| SHENANGAHELA BASEKETBALL LEAGUE PRESEASON ALL-AMERICANS FOR 2004 FIRST TEAM - Jon Biddle, XdeathXwsacX- tall, talented and well-hung, jon biddle more then lived up to the hype in 2003 with a second team all american showing and a near-miss on the sbl rookie of the year trophy. after wowing the masses week in an week out and week back in again, j.bidd finished the season with an sbl rookie record 63 double plays and, along with fellow rookie phenom matt mclelland, led his vice city miracle team to the promised land. assuming the promised land is first-round playoff elimination. anyway, jon biddle has his own team this year and has surrounded him with a cast of players that he seems to fit in much better with. whether they're as talented as his 2003 compatriats has yet to be seen, but it seems fairly obvious that biddle should only pad his dp stats without mclelland swiping 20 out from (literally) under him. he's capable of 80 double plays, and can reasonably hit .400 with 20 homers. if he can achieve those numbers, look for biddle to have a nice, long postseaon this year. - Matt Mcclelland, the Serbian Jew Double Bluffs- the only rookie to earn first team recognition last season has somehow managed to bulk up a supporting class of 2 all-stars by surrounding himself with a two-time player of the year in nate tomko and the best leadoff hitter in the sbl in shelly goodpastor. depending on whether he bats himself in the 2 or 3 spot in the double bluff lineup, mclelland should improve on his 46 rbi total from 2003 by 40 to 60. an 86 rbi year may be a bit in doubt, but mclelland will surely float around .550 for the year. mclelland bluffs have pretty much locked up a spot in the playoffs two months before the season starts, and that intimidation/confidence should propel him to an mvp-calibur season. on the flip side of the coin, however, matt quietly snuck into the league last season, and now that teams are looking out for him it could put a crimp into his player of the year plans. we'll have to see how matt's 2004 year plays out. - Jared Clayton, Clayton's Big Fat Gay Baseketball Team- now a world champion, jared is as close to a preseason sure thing as you're going to get. every other preseason first-teamer (or second teamer, for that matter) has some sort of flaw in their game, whether it be double plays (mclelland) or attendance (tomko) or solid supporting class (j.bidd), but clayton has the total package. he's been money since his first game in the league in 2002. in last year's postseason, and more particularly the playoffs, he showed that when things are going right for him, he's the best overall player in the league. clayton, ever the longball shooter, is a concensus pick to lead the league in homers. it's fairly easy to do when you shoot 15 a game and make 40% of your shots. also, batting behind elysa farrell and jamie moroco will give j-unit plenty of rbi's to collect. on the other side of the ball, jared is his teams only real double play threat, and another 70 d.p. season is highly likely. pencil clayton in as a player of the year finalist now. - Nate Tomko, the Serbian Jew Double Bluffs- you would assume that nate tomko, the defending player of the year and arguably the best player in sbl history would be a lock for the his third straight preseason all-american first team. for the first time in the 4 year history of the sbl, this is not the case. while nate hasn't lost the shooting that has led him to three regular season batting crowns and the inside play that has kept him atop the double play category every year, what will diminish greatly in 2004 are his games played. tomko, after missing exaclty zero weeks in the history of the league, will almost surely miss the first two, possibly three weeks of the 2004 campaign, and even with the stud lineup he's surrounded with as a member of the bluffs, it will be difficult for tomko to keep his double play, assist, rbi and homer numbers up with league's elite, who all seems poised to play 20-game schedules. however, while he may not terrorize the sbl as he has thus far, even 14-game nate has to be considered an all-american until someone proves him wrong. and playing less games should only help that .700 average. - Kip Corbett, XdeathXwsacX- and why not? who better than kippy to occupy the final spot on the preseason all-american team? billy weisberg? he's never gotten it done before, so why should surrounding him with one of the worst teams in the league improve his stock? mark tarkanick or andy esenwein or shelly goodpastor? not as long as there's a 50/50 chance they play in 8 games. rando knight or pj nespor? sure, like their games need jinxed anymore than they already are, being members of pj & the ladies and all. besides, those two could well spend more innings in the penalty box than out. but kip has been a tough s.o.b. since his first week, when he rejuvinated a dying weenises team a few years back. last season, kip had a .511 average, 38 rbi and 14 double plays in a 13-game season. his game total will certainly go up, assuming he can remember his uniform, and if it does, his numbers could reach gaudy status. and is there anyone in recent memeory who's hit more huge shots than paul corbett? SECOND TEAM - Shelly Goodpastor, the Serbian Jew Double Bluffs- you bat .600 over 14 games, you're an all-american. frankly, it doesn't matter if you don't play defense. - Bryan Frankovich, Hoosier Daddy- by the end of the year, most people will realize that mark tarkanick is neither the best or most important player on hooiser daddy. we're just smart enough to see it now. - Billy Weisberg, Teddy's Short Bus All Stars- poor billy. seemingly, he's cursed to spend eternity surrounded by a dud of a supporting class. but who knows? maybe short bus helmsman teddy gilliland will pull 2 more all-american rookies out of his cavernous ass... - Big Rando Knight, PJ & the Ladies- we just wouldn't have ourselves an all american second team without rando knight, now would we? look for the same old thing from the big guy: a .400 average, 10 or so homers, 50 some runs batted in, about 4 dozen double plays, and 1.46 penalties per game. - Elysa Farrell, Clayton's Big Fat Gay Baseketball Team- in a tight battle for the final spot on the second team, elysa gets the nod over jamie moroco, mikey moroco and pj nespor simply because she showed us in last years playoffs that she's ready to take the next step. putting up an .800 average and being the driving force behind sending the best team in the league home will do that. 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