| 2004 SHENANGAHELA BASEKETBALL LEAGUE ALL-AMERICANS |
| FIRST TEAM: Jon Biddle, xdeathx/wsac: 21 GP, 4 HR, 175 AB, .457 AVG, 40 RBI, 3 AST, 96 DP, 5 PO, 12 DUMB in spite of being only a second-year player in the sbl, jon biddle has solidified himself as not only one of the best players in the league, but one hell of a captain as well. he continued to be the most dominating defensive presence ever to set foot on an sbl court, tipping in a record 96 double plays, and although he struggled at the plate over the first few weeks of the season, eventually found his shot and became one of the top leadoff hitters in the game. in addition to his stellar play on the field, biddle also captained a rookie-laden smoker squad to a 3rd place finish, one made homer away from a birth in the finals, and introduced the sbl to the three leading rookie of the year votegetters in teammates dank elly and billy picciotto and hoosier daddy's brandon mckendry. look for biddle to make the leap to serious player of the year contender in 2005. Nate Tomko, The Serbian Jew Double Bluffs: 18 GP, 40 HR, 140 AB, .707 AVG, 122 RBI, 13 AST, 58 DP, 3 PO, 4 DUMB after setting single-season records for homers, batting average and runs batted in, as well as placing in the top 5 of every other major category, the sbl's president narrowly missed his 3rd player of the year award to teammate matt mccllelland. however, tomko, mcclelland and company's serbian jew double bluffs did rattle off 20 consecutive wins en route to the sbl world championship, a prize more valuable than any individual award. as the best player on the sbl's most dominating team, tomko is a shoe-in for his 4th straight trip to the all-american first team and shows no signs of slowing down. Bryan Frankovich, Hoosier Daddy: 20 GP, 17 HR, 199 AB, .568 AVG, 72 RBI, 6 AST, 32 DP, 0 PO, 10 DUMB in his rookie campaign of 2003, bryan frankovich showed flashes of the greatness that would come, but barely missed out on a spot on the second team. this season, he lept over nearly everyone between himself and the top of the pile, emerged as a player of the year contender, made people forget about jared clayton, and lead his hoosier daddy team to the sbl finals. one of the most complete players in the game, and the best player who can't yet drive a car, frankovich placed in the top 7 of every statistical category, one of only two players who can make that claim. in 2004, bryan knocked on the door. it's only a matter of time before he breaks through it. Dennis Lackey, Hoosier Daddy: 16 GP, 10 HR, 158 AB, .430 AVG, 70 RBI, 0 AST, 14 DP, 18 PO, 4 DUMB had someone told you in early may that dennis lackey would be on the all-american team, you would have laughed in his face. when hoosier daddy captains mikey moroco and bryan frankovich sold the farm to acquire fuzzyhead, you did laugh in their face. the only one laughing now is dennis lackey. alright, all the people he psyched-out are laughing, too. while the sbl generally associates dennis lackey with psyche-outs (he shattered the previous season record with 18), he's hardly a one-trick pony. with offensive stats two-thirds of the league would be envious of, lackey had us all removing our feet from our mouths come seasons end. Billy Weisberg, The Short Bus All-Stars: 20 GP, 6 HR, 220 AB, .450 AVG, 41 RBI, 10 AST, 55 DP, 0 PO, 8 DUMB due to the stat-driven, homer-or-die attitude of some of his teammates, weisberg's stats look somewhat pedestrian alongside the rest of the juggernauts on the allamerican first-team. but sometimes statistics alone cannot properly demonstrate the value a player has to his team (teddy ballgames 21 homers, eg.). billy weisberg is a shining example of this. while he doesn't hit 20 homers or drive in 60 runs, weisberg is one of the most feared and respected players in the game. he's always a force underneath, often to the point that defenses refuse to attempt a double play when he's on base, and always seems to hit the big shot when it matters. some day, weisberg will find himself on a more talented team and make a run at the player of the year trophy. here's hoping it's soon. SECOND TEAM: Mikey Moroco, Hoosier Daddy: 15 GP, 8 HR, 165 AB, .558 AVG, 41 RBI, 1 AST, 12 DP, 5 PO, 7 RBI the scottie pippen to b-frank's m.j., mikey is slightly less talented, slightly more goofy, and way more chinese. but he's still better than 3/4's of the sbl. as a co-captain of hoosier daddy, moroco was instrumental in the solid acquisitions of first teamer dennis lackey and seth "new betts" salcedo and a top contributer in h.d.'s improbably finals run. his .558 average was good for 8th in the sbl, reason enough to earn mr. chang his first all-star and all-american appearances. Shelly Goodpastor, The Serbian Jew Double Bluffs: 16 GP, 11 HR, 142 AB, .676 AVG, 73 RBI, 0 AST, 2 DP, 0 PO, 2 DUMB by putting up her best season ever, shelly still manages to live up to being the best player never to appear on an all-american first team. her monsterous average and rbi numbers were second in the sbl to teammate tomko (who, it shall always be noted, bats behind her, giving him way more oppurtunities to gobble up the ribbies), and while she did find considerably more glove time in the sj2b's 5-5-3 defense, her low numbers in that sector continue to keep her off the A-team. perhaps she'll pack on 30 lbs. and and a zuludong in height during her frosh year at behrend and biddle-off in d.p.'s in 2005. then she'd be... i think i ruined my shorts. Jon Olsavsky, The Serbian Jew Double Bluffs: 17 GP, 12 HR, 141 AB, .511 AVG, 53 RBI, 1 AST, 25 DP, 5 PO, 1 DUMB obviously, when a superb player who has spent season after season as the biggest (and often only) gun on his respective team willingly takes a backseat to players equal to his own skill in order to win a championship, his stats will suffer significantly. the fact that jon still managed to find a way to put up another phenomenal season speaks volumes about his abilities as a baseketballer. as one of only 4 sbl players to appear in every all-star game, every all-american squad, jon olsavsky will go down in the sbl recordbooks as one of the games best, both on and off the court. Matt McClelland, The Serbian Jew Double Bluffs: 19 GP, 5 HR, 146 AB, .651 AVG, 41 RBI, 2 AST, 15 DP, 1 PO, 2 DUMB there are 2 people in the world that would have been capable of keeping all the egos, all the talent, of the sbl world champion double bluffs in line and happy. one is former houston oiler placekicker al del greco, who has repeatedly declined sbl offers to captain a franchise, and the other is matt mcclelland. doing what few baseketball stars are willing or able to, sit the bench or shoot something other that homers, matt created a baseketball powerhouse of stallanion (in "over the top", not "oscar") preportiants. and even while riding the pine for much of the season, big mac was still bad enough to hit .651 (3rd in sbl) and place in the upper third in every other area. oh, and he was the sbl 2004 player of the year. cause he's sweet like that. Big Rando Knight, PJ & The Ladies: 18 GP, 11 HR,157 AB, 157 AVG, .433 AVG, 43 RBI, 1 AST, 35 DP, 3 PO, 9 DU oh, big rando: baseketball at it's finest. was there ever any doubt the big man would be on this list come season's end? if, as rumoured, this was his final season, we've seen the end of an era and said goodbye to one of the best. maybe he'll be like ozzy osbourne and people will recognize his true talents after he's dead. wait. ozzy's still alive? HONORABLE MENTION: Ted Gilliland, The Short Bus All-Stars; Dank Elly, xdeathx/wsac; Brandon Mckendry, Hoosier Daddy; Billy Picciotto, xdeathx/wsac 2004 ALL AMERICAN HOME |