Back again. Can we all agree how lame the Superbowl was, especially the ads? You people were probably like, "When is Ben going to write another article so we can have something to save us from our boring lives?" Well, it's here.
Before I get into this week's topic, I just have a few words to say about something non-SBL related. It is really, really annoying when girls put depressing away messages up. Things like, "I wish my McDreamy was out there for me." or "Dreaming of the perfect world...too bad I can't fix the real one." (or something like that) LAME! LAME! LAME! I understand not every bit of writing can be a literary masterpiece like The Friday Hangover, but come on people, get over yourselves. Nobody cares, and if anybody else on your buddy list wrote weekly articles at work when they were hungover for a Baseketball League's web site, they would make fun of you too. And one more thing: Matt McClelland's gay.
Ok, onto the top 15 players to consider for this week's draft. For the purposes of having something to write about next week, I'll just count down to number 6. Keep in mind that this isn't necessarily a ranking of the best 15 players or even "Tomko's power rankings" or whatever he calls it. This is much more accurate, by the way. Oh, there are snubs too, so don't whine to me if you don't see your name on here.
15. Patrick Nespor: Yes, he deserves to be on this list ahead of some more talented players. He comes every week, makes us laugh (usually at his own expense), and has a lot of heart with no ego. Plus, he's been to the SBL finals twice. That's more than Billy Weisberg and Matt McClelland (former POTYs), more than either of his brothers, more than Terry Shernisky, and as many as Brian Frankovich or Jon Olsavsky (another former POTY). Sure, he hasn't won one...yet, but I was just saying...
14. The other two Nespors (PJ and Lee): With all that said, both have won an SBL championship, while little Patrick has not. Plus, I must give a shoutout to now "Hall of Famer", PJ Nespor, despite the fact that we may not see much of him this year. And Lee won a homerun derby, which is quite possibly more important than winning an SBL championship. So they both share number 14.
13. Jamie Morocco: She goes to Carnegie Mellon, which means she's supposed to be highly intelligent. One must wonder: if she's so smart, why couldn't she figure out a way to stop me draining homers on her team in the playoffs last year? The answer: Because CMU is inferior to Westminster College and Pitt, which are, coincidently, two schools I've attended. She's still a pretty good player, though. I would expect her to hit somewhere in the neighborhood of .550 and could probably be a leadoff hitter on most teams.
13. Kip Corbett: He does a lot for the site, mainly that little program for the stats page. So if you want a couple extra homers or a few more RBI, consider it done. He was on Nate's team last year, so how do you think he go such high numbers? Talent? Well, maybe. But the fact reamains, Kip could buff your stats. Not to mention that he's a three-time all-star. I suppose he has that going for him too.
12. Jon Biddle: After last year, I think we can all safely say that he is not the best defensive player in the league (strike one). Also, you have to question his reliabliity (strike two). He's also the co-reigning LVP of the league (strike three). He'll probably be taken before 12th if he even makes it to the draft at all, but those were three strikes, so he's out (of the top 11). He can probably smoke more cigerattes than anbody else in the SBL, something I don't even want to challenege him on.
11. Big Rando Knight: Can you believe how close he came to captaining an SBL championship team? I can't either and I played on it. You can't question that he's a pretty good player (he is a Hall of Famer). You can't question that he's been reliable. You can't question what he's meant to the game in its six years of existance. What you do have to question is why he racks up so many dumb things. His total of 13 led the league last year. Was he trying to match his number of dumb things to the ages of the girls he likes to date? He was pretty close.
10. Billy Weisberg: It's tough for him not to be higher on this list, although from this point until we get down to number 6, you can interchange a bit. As was said about him when naming the All-Americans from last year, though he may never have that huge, "player of the year" season, he is still one solid player. Other than that .398 average from last season, it is difficult to find a weakness in his game. And putting him this low on the list is probably more of a statement of how much the talent in this league has risen. I haven't been here as long as most of you, but who wouldn't have taken him as a top 5 player as late as 2004? I would expect him to maybe even improve a little bit on his numbers from last year, especially in the average and double play departments, and perhaps move up on a similar list next year, assuming that somebody actually puts together a similar list next year.
9. Katie Kelly: Aaah yes, the SBL's answer to Ichiro. For as much as we rib her, especially behind her back (bad things, Katie), she's been a very good player for her first three years. Who knows? Maybe this is the year she steps behind the single line. It's a bold speculation, but you never know in this league. Oooh, and she's 18 now, which is funny because that's how many homers I plan on dropping the first week of Baseketball.
8. Aryn Christman: Hands down, she's a better player than Katie, and plus, we won a couple games of beer pong together one time so that makes her cooler, too. She's more than ready to bear the title of "second best female player in the league", and has it in my book. Hell, she's ready to become one of the best in this league, period. If she's show up more, she could very well find herself on the all-star roster again and maybe even be a POTY finalist. Maybe someday, it will be Shelley who bears the title "second best female player in the league".
7. Matt McClelland: Would be higher on this list if I knew for sure he'd be around this year. I would lean towards "yes", especially with the fact that he's looking at moving a little more closer to home, though he did promise showing up for the playoffs last year and missing them. And since you know, the SBL is more important than anything else in life (::cough:: sarcasm ::cough::), he gets pushed down a couple pegs. With all that said, the man still has it. Will he win player of the year again? Probably not. Is he good enough to make more all-star teams? Absolutely. Is he too much of a pussy to come out to Pittsburgh and get drunk with me? Yyeeeaaahhhh Daaawwwgggg!
6. Ben Smith: As someone who could be put anywhere on this list, it's fitting that he goes near the middle. Say what you will about him: he drinks too much, he's not a great defensive player, he screws around too much, he's homer happy. But he's been to the finals in each of his three years (twice as the lowest seed in the playoffs), and if you can recall the two fall tournaments he's been in, he's been a winner there (or at least co-champion). You have to say that he's been a winner and a better clutch shooter than most. He's someone definatley looking to play better than his below-standards numbers from last season showed, and would like to actually win the three game series in the finals instead of just lead a miracle run to get there.
Next week, we count down all the way to number one. Sure, you can probably guess the top 5, but what order will they be in? How will I make fun of them? Will I use pictures? I would also like to note that anybody you find on next week's list is purely fictional and only there to prove that I am not biased and do not have an ego. That is all.