because their bench is nonexistent. the key to drafting is getting the players that you want without reaching, and weisberg put on a clinic on how to not do that. then, he topped himself by taking nobody who actually comes to baseketball on even a semi-regular basis. the plus is for getting jabidd, and congrats to bryan frankovich for finally not having the worst draft in the league. |
| THE SPARKLING WIGGLES predraft: danielle hennon leads a baseketball for the second go in as many seasons, and the queen of the middle single is desperatly looking to improve on the playoff-less season she had a year ago. a consistent hitter from inside her range, danielle needed more help than most of the other captains, making her first three teammate announcements huge. hennon got off to a good start with it was announced that she would be reuniting with patrick lackey. parters on the return of the weenises two seasons back, plackey and danielle were an intrical part in the weenises better-than-expected season, and both put up career numbers while playing together. pat gives danielle some range, a solid defender, and one hell of a rainmaking jump shot. however, pat has been less than commital in regards to the upcoming season, so who knows if we'll get the 100+ rbi version of the senior lack or something much less spectacular. with her first pick sketchy at best, danielle needed someone equally as talented but a little more reliable. she got just that, but perhaps a little more than she bargained for in katie kelly. it's not huge secret that kelly and hennon aren't the greatest of chums, but adding one of the top six hitters in the game to her lineup has to make danielle really consider trying to work things out. if katie and danielle can get along, and split the close shots they both hold so dearly, this could be one of the best batting combos in the league. glaring holes were obvious in this squad's game after the first three playerrs were announced. though hennon and kelly could light it up from close range, they needed someone to stroke from deep. and with lackey unsure, defense was a major concern. both problems were solved when sbl hall of famer nate tomko was the final player announced. with an all-around gamne second to none in the league, tomko adds toughness inside, the ability to stroke the longball, on-court leadership, and at least one more player who will never miss a game. pick 5: though she hasn't played a game in a year or so, danielle felt strongly enough about her starting four to roll the dice on elysa farrell with her first-rounnd pick. farrell had informed hennon beau/sbl dictator nate tomko that she'd be more than happy to play with him in the upcoming summer, which could mean doom for the league. if farrell goes regular, it could give the wiggles five .500 or better hitters on their roster, and perhaps even four with a .600 average. yikes! pick 12: in one of the more head-scratching picks of hennon's draft, steven renee condo went off the board in round two. condo's skills are tight, he can hit the homer, play defense with the best of 'em... but really, is putting him alongside tomko smart? last time the two of them were at baseketball together, punched were thrown. between katie/danielle and tomko/condo, this team could see it's share of fireworks this season. pick 19: danielle continued her seemingly patternless drafting with the selection of jeremy battyani in round three. battyani has proven that he can play; keep in mind he came in second in the sbl most improved player voting not so many season ago. unfotunately, he's also proven himself to be totally shady with the whole being around thing (he leaves playoff games to smoke the cheeba) if he's not feelin' baseketball that day. pick 23: scott lewis, a candadian with a .000 batting average who looks to be in a tight battle with brendan radcliffe all season for the league's all-time low batting average. hmmm.... pick 33: quaker steak and lube has produced some of the best sbl rookies thorughout the years, and danielle hoped john takash will keep that trend going. though no one has actually seen him shoot a ball, he is tall. and that works so well for the frankovich family. GRADE: B++ if... IF... elysa farrell is true to her word about playing baseketball this year, this grade becomes an A++. based on talent alone, she was the best player available, and even better than quite a few players who had already found homes. besides farrell, danielle got two more good players in condo and battyani. and while some might scoff at condo, battyani and good in the same sentence, keep in mind that both of them got taken after joel lepak and matt battyani. i mean, seriously, does anyone really think matt is going to be so much better than jeremy that he should get snatched up 13 spots sooner? and while condo can be a little hard to take, the fact remains that if he plays a full year he's an all-star and he's out of the army for the first time since basekatball began. scott is s bad player but a good guy, and takash is about as unknown as they come. it's hard to argue with danielle on either of them- by that time she was filling out the far, far end of her bench- but i would have like to see the name stainbrook on this roster. oh well, i guess i can't ask for the stars, too. good job, danielle. unless elysa snubs you. |